Seek Those Seeking You

Am I the only person without a true New Year's Resolution? I'm not going on a super new diet that garuntees that I'll lose 50 pounds in two weeks, I'm going to continue my Sprite addiction, and I will still eat beef every now and then even though it takes a month to digest. Yes, 2008 will be a GR8 year but it there won't be any changes due to unatural causes.

So Caleb, my youngest brother, is going through a few growing pains. He's 13 and in the 8th grade at the largest and one of the most prestigious private schools in the southeast. He's struggling to find his place in it all. Don't get me wrong, my baby bro isn't a "lame", he plays football and baseball, has an array of friends but Big Sissy always knows when K-Bird is faking the funk. One of his friends from Pre-K came over and prior to his arrival Caleb goes, "have you ever had a friend who you've known since Pre-K [though I was never in Pre-K] and you don't see each other that often and when you get older they're a little lame but you still have fun with them so you're still friends?" Honest question, huh? Well, I replied, "You know, the tides change alot when you're growing up. People who are cool in elementary may be lame in middle school or they may not be and people who are the ish in middle school may fall off it high school or they may not. All that to say that you can't base your friendships on people's popularity and if you're friend is honest, true, and fun then you stay their friend even when it's not popular." My mother thought that this was needed advice as she sensed Caleb's reservations. "He wants to be friends with this kid Ryan" she said, "and yes, Ryan's a nice kid but Caleb wants to be his friend because he's the star football player, his dad is a trainer for alot of professional football players, and he's really popular. What I try to instill in Caleb is that you can't choose your friends like that and you should seek those who seek you, Ryan's not the one calling wanting to come over."

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a bit crestfallen when I heard this. No one wants their sibling to be a "reacher"- needless to say, Caleb's getting my special lecture on "how to have true friends and make it look effortless." Tonight was my last real night in the A-town and I went to the Poetry Slam at The Apache Cafe. As I heard all of the spoken word artists rhyme verbal revelations, I had an epiphany of my own. I too should seek those seeking me instead of constantly reaching for something that may or may not be there. While I may have the popularity [whatever that means] thing on lock, I don't always seek men who seek me. One of my friends/lovedoctors made a comment, "Yaz, you like guys that are hard to get". I'm not sure what that's all about but it is a bit true. Why don't I give the time to guys who are just as excited about me as I am about them? I too am guilty of "reaching". It's a mess, ain't it? It's true though and I'm not ashamed of it because everyone's guilty. We all are like little Caleb trying to find his way. Okay, so after talking it out with myself, the computer monitor, and my dog, Sole, I guess my resolution is to seek those and that which seeks me (only if passes my 10 point inspection of course!)

Happy New Year Everyone!

Now Playing: All For You- Little Brother