A Sentimental Mood

I'm not sure if it has anything to do with my new found appreciation for Smooth Jazz and listening to the rain but I have been in a very sentimental mood. So, to tie it in with the blog I decided to go back a little and revisit my top 8 favorite posts (in no particular order- get your clickers ready!). 

8. "Coming Out"  I love this post so much because it really was a postmark in my life and showed me so much about myself, being honest with myself and my feelings yet having to put 'me' aside and accept a friend. Now while this guy actually "defriended" me about 2 months ago over some nonsense, (i just chuck up to him going through alot and not knowing how and where to channel his emotions) he still taught me so much and I love him dearly.

7. "Motherhood, Marriage, and The Racial Divide"  This takes me back to my more journalistic approach. I felt this post had some hardcore principles of journalism action going on plus some very bold statements made that I still feel like have some credence. 

6. "Ujima" I love telling stories (true ones) and this one tops mosts. It was a crazy night where I bonded with some ladies who I still know and always share this night with. Just read ...

5. "The Reason Why I Hustle" This posts marks a landmark in my rise. Interviewing Chris Robinson was still one of my favorite moments to date. I was so happy to share it with my favorite magazine diva, Charreah too! Thanks for the invite :)

4. "The Industry"  I love the industry, it brings the most colorful characters out and gives fuel to some of my funniest moments. This post was a mix of storytelling and introspective spoken thoughts. 

3."Over It" I know I'm always talking about relationships and how people can't ever seem to get it together, well get together for that matter but I feel as though this posts goes into more of the real reason why as opposed to just venting. 

2. "It Can't Always be R-A-I-N-B-O-W-S" You can't win them all...you just can't and I'm living proof. Ce la vie. 

1. "Vulnerability" As much as I hate to revisit my bloody posts of the far past, there's something about the first time your fingertip hits the keypad to expose your thoughts, feelings, and ideas to the public. I used to be an emotional writer and while I feel as though my posts still carry a sense of passion I used to let my feelings bleed on the page. Not always a good look but I'm growing..

Hope you read, enjoy, comment and maybe learn something new about me or even you. 

Here's one more just for comedy's sake "My Theories of Late on Why Fighting In The Club Increases Your Star Power"

Now Playing: In a Sentimenal Mood - John Coltrane (of couse...)

Bearing Your Daily Cross

I've never been uber religious (which used to get me in big trouble at my Christian high school) but I do have a strong sense of who and what God is to me. I definitely believe that everyone has a burden to bear ...a daily cross to wear on your back...your personal protest....what you alone must fight for in your life. I think I have figured mine out. Some kinda' way I got mixed in with the "role model" pile. I was just living my life trying to do my thing and the next thing I know I have godsisters, cousins, and family friends looking to me (.....................................................................excuse me while i help the 3 self-proclaimed "faggies try on our women's Joe's Cigarette cut jeans........................................................................................) as an example of what to do - may it be right or wrong. Growing up I always looked to my mother's bestfriend's daughter, Chante' for all that was cool and worthy in life. Chante' was a lot like me... short, cute, and stylish- she cheered, had great grades, popular, and super lovable. I loved coming to DC and being her miniature sidekick- anything Tae' did I wanted to do too. What I've learned is that I'm now someone else's Chante'. I have my own league of proteges now to help mold into women of purpose. I know this is a really random thing to blog about but I feel a great deal of responsibilty to be a good role model and I definitely think about that on a regular basis. I have come to realize that this is my daily cross to bear. I'm not sure who said this but I definitely agree with them..."I do this for the people."

now playing: prototype- andre 3000

The Trouble with Being Crazy In Love

When we love do we ever evaluate whether we're loving just a little too hard? The massacre at Virginia Tech all stemed from love gone awry. We all need to be much more careful when evaluating those we engage in relationships with, how we treat people, and how we prevent tragedies like this from occuring. While no one is to blame except for Cho Seung-Hui, the killer and ex-boyfriend. "[]Seung-Hui said Monday's massacre on the Virginia Tech campus could have been avoided and said 'you forced me into a corner...You had a hundred billion chances and ways to have avoided today,' Cho said in one of the videos that aired Wednesday night on NBC. 'But you decided to spill my blood. You forced me into a corner and gave me only one option. The decision was yours. Now you have blood on your hands that will never wash off.'"
At what point do we check our own sanity or the sanity of others? When love is strong enough to kill then it's no longer love.
After watching the video of Seung-Hui I really believe his soul was tormented by shame and embarassment and he felt like he had to do what he did. While I'm not making excuses for him - I always did feel sympathy for those constantly picked on and never accepted.We really have to be careful on how we treat people. You never know what might be going on inside. That person you toss off to the side just may be waiting on your careless action to go and kill themselves or better yet 33 other people and then themselves. What happened at Virginia Tech was tragic but how can we each do our part in helping to prevent people from feeling so low that they go and kill innocent people?

Finding My Focus

For the second time in 2007 I went to church. While I no longer make resolutions in the new year, I do create goals for myself. One of my goals is to find a church home here in DC. At home I enjoy and am challenged by the message of Bishop Eddie Long at New Birth Cathedral. Yea, it's one of those black mega churches and that's a controversial subject in itself. HOWEVER, he's always met me where I am in my life and teaches on subject matters pertaining to things that not only apply to me now but guides me to where I want to be not only spiritually but in every aspect of my life. (and for anyone who wants to say he cheats the congregation out of their money...half of them make more than him...it's a BLESSED church)I've been going to church with my Aunt mostly for the past 3 years and I've really only been going because it's the right thing to do. But truthfully, I learned about Daniel and the Lion's Den long ago. It really just really wasn't feeding my spirit. Then I visited my cousin's church that she raves so much about...what's it called? From the Heart or something to that degree. It was okaaay but the minister talked to the simulcast the entire time which was distracting and then when they acknowledged the visitors they sang the cheesiest song I'd ever heard. From the Heart just wasn't in my heart so it was a no go...Then this evening I went to church right on Howard's campus. Something just wasn't right...too much shouting, hooping and hollering and not enough true to life Word. I'm not anti-old school style of church but I don't feel like a 4 hour church service is relevant to my life! Honestly I can't understand the message through all that hoopin' and hollerin'! That's so retro like those churches that are constantly having fish fry's and selling chicken dinners to raise money for a new air condition unit- I simply can't do it! Also, I got the most funny feeling while there...as if all the spirits present weren't quite Holy. The older I get the more of a discerning spirit I have grown. And I'm trusting my gut on this one...The search continues

Now Playing: Jesus On The Mainline (tell Him what you want!)

Since It's Sunday...

I figured I'd do a religious post.I guess a bit silly too, just to start your week off right. Have you ever been in church and been worshiping next to a horrid singer? Were you tempted to laugh or embarassed that their frail notes distracted you soooo much? What's even worse is when the children's choir singer isn't so cute...you should really feel ashamed for laughing at the kids! The worst of all is laughing at the regular choir...I mean, they get your service started off right...go from high to low...praise to worship. So when they pick Keke, who's only allowed to be in choir because she has "such heart", to sing lead the only result can be trecherous...

Striving
just when you think things are returning to normalcy (is that a word?) things seemingly become even more crazy. I thought life was going to return to the everyday once Homecoming was over ...I couldn't be more wrong! My life is such a pyscho-melodramatic soap opera these days filled with random happenings and things you only see in Spike Lee movies. And for once I think I may have more on my plate than I can truly handle...I know that's very dangerous to admit on the internet but between being the Vice-President of University Fashion Council and HU Association of Black Journalist plus mentoring with LADIES, Girl Scouts and working at the boutique ON TOP OF being a student and pursuing other ventures it's beginning to be alot and now that the fashion show is over there is no excuse. So, I think the answer is to quit the job...as much as I LOVE my hair discount I just can't be the employee I pride myself on being with all these other things on my plate. I just don't want to do an injustice to any of my organizations by not being the leader I wanted to be. It's sooo crazy how I have these positions because I truly never ran for any of them they were given to me. And because of that I know God has entrusted me with these responsibilities that I need to do better at fulfilling.
I have to admit that I'm quite a perfectionist but not in the traditional sense of the word. It's more like I try to be perfect and become quite hurt when it comes out that I'm not. It's weird I know. Clearly, I understand that I am not perfect and that perfection is unattainable but when I come face to face with that fact it truly hurts me to the point of tears. Frankly, I don't get it...how can I know that something is unattainable yet hold myself to the standard and be hurt when I don't meet the mark?
I guess I'm just trying to reach my "peak"...

Now Playing: Welcome to the Black Parade- My Chemical Romance

Even when my world is upside down
Things really couldn't be worse in some aspects of my life. I've officially lost my cellphone...it's just disappeared into the atmosphere along with alot of important numbers. Overslept and missed my economics final this morning. My father is getting sicker by the day it seems with his Multiple Sclerosis *the disease Richard Pryor just died from*. And I don't get to go home until the 22and of December for Christmas where I'll then have to turn right back around and come to DC to start back at school.
These are allllll the things I could complain about...but for some odd reason, I'm not upset. I'm not in pain, I am completely OKAY with it all. Its sooo weird that even when things seem to fall apart around me ...I am still WHOLE.
I can get a new cell phone and the numbers can be regained almost effortlessly. I will beg and plead to take my final. My father is STILL LIVING. Plus, I'm actually going home for Christmas. I learned in Sociology that the easiest way to relieve stress is cognitive restructuring...changing the way you think about something.
I'm no Bible thumper and my relationship with God can always improve but I know in His Word it says, "do all things without complaining". Thats what I plan to do because even when things seem like they can't get worse I am reminded by His Spirit that I am blessed. I don't have a want in the world, I am provided for, and life only gets better from here. You can't appreciate the sunshine if you never get rain. So I guess what I'm saying is RAIN! I can take it! I know that I am loved, I can take it. It seems as if the times when things seem to be at their breaking point is when I feel the love of God the strongest.
My mother is really beginning to get technologically saavy, which is a blessing and a curse, and her latest thing is "the e-mail"(though she doesn't know how to take the Cap Lock off). She will email me before she calls, which is hilarious. So tonight as I called her to break the news about my 2and lost phone within 3 months this is the email she sent me...
YASMINE, I CALLED AND E- MAILED TO CINGULAR TO REPORT YOUR LOST PHONE . TOMORROW CALL THE CUSTOMER SERVICE TO ARRANGE FOR A REPLACEMENT.THERE WILL BE A FEE INVOLED BECAUSE OF TWO PREVIOUS MISSING PHONE ASSSOCIATED WITH THIS ACCOUNT. THE HOUSE PHONE IS OUT OF ORDER AND I AM WAITING ON BELL SOUTH TO COME AND FIX THAT ISSUE SO YOU WIIL ONLY BE ABLE TO REACH ME BY CELL OR E- MAIL. YOUR DAD IS ALSO SICK THE VISITIHG NURSE WILL BE HERE TOMORROW TO START HIM ON HIGH DOSES OF STERIODS AND HOPEFULLY HE WILL RESPOND TO THE TREATMENT HE IS NOW UNABLE TO FEED HIMSELF HAS NO CONTROL OVER HIS BOWELS AND UNABLE TO MOVE HIMSELF.AM HOPING TO OBTAIN A HYDROLIC LIFT TO ASSIST ME IN MOVING HIM PLEASE PASS THIS INFRO. ON TO AUNT WENDY MOMMY HAS MORE LOVE FOR YOU THAN ALL THE STARS IN THE UNIVERSE AND IT RUNS AS DEEP AS THE MOON IS ROUND

The Last Sentence alone let me know that it's alllllllll good.
Now let me go to bed so I can plead for clemency with Howard's economics department early tomorrow morning.

Now Playing: "I told the storm" Greg O'Quin

ITS ALL GOOD... no really it is!

You know...I do lots of complaining, not really but ...When I sit back and really evaluate my life and "how I'm living" everything is G-O-O-D! I have no one to thank for that but God, the man, or woman (as Common or Andre 3000 might be proned to think), above. Everytime a door is closed another one is opening up right in front of me. This year has brought some heartache and dissapointment but I know that I'm brink of something simply spectacular, and thats WITH or WITHOUT any organization or person holding me down. Who got my back like I do? Sure there are definitely people in higher places looking out, but it's me against this world and I do plan to conquer it with my integrity in tact. People can be grimey and often times will do anything to be at the top, but I could never do anything that I wouldn't want my momma' to know about. Everything I accomplish and will accomplish will be off of my OWN merit, granted there is nothing wrong with networking and knowing the right people but that's just a part of life. I love Jesus, however I'm no "Bible Thumper" if anything I need to get right in alot of aspects of my life but I do believe His Word is true. A few weeks ago when I was just feeling down and out like I had no friend in the world my mother called me, I truly believe it was a God sent phone call because I actually answered even though I hate the phone. It's something about a mother's word, I tell you...she made me realize that whether or not I was the object of any man's affection or whether or not any organization decided that I was good enough to be apart it that I was still OKAY. It doesnt matter who loves me or who hates me for that matter, because there is STILL ONE THAT WILL ALWAYS LOVE ME...and that's God. I am the apple of HIS eye, and he's the ruler of the world. I've never been an ultra-spiritual person but that's something real and tangible...I can feel and see the evidence of his love all around me. I admit I am that girl who's always looking for true love, but honestly I've already found it...well, it found me...and it's been there the WHOLE TIME! It almost brings me to tears when I think about His goodness. When I look back over the last year of my life, I have accomplished soooo much and the only thing I can attribute my success to is God and my momma for speaking life into me. Just today, as I was on the shuttle to campus there was a bus filled with people talking about MY ARTICLE...I didnt even say anything but I was so proud that the things that I wrote had such an affect on people that they would have a full blown discussion about it. I hope the world is ready for me, because there is soooo much yet to come from Yasmine Harema Parrish. I'm a little girl about to do really BIG things...until then I'm going to stay humble, stay low and blow like Hootie!

Now Playing: Luxurious -Gwen Stefani