Wednesday, December 24, 2008

On The Chat Line

Merry Christmas party people! I can't say that I'm truly in the "Christmas" spirit - we could actually skip all the shenanigans if it were up to me. I'm just not feeling it this year.  Everything just feels depres...ahem, recessed. LOL.  Anyway, that's not really want I wanted to write about.
Is meeting people on the internet still taboo? After much complaining about the male selection I've been coming across in the Atlanta nightlife scene (Luckie, Ten Pin, Pure, Body Tap lol, etc) my friend told me how she randomly finds dates on the internet. From Blackplanet, Black, MySpace, and even Craigslist she's gone off descriptions and photos to determine whether she wanted to talk on the phone then eventually meet in a mall foodcourt. 
Is it me or does that seem so retro? Blackplanet was/is definitely one of the forefathers of  the socially addictive phenom, Facebook.  Either way she convinced me that I should start up a page and just "get out there" and explore. Wouldn't exploring entail being home more so I can check my Notes and Page Log?  Moving on, I decided "why not?" I signed up, created a cute and sophisticated screen name "BeholdaLady8" (of course..), added a picture, and then immediately felt the urge to erase  the page and felt a bit of embarassment. "What am I doing on this site anyway?" is what I asked myself.  "I have guys I could talk to. Even if they annoy me to pieces- at least I met them at school or at the mall or something respectable." As of yet, I have still not erased the page so if you are on there too please friend me I only have four! I have gotten other friend requests but a lot of the people on there seem crazier than the guys I'm meeting at Luckie Lounge on Wednesday nights! From crazy screen names like "KngDckSlanga" and "ThugLuv69" to the men over 30 trying to holler. It's a mess! I don't do older older guys- I'm only 22 what do we could we have in common??? I'm not interested! 
I have another friend who received a random friend request on Facebook from an attractive stranger and decided to accept since they knew a few of the same people. To make a long story short Facebook messages turned to Facebook chat and then to telephone conversations, him breaking up with his girlfriend and them establishing rules for their engagement. Now he's her phone's screensaver and she's "got a man".  As happy as she seems to be with her new beau when you ask how they met she just says "it's a long story" and doesn't want to say "on Facebook". Why is that? 
With the uprising of  sites like and E-Harmony why are people still ashamed of meeting new potential dates online? While almost everyone does it in some way (friending cute strangers on Facebook) or setting up accounts on social networks - no one really seems to be okay with talking about it. I believe that there seems to be a sense of desperation attached to this form of dating which is not necessarily true. The fact is that we can't all be desperate... or are we? If we are, at least we're all in it together! 
While I did bring Blackplanet up from the grave I've been on a campaign to being open to meeting people anywhere. My hotspots are ALWAYS the hoods though! Old National Hwy, the ashy part before you get to my classy hood, is always filled with suped up old school cars and tons of Dodge Chargers (the hoodest car out right now!) and also tons of men that are trying to holler at the CaramelCutie in the silver coupe with the DST tag. I get honks, request to pull over, guys rolling down their windows at stop lights anything! I also do well in the SWATS (Southwest Atlanta for those who don't know) - I don't know what it is. So far my campaign has been going well I've met someone at a holiday party, a night out with friends, a gas station, Old National, and at a store. It's funny I've given my number to a few but I have absolutely NO interest in really talking to anyone. Even though they all have been generally attractive there's nothing in me that really wants to spend time getting to know people. LOL. Funny right?  I guess that's why I haven't found anyone!!!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Let's Chill

...actually, LET'S NOT! Not in your house anyway. What is up with this guys? When did dating consist of constantly coming to your house and watching random dvds as you consistently get denied physical advancement? GET THE HINT STUPID! Forgive me readers, I'm really annoyed right now (as if you couldn't tell) but some men really don't get it. I have always been in the school of thought that if a man can only hang out with you in his house then he's just not that into you or he's just trying to get into you. Now, I'm hanging out with a certain guy who I've known for sometime but have never been available to until now. However, he has it all confused. If you like me, like you say you do then take my word for when I say- you're apartment won't do! (No matter how stunning the view is!) What happened to the simple things- dinner...movies...hookah? Is it really that difficult? I've already been up front- we're not going there. I'm celibate and I have no intentions of discontinuing that until I am with someone who is worth my energy. I can't say all guys have this issue, recently I went on a cool date to Apache Cafe here in Atlanta and listened to live music and enjoyed the open mic. I'm not saying you need to treat me to Ruth Chris and the Atlanta Ballet every evening but show a little initiative (though I do love the finer things). Have some pride- your apartment barely has furniture! I know it's cuddling weather but really you don't even know me like that partner!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Once a Cheat, Always a Cheat...

...right? I for one believe so but hope not. If so, we're all doomed!!! In the span of 3 days I've heard numerous horror stories how of men have betrayed the trust [and satisfied the suspicsion for some] of their significant others with infidelity. One has had two year bicoastal affair for , one cheated with his so called "best friend", and another simply cheated habitually without regard. When I asked one of my friends why he cheated on his girlfriend he replied, "I was just going through things" - what kind of things would make you cheat? One guy I dated admitted to me after 5 months of casually dating that he had a the middle of trying to get with me. How could you go that long without saying something? Without her saying something? He and I were not serious but we were involved and it made me furious because I pride myself on not coming in between anyone's relationship. When I reacted to his confession he replied, "you act like I'm married." That's a statement I feel a lot of men agree with. That if you're not married then cheating is non existant or it's not a big deal. My definition of cheating is defying anything that goes outside of the parameters of the your established relationship rules. When I sit and think about all the men that have ever cheated - I feel an amazing gape in my cardiovascular cavity. Almost every man has done it- known and unknown. From Presidents like John F. Kennedy and Bill Clinton to civil saints like Martin Luther King Jr and modern day dieties like the Honorable Elijah Muhammad. It's truly sickening and disheartening to believe that fidelty cannot be achieved.
I'm at a point in my life where I allow people to be who they are, stay in their lane, and to place themselves where they should be in my life. If you're friend is selfish and never likes to go out but loves to have potlucks and sleepovers- stop inviting that friend to go to the club with you all the time, don't call her unless you feel like picking her up and not getting any gas money for going 30 minutes out of your way. Sure, that's extreme but know who you're dealing with and don't expect people to change just because you find faults with them. Let people be who they are and there will be a lot less stress in your life- I promise. Not to say you have to deal with their character flaws but just accept the fact that they have them. That new found revelation has led me to believe that 98% of the time if a man cheats once he'll cheat again not necessarily because he doesn't love you but because he is simply a cheater.
PS: not to make light of my sentiments but I included a snippet of the ever humorous t.v. show Cheaters

Now Playing: Something You Forgot - Lil Wayne