Sunday, September 24, 2006

It is the most peculiar sensation, sitting right across from someone and feeling like you are on opposites sides of the universe. Being so close and feeling so far away. You can only experience this with someone with whom you were once emotionally close to and later for whatever reason there is some distance. How can you see someone every single day and feel like you grow further and further more apart as each day passes? I tell you it is a very strange thing.
While I wholeheartedly understand that eventually the newness of any relationship wears off, it is interesting that a friendship can go from growing leaps and bounds to being so stagnant and having the growth of that same very friendship seemingly hault all toghether.
Nothing even has to be said. Female intuition can tell everything, a woman...a real woman who's real with herself..., knows when something has changed.
I truly believe our friendship has been lost in the crowd. What began as 2 has grown into 12, and I'm think it's beginning to take a toll. Never did I ever think they'd know more about us than we do...Isn't it funny how things change?
The person I thought I knew so well, I really know little about. I'm not sure if that was really you in the beginning and you've know changed into something I don't like or if this is really you and nothing you were saying and doing was really true. We're all constantly growing and evolving, I just hope you're evolving into someone I don't like. I had high hopes.

Or maybe I'm just tripping and it's really THE growing pains everyone keeps talking about.

Now Playing: Moving Cool (The Afterparty)- Outkast feat. Joi

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Since I Have Some Time To Spare
Okay, it's official...ya' girl has hit it big time!
People left and right have been telling me they heard MY NAME on the radio (thanks Dom!). Tickets have just gone on sale for my first show and I'm too excited now. My vision is really coming to life. My mother just bought 20 tickets (well, she really only bought 10...I gave her the other half) to my first show JUST so that all of my family and friends could be there from DC and Atlanta. I've got my models...the designers are all falling in line...and I just feel like something good is just around the corner. If you've been around me for the past 5 months or so, you know that I have not been overly excited about the fashion show...not that I wasn't happy that I was blessed with the opportunity but I was knee deep in mud and deadlines...don't get me wrong...I still am knee deep in mud and deadlines except for now I can see the other side of the river, the light at the end of the tunnel, the show in a mere 29 days.
To see people lined up just to buy tickets to MY production almost had me in tears, I feel so humbled and for the most part have forgotten that3,000 people will be there to witness MY brainchild. The concepts and ideas that I wrote and thought out and rewrote again. It's a crazy thing.
Twisted: A Midsummer Night's Dream
2006 Howard University Homecoming Fashion Show
Fashion Show I & II
October 12, 2006
7:00, 10:00pm

Monday, September 04, 2006

Back By Popular Demand....

I told myself I'd make it to bed by midnight. It's now 11:31pm....I have 29...welp, take that back 28 minutes to make this entry happen. I start my first REAL day of school tomorrow. I know...I know the first official day of school was August 28th but I had my 20th birthday party the night before and missed most of my classes on the first day which set the tone for the rest of my week and also made me realize how bad I needed to drop my 8am Slimnastics II class. Between my late night dinners in the newly built luxury student apartments University Town Center and model calls and cuts it seems as if going to class has been an afterthought. I think it was my own personal protest, my way of sticking it to "the man" for cutting my summer short. But I've put my pickett signs away and got my pens and notepads ready...4.0GPA is my goal!
So, it turns out I've become somewhat of a local celebrity around these hollowed halls of Howard U. Which is actually really weird/interesting/ironic and I guess slightly cool seeing as how I'm the biggest loser I know. I've tried out for just about every notable organization on campus (I won't name any names...don't even try it NOSEY!) and been a big REJECT for most of them. One I went out for more than once and was denied both times! If it weren't for The Hilltop and The Homecoming Steering Committee, I think I would have probably felt like a failure. They were the ONLY two organizations on campus who gave me a chance. I'd like to believe that I was a success at good ole' H Psi Phi (my Hilltop Heads know what that is) being that I was Staff Writer of The Year (eternally waiting on my plaque) and so far I think I've done a good job with HUHSC though the verdict's still out since the fashion show hasn't happened yet.
17 minutes to go...
We had the model call last week, it went pretty well I believe...the selections were soooooooooo extremely painstaking. I said "no" to a lot of people who I really love not only as people but as models. I've been getting countless facebook messages from friends and acquintances asking why they weren't selected, what they could have done better, and who got picked because they know "so many good people who didn't make it". Honestly, it's like that each and every year, I guess I should have known there would be some who would question my judgement but you never know how it feels until it happens to you. But just so inquiring minds know...Twisted: A Midsummer's Night Dream is going to be HOT like no other and my models are going to be AWESOME.
Another thing I've learned from working on such a gigantic production is people do not really care about you as a person. Everyone just wants to get a piece for themselves. If I'm short with someone or am obviously stressed they automatically get offended and choose to tell me about myself as opposed to taking into consideration all that I am going through not to mention that I get told about myself each and every Saturday morning at 10am sharp! So if you're reading this and I've seemingly gotten an "attitude" with you please know it's not really at you...I'm just busy, stressed, and anticipating October 12.
8 minutes to go....
My personal life has completely been shattered by everything that's going on.
Things I thought were there aren't, friends I thought would step up to the plate haven't, commitments that haven't been committed, and while I'm always on the scene a bit of me always feels alone. It's weird because there is nothing anyone can do to change that. Even when I know someone is making an effort to include me, which most times they do, I still feel alone. Have you ever thought about that? Do you feel like a solo soul that is ocassional joined by another or do you feel as though you're always with others? I definitely feel like I'm alone even amongst hundreds of people. I don't really know why or if it's necessarily a bad thing. I just understand we all have our own lives, own agendas, and own goals.
4 minutes...
Okay, so I hope my loyal readers feel their thirst has been quenched. Sorry I haven't written in a while but life has been happening so fast I have hardly had a second to breath. No worries though, I'll be back if no sooner then I will later...if not later I will...eventually.

Now Playing: "What Is This" Scar feat. Cee-lo