Today had to be one of the most random days everrrrrr.....
1. I get mysteriously taken off of the schedule of my job of three weeks
2. I'm proposed to by a random man at the G2 bus stop while waiting to go home after feeling 'fired'
3. I send an email to the regional sales manager and am hired again.

4. Receive an email from an admirer who saw my picture on Lenzism and said the following

I just saw a picture of you on Lenzism.com and you are a
beautiful girl. Your eyes make you look like a bright, smart, and
respectful woman. I know you know this but let me just say 'a person's
eyes are a window to their soul.' Grace me with your beautiful
presence and let me know you a little bit better and like Columbus let
us sail on a journey of each other's minds and see what it leads to.
In each other's eyes that is where we find ourselves as the eyes never
lie.

5. Am honest with myself and decide I really didn't feel like working a retail job anyway [no matter how smashing the products] and quit the job.

They couldn't write days like this if they wanted to!

PS: 6. There's a knock at the door, it's my rapper exboyfriend who I haven't heard from in almost 6 months stopping by because he was 'in the neighborhood' and saw my light on and plans to call me tomorrow. Who invited him back? OMG. Lord, days like this....

now playing: poison- bell biv devoe

Feelin' Froggy?

You know what's soooo weird? I don't want to be in a relationship. Like honestly, I don't for the first time in a minute. I'm comfortable with the life and dating style I currently have [oh yea, that striking barely lasted 24 hours]. At first I just didn't get why I had been giving the best that I got and no one seemed ready. Then I did some self reflection and after deciding that they might not all be fullofshitnogoodniggasthataintnevergonnadorightbyme, I could see that it's simply a bad time in life to be bunned up. The futures so foggy I can barely see where my next footstep will land. I'm not sure what the next 2 or 3 months hold for me, I'm not sure about where I'll be living, where I'll be working, what mood I'll be in, or what haircut I'll have..I don't know anything! It would just be the worst thing for me to bring someone into that blurry equation. i feel like a frog making a big leap off of a lily pad and afraid that i wont land flat on the next. I'm making a big jump in life but I'm not quite sure what I'm jumping into and though a boyfriend might be a source of security it could also sway decisions that don't need to have anyone else's influence but my own. I was so into having a boo, I couldn't even see that this was a bad time for me just as much as it is for them. The dating life is fun, it's nice to have things easy and breezy and can often me a glimpse of sunshine in a cloudy and uncertain reality. I dont know if you can tell but I'm really having post grad anxiety! It makes me nauseous just thinking about it.

On a less sickly note, I am looking forward to when I am ready to take the plunge. Being intimate, not physically but emotionally and spiritually, with someone is an experience like no other. Have you ever loved someone so much that you wanted to melt into them? It sounds so pyscho...but my friend and I were talking about this yesterday while riding around Baltimore. When you're in love the butterflies are just so sick and never ending- that place where the only thing you're scared of is losing them and that feeling that you all share. When that day and time comes, it will be a beautiful thing. I look forward that experience but until then I'm working on doing me to the fullest and cherishing each and every millisecond of it.

Now Playing: Its Whatever- Aaliyah

Updates!

Hey world, I know i've been a little MIA on the blog scene but life has really been happening! So I'm a regular bloggerist on Lenzism so please check me out and show some love. I talk about fashion, spot hot @$$ mess, and feature tons of products. We're really trying to do big things over at Lenzism so support! I also just got a job as a key holder at Lush Cosmetics - yesterday was my first day and so far so good! I'm excited about the possibilities with the company, since its worldwide and has a branch in just about any city you ever wanted to live in or visit there are lots of options. I'm thinking this is my perfect way to move to LA or NYC. Its a fun and enjoyable bread and butter job that still allows me the time and flexibility to pursue my ambitions without moving too far away from my field. I mean the bills have to be paid, being a starving artist is not what's good in the hood. Please believe mama will be getting money... being a paper chaser is in my DNA and having about 3-4 hustles is not foreign to me. So, here it is...grind time. It begins now...I didn't get the job at Lush because I'm currently in need of money but the opportunity came and I took it, knowing that I didn't want to have to scramble to find one when I was finally cut the teets of my parents. Plus all my friends have jobs so if there's no one else to bs with what's the fun of free time? 

In other news one of bests just got an interview at Giant. Cool right? It reminds me of how I need to return to my hard pursuit of journalism. While I'm sooo open to do fashion pr or production or styling, I've always wanted to get into magazines. I've applied to a really crucial internship for the summer at on publication and I think I'm a great candidate but we'll see. I'll be applying to more soon  but if its fulltime it has to be paid. I don't see how people can do that...fulltime unpaid internships? WHHHHAAAAT?! How do you eat like that? There are so many uncertainties in my life right now...Ugh.

I do know one thing for sure...I'm going to be somebody!

Congrats on Getting Signed on to BadBoy

This song is my motivation when things don't seem to go my way...Enjoy!

I Love When It Rains Outside

                                               

Okay...now that that bit is done.So the beat doesn't stop and neither does time.

Nope. Not for anyone- not even me. 

So, I've been breaking my strike; there's no real way I can. Tonight I went to this concert/recital here on campus called Love Story [if you go to HU, I'm sure you heard about it]...either way, I really did not what it was or why it was $12 but I went anyway because I wanted to support my friends. It's always so interesting when you see someone that you were once involved with and you all see each other again. What's even more interesting is when you are in a romantic environment but neither is with anyone or care to be. Unless it was with each other. 

Have you ever just wanted to break the silence and say, "hey, I'm still here and I still care" but pride mixed with fear stopped you.  That's a big move...to be vulnerable, to be real.  I feel like I've already been the bigger person by calling him and leaving a message, "hey its yasmine, I'm just calling to clear somethings up." and that was over a week ago. I wont go up and speak to him if he's speaking to everyone around me but me.  I tell myself that things will work themselves out...hopefully the way I want them to. 

Although I feel like it will- I still see the want in his eyes.

On a lighter note, please check out my new blog column, Haute Sh!t, on the ever humorous Lenzism.

Now Playing: You Made a Fool of Me, India Arie.

Just Like The Writers

...I'm going on strike. I don't know whether or not it's something I'm doing wrong but I definitely keep attracting all the wrong guys. So, I'm going on strike. I'm just going to let the love quest take a backseat to everything else. Easier said than done, I know but I think it's necessary. I need to do some self-reflection before I end up slicing one of these knuckleheads. Doesn't matter what age they seem to be, I've had 21, 22, 24, 26...they all bullshit- they just have different styles of bullshitting me. One tried to play the sincere honesty guy who just wasn't ready, one tried to get me caught up in his black consciousness scheme, the latest whole thing was that "he was a grown man" ..."we're both adults"..."I won't look at you any different if you give it up on the first night"...You may not, but I will! They make me want to scream. So instead of waking my roommates up, who seemingly never have anything to do in the morning,  I'll just said fuck it and leave it alone. 

Now Playing: Celibacy Blues- Jill Scott

...Though, I'm not sure whether or not this strike will include dates or not, sometimes that free dinner is what gets you through the night. On second thought, I think they will- that's how the grown man showed his ass.

Taking the Sugar and THE LEMON

Today was my first day on the beginning of a big internship with the EVP of a major television network and while it's not directly fashion related it will help me get to where I want to go if I grind hard enough. It's 12:38 AM and it feels more like 4am- I've been up since 7 something this morning. In just 8 hours I've learned so much and met so many people. It makes me happy to have put myself out there and up for scrutiny for the sake of tapping into a connection.  

As great and challenging as my internship has been I'm (once again) dissapointed with how people [ergo men, or a particular man] decided to act. He saw me in our school's Punchout (the cool fast food cafeteria geared to upperclassmen) and did not say one single word. Then for whatever reason I saw him at happy hour. He generally isn't one to be on the happy hour/ bar/lounge scene - he's more of a house party guy so I never thought he would be there even though all his friends were but of all nights this was the night he was dragged out of the house. He basically said he had been distant because he felt bombarded with questions regarding us and how he basically didn't want to constantly be associated with me or be known because me or whatever..."It's all just too high profile for me, honestly." There goes that damn word again, "honestly". Whatever.  I'm done. 

It's so crazy how on a day where I learn the most and am faced with my future, I have some of the hardest personal  realities. I'm out of it. Tired. I have a headache...

Now Playing: Whole Town Laughing At Me - Jagged Edge

I AM BEGINNING TO SEE THE LIGHT...

My friend always used to call me naive and gullible. The truth is I really am. People [guys] are always innocent until proven guilty with me but I'm truly beginning to think that it should be the other way around.
Here's the breakdown:
I've heard of Summer Love and Spring Flings - but I've never in my life heard of a Winter Break Romance. I feel so bamboozled and it didn't even happen to me. Basically my friends and I are at the party and this guy starts coming on to my friend. He's being uber aggressive and she is attracted too so they exchange digits and he takes it from there. Everyday he's calling her, trying to see her, they go out on numerous dates, hugged up in the club...it was a whirlwind romance. He met her momma, her dog, and she was beginning to get used to all of this attention. Initially she had her suspicions and even asked him about his current relationships, he admitted to "talking" to some girl from another state who was away for the break but he reassured her that it wasn't anything deep enough to stop him from exploring things with her.
So they continued...
This particular friend is extremely jaded and lets almost nothing really get to her but in the span of two weeks [before Christmas and after New Year's] he had begun to break down her barriers. She was almost open - when things fell apart.
Right when she started to care he pulled the rug right from under her, saying how he "didn't mean for things to escalate" and how his "heart" is really with the chick from out of state and how they've been through so much over the past "two years" and asked if they could still "be cool". WTF?! How convienient for it to be the day before her return. I was hurt.
I know it didn't happen to me, but it's happened before and happens all too often. Sure, "at least he was honest" but let me be frank...Honesty is a b-i-t-c-h! It's like he went out of his way to play her? What's the purpose of pursuing someone so adamatly just to renig a few weeks later? I feel horrible because I was really encouraging of him. I thought he was a sincere dude [yea, he's honest but I'm not so sure about how good his intentions were] and I wanted her to let him in and let her guard down a bit. Bad advice on my part, huh? I'm so freakin' gullible. You'd think that out of all of the misadventures I've had in love that I would be at least a bit jaded. Nope, not at all...to my demise. I'm like the bird that keeps running into the glass just because it seems see through. Hitting my head and falling back everytime. I trust too easily and don't make people earn it.
I never wanted to be one of those angry [black] women who always proclaimed, "_iggas ain't s-h-i-t!" but I'm honestly beginning to feel that way. There always seems some trick around the corner of bliss.

Now Playing: He Can Only Hold Her- Amy Whinehouse

Seek Those Seeking You

Am I the only person without a true New Year's Resolution? I'm not going on a super new diet that garuntees that I'll lose 50 pounds in two weeks, I'm going to continue my Sprite addiction, and I will still eat beef every now and then even though it takes a month to digest. Yes, 2008 will be a GR8 year but it there won't be any changes due to unatural causes.

So Caleb, my youngest brother, is going through a few growing pains. He's 13 and in the 8th grade at the largest and one of the most prestigious private schools in the southeast. He's struggling to find his place in it all. Don't get me wrong, my baby bro isn't a "lame", he plays football and baseball, has an array of friends but Big Sissy always knows when K-Bird is faking the funk. One of his friends from Pre-K came over and prior to his arrival Caleb goes, "have you ever had a friend who you've known since Pre-K [though I was never in Pre-K] and you don't see each other that often and when you get older they're a little lame but you still have fun with them so you're still friends?" Honest question, huh? Well, I replied, "You know, the tides change alot when you're growing up. People who are cool in elementary may be lame in middle school or they may not be and people who are the ish in middle school may fall off it high school or they may not. All that to say that you can't base your friendships on people's popularity and if you're friend is honest, true, and fun then you stay their friend even when it's not popular." My mother thought that this was needed advice as she sensed Caleb's reservations. "He wants to be friends with this kid Ryan" she said, "and yes, Ryan's a nice kid but Caleb wants to be his friend because he's the star football player, his dad is a trainer for alot of professional football players, and he's really popular. What I try to instill in Caleb is that you can't choose your friends like that and you should seek those who seek you, Ryan's not the one calling wanting to come over."

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a bit crestfallen when I heard this. No one wants their sibling to be a "reacher"- needless to say, Caleb's getting my special lecture on "how to have true friends and make it look effortless." Tonight was my last real night in the A-town and I went to the Poetry Slam at The Apache Cafe. As I heard all of the spoken word artists rhyme verbal revelations, I had an epiphany of my own. I too should seek those seeking me instead of constantly reaching for something that may or may not be there. While I may have the popularity [whatever that means] thing on lock, I don't always seek men who seek me. One of my friends/lovedoctors made a comment, "Yaz, you like guys that are hard to get". I'm not sure what that's all about but it is a bit true. Why don't I give the time to guys who are just as excited about me as I am about them? I too am guilty of "reaching". It's a mess, ain't it? It's true though and I'm not ashamed of it because everyone's guilty. We all are like little Caleb trying to find his way. Okay, so after talking it out with myself, the computer monitor, and my dog, Sole, I guess my resolution is to seek those and that which seeks me (only if passes my 10 point inspection of course!)

Happy New Year Everyone!

Now Playing: All For You- Little Brother

My apologies go out to Richard Bentley Young, and whom ever else may have been waiting on a end of the year post and my thoughts for 2008.
Let me first start by saying that the past week has been a whirlwind. One of my very best friends fulfilled my prophecy of being the first to get married. Okay, well she did halfway did anyway- she got engaged. On Christmas Eve at that! How romantic right? Her engagement brings on so many emotions. For one, it makes me feel so fucking old so quickly. When did we get grown? She was just driving her mom’s rusty Bronco that we named, OJ. I didn’t realize that we were even allowed to have boys call the house!!! I’m late! Okay, so that was a little extreme but really though I feel though we’re so young and even though she’s only a year and a few months older than me I’m surprised that her family was elated and supportive and that she wasn’t drowned with lectures about "living your life to the fullest before settling down with some man". She and her boyfriend have been dating for just about five years and I had been talking about who her Maid of Honor should be to avoid the drama. Who knew the very next day she’d tell me that he popped the question. Crazy?! I guess it was the natural flow of the relationship…it was truly at the final fly or die stage and the time isn’t necessarily bad – they’re both done with undergrad. He owns a home, she’s moving out on her own on the first of the new year. They both have good jobs, she’s going to grad school next semester. They’re definitely a young couple on a serious come up but I have all faith that their love and their financial saavy. (because I don’t believe love is ever enough)
Another weird thing that happened when she got engaged was this sudden pressure. It came from no where. It was like this gun went off to mark the beginning of a race. Not a singles race but a relay. Kinda’ like the "life has officially begun" gun and she’s waaaaay in the lead. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not ready to catch up to her. I can barely get a steady boyfriend, let alone a five year fire. I couldn’t even imagine being engaged, I don’t even like to play like that on Facebook. It’s just really crazy. I’m happy for her – super happy.
Another piece of my whirlwind is experiencing my very first bikini wax! WOW! That’s all I have to say. I’m guilty of sending models to get them before fashion shows but either I got a super bikini or this is the hell they go through just to weed the garden. I don’t want you all to think it was a jungle (not that you would be wondering but since I brought it up I just thought I’d clear my name) but I was always curious to see what wax could do. I actually hadn’t planned on getting a bikini wax, I went in with my younger godsisters, one who was getting a fill in and three others watching. It was Midtown Nails off of Ponce in the Whole Foods plaza. It looked clean, they all spoke very clear English and I said…hey why not. It’s not anyone will be seeing it for a while so if she messes up it’ll be a private matter. I felt like I was in a really bad but funny comedies- all I was missing was Owen Wilson or that guy from 40 Year Old Virgin, Asian wax artist included. It honestly didn’t hurt as much as it was invasive and blushworthy. When she told me to drop my the entire bottom half of my outfit (panties included) – I knew I was in big trouble. She offered a pair of disposable pair of undies to make me feel a little less out there but I soon found out that there wasn’t much coverage from them either. I was shocked that this personal of a service was offered for the extremely low price of "$22.00". I could tell she was very experienced with waxing as she went down there with no holds bar. I was so shocked, she was very thorough though. Even through all of the embarrassment, it honestly looks and feels great even though she got a little wax happy and left me with something in between a Bikini Wax and a Brazilian. What would you call that, a Brazini Wax?
2007 came and went so quickly. It has truly been an awesome year in so many ways. It was definitely The Year of Yasmine Part Deux. Since I’m the number #8, my expected graduation date is May 2008 and my birthday is in the 8th month I feel it’s only natural that 2008 will be another stellar year- The Year of Yasmine Part Trois. The only thing that scares me about good times is that where there is a mountain top there is also a valley somewhere really close. I’m nervous to think about whatever negative might happen. My only goals for 08’ is to graduate on time, get a good start with my career, and make my way back out to California!
Habari Gani Everyone and Happy New Year!


Now Playing: Break My Heart- Common

A Sentimental Mood

I'm not sure if it has anything to do with my new found appreciation for Smooth Jazz and listening to the rain but I have been in a very sentimental mood. So, to tie it in with the blog I decided to go back a little and revisit my top 8 favorite posts (in no particular order- get your clickers ready!). 

8. "Coming Out"  I love this post so much because it really was a postmark in my life and showed me so much about myself, being honest with myself and my feelings yet having to put 'me' aside and accept a friend. Now while this guy actually "defriended" me about 2 months ago over some nonsense, (i just chuck up to him going through alot and not knowing how and where to channel his emotions) he still taught me so much and I love him dearly.

7. "Motherhood, Marriage, and The Racial Divide"  This takes me back to my more journalistic approach. I felt this post had some hardcore principles of journalism action going on plus some very bold statements made that I still feel like have some credence. 

6. "Ujima" I love telling stories (true ones) and this one tops mosts. It was a crazy night where I bonded with some ladies who I still know and always share this night with. Just read ...

5. "The Reason Why I Hustle" This posts marks a landmark in my rise. Interviewing Chris Robinson was still one of my favorite moments to date. I was so happy to share it with my favorite magazine diva, Charreah too! Thanks for the invite :)

4. "The Industry"  I love the industry, it brings the most colorful characters out and gives fuel to some of my funniest moments. This post was a mix of storytelling and introspective spoken thoughts. 

3."Over It" I know I'm always talking about relationships and how people can't ever seem to get it together, well get together for that matter but I feel as though this posts goes into more of the real reason why as opposed to just venting. 

2. "It Can't Always be R-A-I-N-B-O-W-S" You can't win them all...you just can't and I'm living proof. Ce la vie. 

1. "Vulnerability" As much as I hate to revisit my bloody posts of the far past, there's something about the first time your fingertip hits the keypad to expose your thoughts, feelings, and ideas to the public. I used to be an emotional writer and while I feel as though my posts still carry a sense of passion I used to let my feelings bleed on the page. Not always a good look but I'm growing..

Hope you read, enjoy, comment and maybe learn something new about me or even you. 

Here's one more just for comedy's sake "My Theories of Late on Why Fighting In The Club Increases Your Star Power"

Now Playing: In a Sentimenal Mood - John Coltrane (of couse...)

Seven Down ...One To Go (prayerfully)

I just knocked out two finals (both from 10:00am-12:00pm) in French and Principles of Reasoning plus a Final project in Textiles. This past weekend I did nothing but study, eat, poop, sleep, shower, study, eat, poop, and study some more. I feel great because I know I did well in both exams even though I had added pressure from my Principles of Reasoning Professor to "work hard on the final" meaning this is do or die. So I did.  I have one more semester left and it is more pressure than ever. As of right now I'm enrolled in 18 credits and I know I have to add at least one more class which makes that 21 credit hours. I'm really going to have to push it to the limit in this last leg of the race. Go until I can't go anymore...

I am terrified.

Now Playing: A Soulful Christmas 

The Power Hour

We would've been happy with just one hour of uninterrupted mischievous fun. A senior prank of sorts- a midnight party in the Blackburn Ballroom. The audio equipment was being set up, people were steadily arriving, and the lights were being adjusted. Then the pigs came, well the guinea pigs anyway...campus police. The silent killer of the party that could've been. This is what college is all about...this and actually getting your degree. 

Now Watching: Waiting to Exhale

It's 4am, I'm Just Getting Home-Tonight Was a Good Night

So, I've changed my mojo. I was on this grand quest for love and what was true in life but after assessing all that my surroundings has to offer I've realized that what I want may just have to wait but I can definitely keep myself occupied until that time comes. I mean you're only young, fly, and good looking once right? (after that you become older, fly and goodlooking ;) Anyway, my girls and I decided that tonight was a good night to celebrate our youth and seek new additions to our Little Black Books. On a mission we were!

It started at my bgf, Mike's house, he was the host house for a recent HU Law grad's going away party. To say the very least we were entirely overdressed! It was 11pm and we were in our FREAKUM OUT dresses and they were in jeans, hoodies, and few women had on high heel boots. Not to mention that we only knew my friend and his three other friends. It was soooo awkward. After being stared down by the law students, we...well I, got a rum and coke and bounced. None of them were cute anyway ...pshhhh.

So it was a slow start for sure but once we found ourselves at Jin Lounge on 14th and U it was all uphill from there. We were actually on our way to Tabaq on U St. but passed Jin on the way and the bouncer looked at us and said "hey ladies, you all should check us out...Free cover." In we were, it was cold and Jin seemed to warm and inviting. Upon entering we were welcomed by man who looked like some odd blend of Keith Sweat and Johnny Gill and my, my, my did he dance?! I mean it was 'dance fever' (ode to The Wood) in there!!!! I've never seen grown ass men dance so hard. It was like they took 1989 right out of their back pocket with the integrity of each dance move in tact- some of which I had never even seen before. 

There we encountered half of HU Med students and HU Engineer Alumn. It was great...quality men, though sometimes a bit corny, were sincere and weren't overly concerned with trying to holler. It was great. We were the belles of the ball in there. Men actually asked you to dance as opposed to accosting you from blindly from behind. It was so refreshing. 

We definitely plan on taking another trip to Friday Nights at Jin Lounge, especially since my DJ Coach, DJ Premonition, is the standing DJ every Friday. I loved it...(they also have an impressive martini menu- loved the Drink Pink)

After an hour or two we left and went to ever open Diner in Adams Morgan. Anyone who knows DC knows that you cant end a perfect club night Uptown without finishing it at The Diner. Where we met Morehouse Alum, the newest member of the Adrian Fenty staff, and a Loan Dealer (not so sure about that one...) I wonder what made us magnets tonight? Was it the confidence? (I thought I always exuded that) Or was it that we really just didn't care - one way or another? 

Now Playing: I Like- Guy

Home Is Where The Heart Is 

So I went home for the Thanksgiving Holiday and I got a big dose of reality. It's something so humbling about going home, no one treating you any different because of your accomplishments, your mom making you go to the grocery store and cooking

 dinner when all you want to do is go to Little 5 

Points...Having to watch and entertain your younger family members...taking your sister and cousin to see Chris Brown in This Christmas even though the movie sucked ass and you were really trying to get up with your "at hom

e boo".  This Thanksgiving was straight out of Southern Living or some movie, we had everything from Kim's Broccoli and Wild Rice Casserole to my mom's famous Cajun Turkey with shrimp stuffing, Granny's Greens, Dad's Tofurkey and soooo much more. This was the most culinarily (I don't think that's a word but whatev) diverse Thanksgiving ever...we had tofu, turkey, beef, seafood and every side imaginable. My mom made everyone write down what we

 were thankful for and before we had our toast everyone read a card...it was actual very moving. 

Like we do every year, we went to the Bayou Classic in New Orleans. This year was definitely the best yet! Last year, I was running from Delta's down there like the plague and this year I was one! It was

 great...and I'm finally 21 (not like

 that stops most people) but I could do anything and go anywhere. Having a legal i.d. is like a license to kill and I definitely did that. Daiquiris

...Hand Grenades...Red Headed Sluts (shouts out to JP!) ....I loved every second of this break! I love my family, my sorority sisters, and my friends! 

Now Reading: Hung by Scott Poulson-Bryant

Reminiscent of KP and Envy back in the day...or maybe The Ghostown Djs

Hilarious. That's all I have to say...

Crash & Burn

...that's what I think of the welfare of all relationships formulated on Howard's campus have amounted to. Sure, there's the occasional one or two steady relationships that were born in Locke and bread with lunchdates in Blackburn but really people aren't trying to settle down. I remember coming up through the years and noticing as upperclassmen became seniors, they began to couple up- that is certainly not the case with the class 2008/2008.5. Last night my friends and I could barely come up with 1 couple in a serious relationship in our class. We managed to list about 3 pairs but they were all people who were relatively low key. There is no one on the Howard "scene" who's commited to just one person. There are a few that juggle a few different relationships and then some who will deny till' they die that they even are involved with anyone. I really don't understand this mentality, maybe I'm strange fruit or cut from different cloth but I just don't get how people go on with all of these fruitless relationships. I wonder which ones of us will be the one to say, "oh yes, me and ________ met at Howard and ended up getting married." I'm not salty, I promise, I just am curious to know where has the sincerity gone?

In other news, since I have no love life of which to speak - I have thrown myself into my career (or building one for myself anyway). Please check out my new Myspace page... http://www.myspace.com/yasmineharema

Now Playing: anything J*Davey

I'm so over it...No, really I'm too through. Men and women play so many games whether they want to/realize it or not...and for what? NOTHING is the answer. I just got home from Lucky Strike and I felt like I was alone in a huge crowd of people, not because no one was talking to me but I just alone in how I was feeling. It seemed like the whole bar was on some other stuff. There was this whole game where the women were talking to wack/corny/generally substandard men just because they were buying from the bar. I guess I'm not really up for suffering through pointless conversation just for a Blue Razz or Lucky Lemonade. Is it just me? I don't like giving out my number unless I really want to hear from the guy and I don't give fake numbers because I feel like that's childish. The whole mingling scene is dumb to me. Unless I really see something that sparks my interest then I really don't care to exchange numbers or get to know a person. This might sound strange but I really don't like meeting new people. It's just very awkward and you don't know anything about them, where they're coming from, who they are- they're essentially a stranger.
It's not just in the bar/club scene where these mindless games are played, it happens in relationships too. I'm currently in the talking/negotiating phase of a relationship with this one guy...oh you don't know what that phase is? It's basically when you're mutually feeling one another but aren't quite exclusive but you're establishing your terms of agreement. Anyway, in relationships people still play games even when they say they aren't. You want to call but you don't because the last two times you called so now you want him to...Or he texts you more than he calls so you stop answering his texts so he'll call more. You date other bullshit guys because you don't want to put all your eggs in one basket even though you know he's the only guy really worth your time. All these silly juvenile games we play for what? So we don't get played.
Everyone's so afraid of being rejected that we hinder ourselves from truly loving and living. We're always afraid of liking someone more than they like us. We edit our true feelings until God knows when...Can someone please tell me when the walls come down? When is it okay to say what you completely feel? At this rate I don't see how anyone's getting married. It's so many smoke and mirrors in this thing called dating. I thought things would be simple if I sat back and let a man pursue me but so many guys are addicted to the chase that you can never really care for them in return without them becoming disinterested. I've had multiple guy friends tell me that they love it when a girl plays hard to get and then when she eventually comes around he's done with her and on the the next. Aint that a mess? How does that work?
It's really frustrating and disheartening.

Now Playing: This Ain't Me -B.Hines

The Meltdown:
Homecoming is finally over and it's all down here from here. I register for my classes for next semester on Monday. I'm scared to say the least, partly of failing but mostly of passing and being forced into the real world. I'm currently on a campaign to find a job- shaking hands and kissing babies- it ain't no joke! The fashion show was HAUTE to say the least. The designers were amazing and the models were gorgeous. We featured Project Runway's Mychael Knight (www.mychaelknight.com), Chargrels Couture (www.chargrels.com), Aquaponi (www.aquaponi.com), and the bold and beautifully ecletic Janelle Monae (www.janellemonae.com). The Hilltop's grade was definitely poorly stated especially since most of them didn't even attend the show and in case they were going off of their staff writers article they're still in bad shape since her story obviously wasn't edited one bit. Each year I do something new with my hair, whether cut or color, this year I fell into black. I know I'm not the first to do it, but it looks damn good. I've never had dark hair before but I love it and it's perfect for the season. It's interesting how hair color can give you a completely different image. In other news I just got a brand spanking new Mac Book Pro with the 15'4'' monitor! I'm so excited to finally have the computer of my heart's desire.

It's Been a Long Time - I Shouldn't Have Left You....

So, school is going great. My grades/classes/social life is great. I just haven't had the energy nor time to write. I know some bloggers make it a daily task but I never want writing to become a 'task' to me so I just write when my spirit moves me to. The fashion show is two days away...I'm so excited about it and nervous all in one. There are some stellar people coming up from Atlanta like the Aquaponi girls, Janelle Monae, and Mychael Knight! Everyone asks if I'll do another Atlanta scene like I did last year and I answer, "no" because that was a one time thing but I will always pay homage to my hometown through the talents in which I scout. Can I just say how nervous I am...I don't know why I am just a ball of nerves. I feel like the show is going to be the shit no doubt but I just want it to be extraordinary.

Okay, I've got to go now, but I'll be back shortly (forreal this time) and give you all updates on how everything went.

Now Playing: Holdn' Back - Marques Houston feat. Mya and Shawnna

PS: How do you get a guy to kiss you?