Monday, November 26, 2007

Home Is Where The Heart Is 
So I went home for the Thanksgiving Holiday and I got a big dose of reality. It's something so humbling about going home, no one treating you any different because of your accomplishments, your mom making you go to the grocery store and cooking
 dinner when all you want to do is go to Little 5 
Points...Having to watch and entertain your younger family members...taking your sister and cousin to see Chris Brown in This Christmas even though the movie sucked ass and you were really trying to get up with your "at hom
e boo".  This Thanksgiving was straight out of Southern Living or some movie, we had everything from Kim's Broccoli and Wild Rice Casserole to my mom's famous Cajun Turkey with shrimp stuffing, Granny's Greens, Dad's Tofurkey and soooo much more. This was the most culinarily (I don't think that's a word but whatev) diverse Thanksgiving ever...we had tofu, turkey, beef, seafood and every side imaginable. My mom made everyone write down what we
 were thankful for and before we had our toast everyone read a was actual very moving. 
Like we do every year, we went to the Bayou Classic in New Orleans. This year was definitely the best yet! Last year, I was running from Delta's down there like the plague and this year I was one! It was
 great...and I'm finally 21 (not like
 that stops most people) but I could do anything and go anywhere. Having a legal i.d. is like a license to kill and I definitely did that. Daiquiris
...Hand Grenades...Red Headed Sluts (shouts out to JP!) ....I loved every second of this break! I love my family, my sorority sisters, and my friends! 
Now Reading: Hung by Scott Poulson-Bryant

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Crash & Burn

...that's what I think of the welfare of all relationships formulated on Howard's campus have amounted to. Sure, there's the occasional one or two steady relationships that were born in Locke and bread with lunchdates in Blackburn but really people aren't trying to settle down. I remember coming up through the years and noticing as upperclassmen became seniors, they began to couple up- that is certainly not the case with the class 2008/2008.5. Last night my friends and I could barely come up with 1 couple in a serious relationship in our class. We managed to list about 3 pairs but they were all people who were relatively low key. There is no one on the Howard "scene" who's commited to just one person. There are a few that juggle a few different relationships and then some who will deny till' they die that they even are involved with anyone. I really don't understand this mentality, maybe I'm strange fruit or cut from different cloth but I just don't get how people go on with all of these fruitless relationships. I wonder which ones of us will be the one to say, "oh yes, me and ________ met at Howard and ended up getting married." I'm not salty, I promise, I just am curious to know where has the sincerity gone?

In other news, since I have no love life of which to speak - I have thrown myself into my career (or building one for myself anyway). Please check out my new Myspace page...

Now Playing: anything J*Davey

Sunday, November 04, 2007

I'm so over it...No, really I'm too through. Men and women play so many games whether they want to/realize it or not...and for what? NOTHING is the answer. I just got home from Lucky Strike and I felt like I was alone in a huge crowd of people, not because no one was talking to me but I just alone in how I was feeling. It seemed like the whole bar was on some other stuff. There was this whole game where the women were talking to wack/corny/generally substandard men just because they were buying from the bar. I guess I'm not really up for suffering through pointless conversation just for a Blue Razz or Lucky Lemonade. Is it just me? I don't like giving out my number unless I really want to hear from the guy and I don't give fake numbers because I feel like that's childish. The whole mingling scene is dumb to me. Unless I really see something that sparks my interest then I really don't care to exchange numbers or get to know a person. This might sound strange but I really don't like meeting new people. It's just very awkward and you don't know anything about them, where they're coming from, who they are- they're essentially a stranger.
It's not just in the bar/club scene where these mindless games are played, it happens in relationships too. I'm currently in the talking/negotiating phase of a relationship with this one guy...oh you don't know what that phase is? It's basically when you're mutually feeling one another but aren't quite exclusive but you're establishing your terms of agreement. Anyway, in relationships people still play games even when they say they aren't. You want to call but you don't because the last two times you called so now you want him to...Or he texts you more than he calls so you stop answering his texts so he'll call more. You date other bullshit guys because you don't want to put all your eggs in one basket even though you know he's the only guy really worth your time. All these silly juvenile games we play for what? So we don't get played.
Everyone's so afraid of being rejected that we hinder ourselves from truly loving and living. We're always afraid of liking someone more than they like us. We edit our true feelings until God knows when...Can someone please tell me when the walls come down? When is it okay to say what you completely feel? At this rate I don't see how anyone's getting married. It's so many smoke and mirrors in this thing called dating. I thought things would be simple if I sat back and let a man pursue me but so many guys are addicted to the chase that you can never really care for them in return without them becoming disinterested. I've had multiple guy friends tell me that they love it when a girl plays hard to get and then when she eventually comes around he's done with her and on the the next. Aint that a mess? How does that work?
It's really frustrating and disheartening.

Now Playing: This Ain't Me -B.Hines