Wednesday, May 24, 2006

My Thoughts As of Late on ...Babies, Loving my Mama, the White, and Black, Trash that Middle America Has Become and other "Randyme Thoughts"

Someone please tell pregnancy in the water? I'm just about afraid to drink the water, scared some sperm might slide down my throat and somehow fertilize the eggs in my ovaries.
Thank God that's biologically impossible -but I tell you, the way the people around me have been making babies..well, it's enough for anyone to pause for the cause. While I have the upmost respect for my friends who have conceived and chosen to handle their responsibilities like the women they are and God has called them to be, I believe all sexually active peoples need to consider contraceptive methods. Birth control these days couldn't get any easier...the patch, the pill, the shot, I heard about some birth control Kool-aide the other day (not really, but you see where I'm going). HELLOOOOO...where are my responsible people at? Can anyone say "CONDOM IN THE HOUSE!"???Sure, there could be a lot of factors as to why someone gets pregnant but it is ultimately the fault of the participating parties.
I love kids. In high school I was a star baby-sitter and I know some day I'll have 2.5 children of my own. But for now, the best thing I can do for my baby(ies) is getting my degree and acquiring some wealth before they get here so that they can have all that I was so fortunate to have and more. Guys, we are selling our children short by having them so early! True, 20..21..22 is no little girl but it isn't an established woman either. Okay...enough of my lecture on college kids and babies.
Lately, I've been really loving my mama. Though I was much more dependent on her as a child, now that I've grown up a little I cherish her so much more. Don't nobody (bad english and all) got my back like my mama do! She's my perfect match, made just for me (well, me and my two brothers) and I love her so much!
Deaquanisha, Shamonique, Lashaunika...just a few of the names that I witnessed while watching what seemed to be endless hours of talk shows where women were on a constant search for their baby's daddy, judge shows where the gift versus loan is forever plauging some silly girl, and melodramatic soap operas for people who have no lives of their own (don't nobody die and come back to life!). Is this the type of programming middle America really wants to see? Apparently, and unfortunately, I believe the answer is "yes." Americans really are trashy...or at least they like trashy t.v. ...Seeing Lil' Quan-quan and Carlos fighting over who the big secret ("you know I love you, ..right?") and over Bill and Jo's trailor home being seized by their landlord is what America seems to have on high demand. People want to be able to see those who are worse off, laugh and scoff, judge other's misfortunes inorder to escape their own personal hells.
About other are sorta' like shoes...basically the same you just have to find the quality, style, and fit right for you. Tyra is all about Tyra in the very end and that new Top Model "sholl' is kuntray". Oprah is freaking amazing and that Legend's Ball was spectacualar but where was Beyonce'? If assed out Ashanti and brokedown Brandy (whose now endorsing a line of hair weaves) were invited how come Bouncy couldn't make it? When Oprah should go running...I don't care what you're doing. Juelz Santana is super cute and honestly...I'm not crazy about about either of America's idols...Are all the new songs sounding a whole lot like the old ones? ...Cobalt Blue is the new Hot Pink...and the music playing in my head is really good.

Now Playing: Sky is the Limit- Notorious B.I.G.

Monday, May 08, 2006

The Mrs. Degree
(My Final Article for Journalism, it won't be published but I felt it was too good not to post)
By Yasmine*

Today’s modern woman has seemingly earned every degree obtainable- the B.A., D.D.S., Ph.D., C.P.A., and her MBA, the only degree these power women seem to be missing is her M.R.S. While nearly all women on a mission have a hard time making it down the aisle, it seems as if professional black women have felt the aftershock of financial success even more.
To troubleshoot this travesty, some college-aged women are not only focusing on their professional goals but their personal ones as well. Whether it’s going to college to find Mr. Right or being encouraged to do so by family, this new breed of female professionals seem to be taking a cue from their future bosses and locking down their spouse while the picking’s good.
These college co-eds may be concerned for good reason, the marriage rate for African Americans has been dropping since the 1960s. Today, blacks have the lowest marriage rate of any racial group in the United States. In 2001, 43.3 percent of black men and 41.9 percent of black women in America had never been married, in contrast to 27.4 percent and 20.7 percent respectively for whites, according to the U.S. Census. African American women are the least likely in society to marry.
With odds against them, some young black women aren’t taking any chances when it comes to saying "I do" and looking for Mr. Right while in college setting."They kind of pound it into your head once you step foot on campus that the Spelman woman isn’t complete until you find your Morehouse man," said Lauren Stokes, a Spelman College alumna and graduate student. "Some girls come looking for a man. there are a lot of influences around you like professors whose wives or husbands went to Spelman or Morehouse, t-shirts, it all kind of completes the fairy tale." Stokes went on to say, "When I tell people my boyfriend went to Morehouse, they always say ‘aww.’ I know a lot of people who try to hold on to the relationship after college even if its not working, because of the ‘Spelhouse’ connection."
Spelman women aren’t the only ones looking for their perfect man, even if he doesn’t come from Morehouse.
"If I felt like I was in a relationship with ‘Mr. Right’ now, I’d get married now," said Shakuwra Norwood, a junior psychology major at Georgia State University. "I’m still looking for my dream man, someone older, wiser, and richer to sweep me off my feet. All my family and friends encourage me to find that special one because they feel like college is a best place to meet people."
Norwood’s family may not be too far off, Atlanta marriage counselor, Jackie Williams, Ph.D., agrees.
"While in college, young women are exposed to a larger number of educated men than they are outside of college. If you’re college educated and looking for someone suitable for a long-term relationship, college is an ideal place to find that person." However, Williams does not feel like anyone should go to college for the sole purpose of finding a spouse.
"I don’t think you go to college to find a husband, going to college is about getting your degree and seeking a career. It’s difficult to be married in college, especially for a traditional student. An ideal situation would be to graduate from college, start a career, and then focus on a marriage. Although how ready someone is for marriage depends on the specific individual."
While few students may be ready for marriage while they’re still an undergraduate, many marry soon after. This was the case for Wendy Sherman, a 48-year-old medical supply buyer in Washington, D.C.
"I married Michael at 23 years old, right after I graduated from Hampton. We started dating at the end of my freshman year and continued throughout college."
Though Sherman married her college love right after graduation, she doesn’t advise others to do the same.
"Though we’re celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary and are happy, if I had it to do over I would have waited a little longer. I didn’t make the best career choices because I was married. Men mature later than women. Even though I was a younger person than him, I was more mature."
Sherman was never openly advised by her parents to seek a mate, however, some college students are being encouraged to find "The One".
"‘You won’t find him at a bar or a party, Jennifer,’ my mother tells me that all the time" said Jennifer Stowe, a sophomore political science and art history double major at Howard University. "My momma told me it’s not necessary to look for him everyday but I do need to keep an eye out because this is the only place where I’ll have this many young, black successful men concentrated in one place."
While the world seems to be obsessed with marriage and afraid of the alleged shortage of eligible black men, not everyone is concerned.
"I’ve never been advised to find my husband in undergrad, in fact my mother has advised against it," said Claire Kendall, a sophomore Howard University biology major. "I don’t feel like this is my only pool of suitable mates. Once I become a doctor I’ll be around the same caliber and level of other professionals. I’m not looking for anyone to marry right now."
With Black marriages at an all time low, it may not be a bad idea to look out for that special someone while being surrounded by myriads of potential mates. The trouble however is when people rush and take what they can get just to avoid not ever being married. Though walking down the aisle is important, its even more important to have a solid foundation for a marriage filled with love, trust, honesty, and like values.
Now Playing: I want the title- Ciara
Give Me Feedback People!

Thursday, May 04, 2006

The Industry

I've never seen so many botoxed babes, see through dresses on asian mail order brides, or hard as steel silicon breasts. Tonight I worked The Collections at Chevy Chase's Grand Opening in association with Capitol File luxury magazine. (THANKS ALEX!) I worked directely under a guy named Anton (an-ten) Papich (pah-peach) who had a really interesting short gray hairstyle that was all combed up to the middle of his head and a lady by the name of Paschal (pas-scale) who looked like she's learned how to do her eye makeup at clown school and use crayons and paint instead of eye shadow and mascara. The models ranged from overgrown high school girls to an Alek Wek wanna-be to a breathtaking mommy/model. Though I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off from Jimmy Choo to Ralph Lauren, at this event I truly felt at home, confident, and like I knew what the hell I was doing. Even in my simple black BCBG fit that I've had for God knows how long, I felt confident and like I belonged. I saw so many characters...the funniest though was one girlish guy (yes, a girlish guy) who had on fitted bootcut designer denim, pointed toe boots (with a stilleto if I'm not mistaken), an oversized Cross Colors inspired cardigan with a white leather cinching his ultra slim waste. To top it off his naturally curly coif was smoothed back and secured with a tie back white head band and his baby hairs was perfectly laying around his edges. Plus he had on white framed, dark lensed, SUNglasses on (it was night time), I HATE WHITE FRAMES...they're cheesy - I don't care who they are on , they always look corny and sunglasses inside and at night either means 1. you're blind 2. you're high or're an ass that's waaay too into yourself! While I have friends that participate in this distasteful practice ( I know one girl who won't even take her glasses off in class ), I always always always advise against it! One of the girls I worked with, Sarai, was an Iranian born Swedish girl. Though very petite and meek looking she had very strong opinions, was a jealous little something, and could swing those drinks back like a 22 year old white boy. She had come to The States for a few months (how very Euro) to visit her cousin, she'd been an au pair to a 9 year old "deamon spawn" in France, and lived in London for a few months. Ultra cool...
While at this event I really tried to practice looking people in their eyes. I know that sounds weird but someone once told me that I didn't do it, while I was never conscious of it and couldn't tell you why I did it -I don't want anyone to think that I don't think that I'm the shit! I realized it's kind of hard to look every single person in their eyes, there's so many distractions ...the surroundings, thoughts (especially embarassing ones), and maybe something about the other person could make it hard to look them in their eyes. It seems so intrusive, invasive, it's like personal space...hmm. Well, that's all I guess.

Now Playing: Steppin' Out- Kaskade