Friday, November 11, 2005

Ujima At Its FINEST
Kwanzaa came a little early this year for me and six of my friends, folks. Tonight we found the true meaning of the third principle of Kwanzaa, Ujima (collective work and responsibility).
It was Resh's birthday...all we wanted to do was go out and have a good time. Who knew we'd be changed forever, who knew we would start a movement...influence a nation (okay, maybe not a nation -but at least some impressionable freshmen).
We attended some houseparty at an unnamed location where we saw some of the most vile acts of friendship ever committed. Every college woman knows the rule "if we come together we stay together" - that definitely wasn't the case at this unmarked location.
The first wild thing we encountered were two freshmen girls making out as a show for a an unnamed* Howard sports team, we have nothing against lesbianism however these two girls weren't homosexual- they were drunk and stupid therefore didn't realize that the same men who were fawning over them in this moment would be calling them all sorts of names the very next.
Eventually the crew goes back upstairs to get some fresh air, my friend and I noticed this one particular girl who kept going up stairs with a different guy (or set of guys) each time, as she walked down from the stairs we noticed a peculiar substance she seemed to be holding inside of her cheecks...some ivory color substance that remains to be unnamed. We were shocked to say the least at the blatant display of hoe tendencies that we had seen thus far. The night went on...I truly believe this was the hoe that broke the camel's back...she was laid out ya'll. I mean pissy ass...drunk as a skunk...straight wasted. This girl could not walk, could barely talk, in a state of not only inebriation but abandonment. WHERE WERE HER FRIENDS? Well, we couldn't seem to find them as two of my crew members along with some psuedo-innocent male (since none are to be trusted) peeled this young girl off of the floor.
I believe something clicked in all of us...well with the exception of one who would join the force a bit later...we all realized that we had to SAVE THESE HOES! It's like we kicked things into high gear...the hoe on the floor...well we saved her. Found her one friend, took her to the restroom tried to get her to vomit and release the insane amounts of alcohol she'd consumed. We all even sat outside of the restroom as this hoe sat on the toilet taking a crap for a ridiculous amount of time like she was paying rent! The crew ended up sneaking this completely drunk girl past the cops, into a car and back through the side door of the Quad. Even our one team member, who was like "forget that hoe", lent a hoelping hand and did some crazy incognegro CIA type stuff to get ole' girl back into her dorm safely.
That hoe that was running a head train? Well, I'm happy to say I helped that hoe! I got the owner of the house to inspect the rooms when I knew she was up there with her male "friend" (who I'm not even gon' put on blast). Once that silly hoe came down we grabbed her and embraced her...Mother Goose told that hoe, "Don't be no Hoe!"Mother Goose took that girl under her wing, spoke life into her so that maybe she wouldn't be refferred to as a hoe in some random upperclassmen's blog. ..what'd I do? I told her if I ever caught her in another situation like that I would "whup dat' ASS!"
Could we be mistaken for cockblockers tonight? Maybe...
Did we overstep our boundries, even if just a little bit? Maybe...
However, this girls were ALL freshmen (and while I dont think the entire freshman class is wack as hell and misguided as shit, ALOT OF THEM ARE!). Somewhere within all of us we felt the spirit of Ujima rise up in our bones and felt compelled to save these hoes! While these girls were seemingly abandoned by their party mates, we were the ones who helped them...made sure they would still be here on Monday to suffer the consequences of their mistakes. Yea, they are big girls and can make their own decisions but as women who have been their before, each of us did something in our own way to show these girls, ahem "hoes", that they could and SHOULD do better for themselves. Once you disrespect yourself...its a bitch tryin to get any kind of respect back. Sometimes people need tough love- so if I tell a freshman girl I will "whip her ass" - its most likely something that she needs to hear or experience anyway.
On the night of November 10, 2005 /the early morning of November 11, 2005 seven wonderful women of grace and integrity: Paris Fontanelle, Amirh Morgan, Deidre Young, Jasmine McNeil, Whitney Hawkins, Me (Yasmine Parrish), and yes even LaResha Ross, formed THE LOOKOUT (The Save A Hoe Campaign). We're coming to a house party near you...If you know a hoe that's tired of hoe-in then call us...Our Hoe Hand is waaay strong...We're transforming hoes into housewives!

PS: As for those two girls making out with each other...well, some hoes are just gonna' be can't save them all!

*All locations and names (except for those spectacular seven) are with held to protect the not so innocent

Now Playing: "Dont Save Her" Project Pat


Ms. Ross said...

Wow, the crazy memories that I will have of my 20th. In all sincerity, I need everyone to understand that if you come with me, you leave with me. Clearly, I came with 6 ladies whos names were listed in the original blog, and I was responsible for the safety, well-being and overall lookin out of these 6 ladies. Now don't get me wrong, I am a firm beleiver in Ujima, HOWEVER, if it is gonna put me and my girls in a bad situation (the cops being outside and shuttin down the party) thats when in my mind it becomes ALL FOR WHO I CAME WITH AND WHO I CAME WITH IS ALL...Though once we were away from the atmosphere of this un named location, I did look out and make sure they got to their place of residency without being noticed by the front desk security and Bison watch people, I do think that they should have created a system (just like me and my girls did) to ensure that everyone is lookin out for everyone!!! But hey, like my roomie said, some of the freshmen are misguided! So if everyone wants to be grown, then everyone needs to be willing and ready to reap the consequences of a grown person...Spoken from the mouth of a 20 year old herself. Holla!!!!

spchrist said...

my god...I miss my college days...