Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Have you ever come to the realization that you did everything humanly possible WRONG?
When you were supposed to go left, you went right. You should have gone up... for some reason, you went down. Free spirited, non-restrictive, not calculating, I was jealous, possesive, and fault finding! I have come to the realization that with this one Sagittarius, whom I once adored so much, that I, perfection-seeking Yasmine, was that incredulous "fuck up".
Astrologically...I'm on the cusp of Leo and Virgo. While I've never really read too deep into zodiac signs, for mostly religious reasons, I notice lots of things that make you go 'hmmm' about astrology and the way the planets align themselves around a certain time of year that make people born the 23ard of one month to the 22 of the next a particular way.
I have really noticed that I will research the heck out of something if I'm into it. When I chose Howard, I knew all the stats, noteable alumi, and even about the area. It has been no different with astrology, I take that back it's been no different with learning about Leos, Virgos and Sagittariuses.
Alot of the sites I Googled had compatibility analysis, i.e. "This sign is best with this other sign etc." I found out that half of me (my Virgo half) is completely incompatible with the person who I wanted to be my better half, the father of my off spring, the love of my life. He's a Sag who needs his space and I'm half Virgo, a tidy freedom phobe. Needless to say, the question soon arose, "how true are these things anyway?"
While I indoubtedly saw painstaking resembelences in myself in the myriads of summaries about Leos and Virgos I just couldn't accept the fact that HE may not be the HIM whose last name I eventually take. (Not to mention Sagittariuses have extreme fear of the 'C' word [commitment] and that he's a Sag down to a fault*he's even got it tatooed* on his arm I believe). As I discussed this finding with my no nonsense roomate, I explained it was the Leo in me that attracted him and the Virgo that drove us apart and the Leo that makes him linger. I think I see why astrology is supposedly a 'bad' thing in religous circles... overly obsessive women like me nitpick (a Virginan trait) and take these astrological coincedences for Gospel!
Looking at the disturbing news made me wonder, "can we surpass our astrological fates?" If horoscopes.com says that a person born October 13 and another born March 28 are not good partners does it mean their relationship is doomed from the start?
Sign Quality Triplicity Quadruplicity Ruler
Leo Positive Fire Fixed Sun
Virgo Negative Earth Mutable Mercury
Since Leo and Virgo are polar opposites does this mean that I am damned to be weird and internally contradicted forever?
Does the cosmos have it out for me?
Now Playing: "Signs of Lovemaking" Tyrese
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Things really couldn't be worse in some aspects of my life. I've officially lost my cellphone...it's just disappeared into the atmosphere along with alot of important numbers. Overslept and missed my economics final this morning. My father is getting sicker by the day it seems with his Multiple Sclerosis *the disease Richard Pryor just died from*. And I don't get to go home until the 22and of December for Christmas where I'll then have to turn right back around and come to DC to start back at school.
These are allllll the things I could complain about...but for some odd reason, I'm not upset. I'm not in pain, I am completely OKAY with it all. Its sooo weird that even when things seem to fall apart around me ...I am still WHOLE.
I can get a new cell phone and the numbers can be regained almost effortlessly. I will beg and plead to take my final. My father is STILL LIVING. Plus, I'm actually going home for Christmas. I learned in Sociology that the easiest way to relieve stress is cognitive restructuring...changing the way you think about something.
I'm no Bible thumper and my relationship with God can always improve but I know in His Word it says, "do all things without complaining". Thats what I plan to do because even when things seem like they can't get worse I am reminded by His Spirit that I am blessed. I don't have a want in the world, I am provided for, and life only gets better from here. You can't appreciate the sunshine if you never get rain. So I guess what I'm saying is RAIN! I can take it! I know that I am loved, I can take it. It seems as if the times when things seem to be at their breaking point is when I feel the love of God the strongest.
My mother is really beginning to get technologically saavy, which is a blessing and a curse, and her latest thing is "the e-mail"(though she doesn't know how to take the Cap Lock off). She will email me before she calls, which is hilarious. So tonight as I called her to break the news about my 2and lost phone within 3 months this is the email she sent me...
YASMINE, I CALLED AND E- MAILED TO CINGULAR TO REPORT YOUR LOST PHONE . TOMORROW CALL THE CUSTOMER SERVICE TO ARRANGE FOR A REPLACEMENT.THERE WILL BE A FEE INVOLED BECAUSE OF TWO PREVIOUS MISSING PHONE ASSSOCIATED WITH THIS ACCOUNT. THE HOUSE PHONE IS OUT OF ORDER AND I AM WAITING ON BELL SOUTH TO COME AND FIX THAT ISSUE SO YOU WIIL ONLY BE ABLE TO REACH ME BY CELL OR E- MAIL. YOUR DAD IS ALSO SICK THE VISITIHG NURSE WILL BE HERE TOMORROW TO START HIM ON HIGH DOSES OF STERIODS AND HOPEFULLY HE WILL RESPOND TO THE TREATMENT HE IS NOW UNABLE TO FEED HIMSELF HAS NO CONTROL OVER HIS BOWELS AND UNABLE TO MOVE HIMSELF.AM HOPING TO OBTAIN A HYDROLIC LIFT TO ASSIST ME IN MOVING HIM PLEASE PASS THIS INFRO. ON TO AUNT WENDY MOMMY HAS MORE LOVE FOR YOU THAN ALL THE STARS IN THE UNIVERSE AND IT RUNS AS DEEP AS THE MOON IS ROUND
The Last Sentence alone let me know that it's alllllllll good.
Now let me go to bed so I can plead for clemency with Howard's economics department early tomorrow morning.
Now Playing: "I told the storm" Greg O'Quin
Sunday, December 11, 2005
I hate school right now, no seriously...I want to vomit when I think about what my GPA might be at the end of the semester. Is it okay for me to be a second year drop out? Why couldn't I just have not gone to college and just traveled the world and lived life on the wild side? Hmmm...I remember why now, I didn't want to be a high class bum. Still...school sucks! In a time when I really need for my grades to be at their best they are quite mediocre. Dang...maybe I can just hookah everyday and drown my woes in flavored tabacco and the gong.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
My Christmas List and more....
2. A digital camera (a nice one!)
3. A MAC giftcard (for at least $50)
4. DVDs for my entertainment system in my dorm
5. Books! (fun ones, serious ones, all kinds)
7. Lingerie (yea i said it)
8. An Internship
9. At least a 3.2 GPA for this semester
11. Turntables (I'm trying to learn to DJ)
12. Jewlery (it don't even have to be Tiffany's ...just something cute)
13. Undying Love
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Tuesday, December 06, 2005
It has come to my attention that there is someone out there reading all of these Randymethoughts. "Yaz, 'insert name here' read(s) your blog and thought it was great!" It seems as if readership has gone up a bit and all I have to say that is, if you love me, I mean really love me then tell me. Leave a comment, tell me your thoughts, every once in a while. While I don't write for others, my thoughts aren't on the world wide web for nothing either, it's nice to know someones out there with an opinion about my ramblings. In conclusion, if anyone's out there, let yourself be known.
Please and Thank You
Friday, December 02, 2005
Thursday, December 01, 2005
PS: that picture is Addyct/Anonymous/HIM ...whatever his alias is today...I'm sure he recognizes his own eye