I'm so over it...No, really I'm too through. Men and women play so many games whether they want to/realize it or not...and for what? NOTHING is the answer. I just got home from Lucky Strike and I felt like I was alone in a huge crowd of people, not because no one was talking to me but I just alone in how I was feeling. It seemed like the whole bar was on some other stuff. There was this whole game where the women were talking to wack/corny/generally substandard men just because they were buying from the bar. I guess I'm not really up for suffering through pointless conversation just for a Blue Razz or Lucky Lemonade. Is it just me? I don't like giving out my number unless I really want to hear from the guy and I don't give fake numbers because I feel like that's childish. The whole mingling scene is dumb to me. Unless I really see something that sparks my interest then I really don't care to exchange numbers or get to know a person. This might sound strange but I really don't like meeting new people. It's just very awkward and you don't know anything about them, where they're coming from, who they are- they're essentially a stranger.
It's not just in the bar/club scene where these mindless games are played, it happens in relationships too. I'm currently in the talking/negotiating phase of a relationship with this one guy...oh you don't know what that phase is? It's basically when you're mutually feeling one another but aren't quite exclusive but you're establishing your terms of agreement. Anyway, in relationships people still play games even when they say they aren't. You want to call but you don't because the last two times you called so now you want him to...Or he texts you more than he calls so you stop answering his texts so he'll call more. You date other bullshit guys because you don't want to put all your eggs in one basket even though you know he's the only guy really worth your time. All these silly juvenile games we play for what? So we don't get played.
Everyone's so afraid of being rejected that we hinder ourselves from truly loving and living. We're always afraid of liking someone more than they like us. We edit our true feelings until God knows when...Can someone please tell me when the walls come down? When is it okay to say what you completely feel? At this rate I don't see how anyone's getting married. It's so many smoke and mirrors in this thing called dating. I thought things would be simple if I sat back and let a man pursue me but so many guys are addicted to the chase that you can never really care for them in return without them becoming disinterested. I've had multiple guy friends tell me that they love it when a girl plays hard to get and then when she eventually comes around he's done with her and on the the next. Aint that a mess? How does that work?
It's really frustrating and disheartening.

Now Playing: This Ain't Me -B.Hines