The Meltdown:
Homecoming is finally over and it's all down here from here. I register for my classes for next semester on Monday. I'm scared to say the least, partly of failing but mostly of passing and being forced into the real world. I'm currently on a campaign to find a job- shaking hands and kissing babies- it ain't no joke! The fashion show was HAUTE to say the least. The designers were amazing and the models were gorgeous. We featured Project Runway's Mychael Knight (www.mychaelknight.com), Chargrels Couture (www.chargrels.com), Aquaponi (www.aquaponi.com), and the bold and beautifully ecletic Janelle Monae (www.janellemonae.com). The Hilltop's grade was definitely poorly stated especially since most of them didn't even attend the show and in case they were going off of their staff writers article they're still in bad shape since her story obviously wasn't edited one bit. Each year I do something new with my hair, whether cut or color, this year I fell into black. I know I'm not the first to do it, but it looks damn good. I've never had dark hair before but I love it and it's perfect for the season. It's interesting how hair color can give you a completely different image. In other news I just got a brand spanking new Mac Book Pro with the 15'4'' monitor! I'm so excited to finally have the computer of my heart's desire.

It's Been a Long Time - I Shouldn't Have Left You....

So, school is going great. My grades/classes/social life is great. I just haven't had the energy nor time to write. I know some bloggers make it a daily task but I never want writing to become a 'task' to me so I just write when my spirit moves me to. The fashion show is two days away...I'm so excited about it and nervous all in one. There are some stellar people coming up from Atlanta like the Aquaponi girls, Janelle Monae, and Mychael Knight! Everyone asks if I'll do another Atlanta scene like I did last year and I answer, "no" because that was a one time thing but I will always pay homage to my hometown through the talents in which I scout. Can I just say how nervous I am...I don't know why I am just a ball of nerves. I feel like the show is going to be the shit no doubt but I just want it to be extraordinary.

Okay, I've got to go now, but I'll be back shortly (forreal this time) and give you all updates on how everything went.

Now Playing: Holdn' Back - Marques Houston feat. Mya and Shawnna

PS: How do you get a guy to kiss you?

There Is Something So Double sided About Birthdays.

Let me just start by saying my 21st birthday has been great. I planned a 3 day weekend of it. Starting with an all girls (well, that was the intent but it was happily crashed toward the end) cake, champagne, strawberries and pedicure party. Then my bgf (best guy friend) Mike set up a really slamming chin dig at Andalu Bar and Lounge where all guests got in free ALL NIGHT (even though it was only supposed to be until 12am) with VIP. Then to end it all off my aunt threw me a really super dinner party at her amazing place. While I couldn't have asked for a better birthday and felt so much love and support from my friends and family there is something melancholy about birthdays. Among all the joy and anticipation there is something sad that happens on your birthday and I can't quite figure out what it is. Really there shouldn't be any sadness but then again it's only your birthday not a national holiday.

I've always wanted a surprise party but too afraid to actually have one. I blame it on the "Virgo" in me and say its because no one knows what I want like I know what I want but truly its because I don't think anyone would actually do it for me. So I just plan my own parties. I guess what makes me think that is that I planned a surprise party for one of my best friends and then she asked me what I was doing for my birthday very flippantly. It seems little I know but what if I had no answer? Would she have done all the things for me that I did for her? 21 is a big year, you don't get another big birthday until 25 and it's really random to have a huge party for an age like 23 so would I have had another hum drum birthday dinner at some restaurant chain? If I left it up to others to plan my birthday? Would they know me better than to try to take me to Cheesecake Factory or Benihana's? (no offense to anyone who might like those options ...I actually did Cheesecake Factory for my 15th birthday) Do my friends know me like I think they do or should?
In other news I am currently looking for my Tiffany's cross necklace that I wear everyday. I took it off because it clashed with a very ornate pearl necklace I wore on Friday but due to my inebriation I can't remember where I laid it down. It's making me sick to my stomach literally. I've had a bad attitude since I lost it.
That's all I feel like writing right now....just wanted to update you.

Now Playing: Drink and My Two Step- Cassidy

The Terminal.

From 5:15 am until 8:28pm I have been in the airport. Not even one ... two. Damn those sumbitches of AirTran Airways...X-fare can be the best of times and the worst of times. Today was the sticky black stuff at the bottom of the barrell.

6:35am- after being at the airport realizing that I will be there for at least another 5 hours I decide to take a nap.

6:45am- a woman comes rushing toward the gate in a frenzy. the door is closed. she proceeds to BANG ON THE DOOR with all her might. people begin to stare. (Is this bitch crazy? don't she know that will lock her butt up? even if she is a white woman.) She is now crying- really hard.

6:48am- she proceeds to bust the terminal door open. (after I tried to tell her that the door to the plane was closed) after that all hell broke loose. the gate attendents were shocked and immediately called security. the police came.

Apparently, the woman's mother had just died. I felt horrible for her, but I wished she would've had someone traveling with her to knock some sense into her. I guess we all have a breaking point when we loose all sanity. This was hers and I am sure she will always remember the day she posed a threat to national security.

10:38 am- I wake up to the face of my youngest brother, Caleb. "hey Yasmine!" Turns out my grandfather, brother, and two cousins were on that flight. Too bad they weren't and I didn't make it.

After one more try at the 12:40 flight, DeMone the super friendly customer service agent for AirTran suggested that we (me and my newly found travel buddies) hightail it to Dulles for more favorable flights.

1:00pm- we were off. Me, Lindsay (an Aka who just graduated from Western Kentucky with a degree in anthropology), and Juliano (a Brazilian pro-tennis player who'll be in the US Open in few weeks and wore these obnoxious Gucci shades even in the metro)

1:05pm - on the blue line toward largo town center, off at Rosslyn, catch the A5 west to Dulles

2:30pm- finally at Dulles, to wait..................and wait ............................and wait.

I was drunk off of naps and too many sex tips from the Cosmo I was reading. Lowkey though, I hate Cosmo for that very reason and since I subscribe to the cool fashion mags there was no reason to buy them. So Cosmo it was.

6:37pm- I receive the golden ticket. A SEAT assignment! Too bad, it was two more hours of waiting.

10:00pm- I finally touch down in the A. My ears still haven't unpopped. I blow my nose and all of a sudden I feel a sharp pain in my ears. The room is spinning and I seriously think I may be laid out on the women's bathroom floor in terminal A of Hartsfield-Jackson. Poor Lindsay seemed more alarmed than me.

10:05pm- I pull it together and am finally in the comfort of this magical brand new white lincoln navigator my mother "rented" (it has paper tags).

I'm home. Finally.

Now Playing: any and everything Jazmin Sullivan

FYI: I added a playlist...hope you enjoy!

"Clouds and Whipped Cream"...
sometimes that's all it really is.

When I was a kid I thought that clouds were something you could hold. Something like cotton that levated up in the sky. Then I took my first plane ride and realized that it was merely a "visible mass of condensed droplets, frozen crystals suspended in the atmosphere above the surface of the earth." We flew through them as if they had no weight, they were nothing. Much of the same thing is whipped cream. When atop a dessert one can certainly be lead to believe that that whipped cream is in fact vanilla ice cream. I hate whipped cream for that very reason. Anytime I'm eating my favorite brownie a la mode at The Diner I must say "hold the whipped cream" because I hate being mislead. I hate believing that the whipped cream is something that its not. It looks too similar to the ice cream.

Do you smell what I'm stepping in? Do you see where I am going?
Not yet?
Fair Enough...

In life so many things are not what they seem. Looking at something (may it be a person, experience, thing) you may think it has so much depth, or its so extraordinary- when the fact of the matter is that its not. And then you have to live with that deceit. Its like coming down on the whipped cream on a spoon or flying through a cloud and realizing that there's nothing truly there. Or better yet what is there isn't worth the hype.


Now Playing: Cute - Canton Jones

Countdown to Meltdown.



Its 80 days until Homecoming. 289 days, 19 hours, 52 minutes and 57 seconds to graduation and the pressure is ON FULL BLAST. Christmas Break my junior year my aunt tells me that my mother has asked her to begin the planning stages of my graduation party. Normally when the world party is involved I am immediately excited however, who's to say that at that point I would even graduate on time? Now, 8 months later I have the same tiny fear. Don't get me wrong, I am scheduled for an on time commencement. However there are other factors involved...well one mainly. PASSING. Normally I wouldn't be all too concerned about that because except for a math class and one physical eduation that I never (no, not even once.) attended, I've never actually failed a class. However this year I'm going up against principles of reasoning which I hear is a beast no matter who you take. Mind you I'm a pretty good writer and thinker as well so I'm not sure what's so hard about it. But I've seen the class take people in and spit them them right back out again. Plus, I have statistics too! I've got to pass...there is no room for for anything else. I have to graduate ....ON TIME or it will be the death of me. Literally.

As far as Homecoming Goes...Its like my child. Each year coming up with a concept and seeing your vision grow, change, and come alive at the end. Comprise can be so frustrating and doing the remedial tasks like drafting agreements can be annoying. But its coming up quick and no stone can be left uncovered. Oh yea, let me just say if we're ever out please don't feel obligated to introduce me as the coordinator of the Howard Homecoming Fashion Show coordinator. It's sorta' annoying. For one, most people don't care. For two, those that do care will find out on their own. For three, if I would like for them to know I'll send them my resume or bring up in natural conversation. All that other stuff is so unnecessary. I feel the same way about Delta and being at Howard for that matter. It's so corny to me to give a random person your verbal resume every single time you shake their hand. I'm really big on networking but showboating has NEVER been my steez.

I've been thinking that I could really make something of this fashion show production business. I've been getting calls lately to help out with different shows around DC and Atlanta and I'm thinking I could make this my thing. I know its sounds silly that I'm just now thinking this but there really is a market for fashion show production. I've finally what to put on my business card. I know it's a sin or whatnot to not have a business card, but I never really had the "right" title for mine. I'm getting there ya'll....all in God's timing.

Now Playing: You Must Love Me- Jay-Z

Case of The X

So here I am. Back on my soapbox. Sitting here at work (http://www.stellableu.com be on the lookout for our new online boutique!). Bored, eating my strawberry lemon water ice from next door trying to avoid the ever dreaded brain freeze. I've been pondering this subject for a minute now, it's really been bothering me and I've been trying to figure out why. I think I've got it. They've all got one (men that is)...
"Got what?" you ask...
An Ex-girlfriend!
And I hate them all dearly.
It's just a matter of time before they rear their suprisingly beautiful head up in each and every relationship. Now, when I meet a guy and we start getting to know each other I just countdown in my head until she reveals herself because unless he's still unabashadley mourning over her - he'll try to hide the fact that she's still there. It's okay though...she'll make herself known. Unnecessary/obnoxious Myspace/Facebook posts referencing past experienes. Constant text messages. Random emails/voicemails .....She's relentless.
Every guy has one. Whether is past relationship ended good or bad, she's still there and still affects him one way or another. She's the reason he has commitment issues...she's the reason he can never spend the night...she's the reason he does this or won't do that. Its frustrating really, how this person from the past has so much precedence in his present.
What's even crazier is that while I hate ex-girlfriends....I am an ex-girlfriend. Every woman is and each of us has had a hard time letting go. We all have reaked havoc on our ex's life in some way or another...Whether we felt like he was always going to be there despite his new girlfriend, or maybe we wanted to give it another try, or we remained "friends" that make uncomfortable references in the presence of others about our past. We've all been guilty of being that blasted ex that just won't accept the fact that she is just that. An Ex.



My Love- Ciara

Bearing Your Daily Cross

I've never been uber religious (which used to get me in big trouble at my Christian high school) but I do have a strong sense of who and what God is to me. I definitely believe that everyone has a burden to bear ...a daily cross to wear on your back...your personal protest....what you alone must fight for in your life. I think I have figured mine out. Some kinda' way I got mixed in with the "role model" pile. I was just living my life trying to do my thing and the next thing I know I have godsisters, cousins, and family friends looking to me (.....................................................................excuse me while i help the 3 self-proclaimed "faggies try on our women's Joe's Cigarette cut jeans........................................................................................) as an example of what to do - may it be right or wrong. Growing up I always looked to my mother's bestfriend's daughter, Chante' for all that was cool and worthy in life. Chante' was a lot like me... short, cute, and stylish- she cheered, had great grades, popular, and super lovable. I loved coming to DC and being her miniature sidekick- anything Tae' did I wanted to do too. What I've learned is that I'm now someone else's Chante'. I have my own league of proteges now to help mold into women of purpose. I know this is a really random thing to blog about but I feel a great deal of responsibilty to be a good role model and I definitely think about that on a regular basis. I have come to realize that this is my daily cross to bear. I'm not sure who said this but I definitely agree with them..."I do this for the people."

now playing: prototype- andre 3000

Bag Brotha'

So, clearly I'm on the job being non-compliant but I'm just too excited that the Internet is finally working here that I couldn't help to update my readers on this so called fabulous life. I apologize for the delay in posts but I'm not really near a working computer regularly...its kinda messed up my cyber life but too much facebook and myspace is beginning to breed losers so I guess it's okay by me. Remember that Erykah Badu song, "Bag Lady"? She should have made a remix called, "Bag Brotha'" because all the guys I'm running into lately have soooo many hang-ups about women, girlfriends that are only part-time, or ex girlfriends that are really full time lovers. Who knew it was like this? Where was I when every other woman was figuring out that they all were the same the closer toward the end you got? Baggage is a very feminine trait ...or at least that's how I feel. What happened to other young people like myself? Carefree...easy going...not up for a lot of drama - really I just want someone that's open, easy to talk to, and attractive *too many time people try to front like they don't have to be attracted physically...well, I'll be the FIRST one to say. The brother needs to be FINE*
The more I think about it, I've always had some guy occupying my time energy. A permanent date of sorts...but now that I'm looking a little further outside my window it's looking a bit gloomy. Everyone seems to have issues surrounding them. "Oh, so and so he's a nice guy but ( Fill in the appropriate tragic downfall) " It's disturbing really...how can people so young be so filled with stress and angst. Who took their cookie? I've had my fair share of ups and downs, successes and heartbreaks ...some of which I've blogged about but never would I allow myself to be so wounded by life's hardships that I couldn't see a good thing coming. I'm definitely trying not to be one of those angry uber realist black women that think all men are either uneducated, in jail, or gay and if they're "good" then they're already taken however I'm starting think my strong black sistas *snaps* might have a point. For now though I'll continue to believe the world is my oyster and anything I desire is there for me to have ...eligible men included. After all, ignorance is bliss isn't it? Let's hope so.


Free- Mya

shouts to the family!
Just wanted to give a shoutout to my family who I now know read regularly and have spread it amongst themselves unbeknownst to me! lol. HEY EVERYBODY! *waves at the camera* Anyway, my little cousin sent me the greatest email ever and that's the kinda' thing I live for. Letting me know that I'm a positive force, an inspiration, and a cool kid. It made my heart smile. I honestly don't mind anyone reading my blog, for if I did it'd be set to private ...after all this is a blog not a DIARY! I keep the two very seperate. I'll admit there are a few statements that will make me blush when I think about cousin Dolly or Peter reading with their cup of coffee but then again I only publish things I don't mind the WORLD WIDE web reading. Ce' la vie. So since I've been informed that my blog is the hot topic of the family I figured I'd give them a shoutout!

For those who haven't been keeping up with the life of Yasmine (the daughter of Ed) via "google" or our annual Christmas cards here's my rundown:

*I'm not pregnant (and I don't have any kids)

*I'm a Senior at Howard U.

*Easiest way to reach me is by email/phone/ or at Aunt *my aunt...your cousin* Wendy's

*I pledged Delta (sorry, I know most you guys are Aka's)

*I dont plan on getting married any time soon however if you're in the area next May come to my graduation and you can get free autographs (before I blow up!)

Anyway, I thought the email Serena (Nita's daughter) sent me was hilarious, sweet, a bit unnerving, and overall awesome. Glad to know my family's reading! lol.

PS: my reviews are way UP in the honesty box!

Now Playing: Family Reunion

THE HONESTY BOX!

So about this "Honesty Box" phenom that has hit the world wide pages of Facebook. So far my appeal rate is 60/40. Sixty percent of people love me to pieces and the other forty percent are haters. Well, you can't please all the people, all the time now can you? In some ways I feel like the Honesty Box has taken the responsibility away from people. It's like you can just say whatever you feel without the repercussions of a reaction [unless of course like me you tell an old partner their stamina, or lack thereof, threw their entire stroke game off and they knew it was you so they wrote something smart in your box too]. After that incident I vowed to just be a positive force in the Honesty Box world, if I'd be ashame to admit to my remarks then I won't make them. Simple as pie.

The Honesty Box has begun to turn some wheels in my brain though...like, "what if I'm not really as cute/fly/smart/perfect as I think I am?" This is not just a personal thought though, it's more like we all pretty much think we're young, attractive, well liked and represented forces in our environments... but what if that wasn't so. It had me thinking, maybe people don't like me for my looks. Am I one of those people who when asked about people answer, "well, she's a really sweet girl." Actually they probably don't say that either because from what I'm seeing I'm not all that sweet. [ I take that back one person encouraged me to "STAY SWEET"]

The Honesty Box hasn't crushed my esteem but moreso made me be a realist in terms of coming to grips with how people truly view me and for that, I thank the makers of the Honesty Box. However, I do want to say one thing.... Fuck haters...GET MONEY! lmao.

What are your views?

Now Playing: Mo' Money More Problems - Notorious BIG

So one my coolest guy friends came out to me yesterday.

I've got to admit I never saw it coming in a million gazillion years. It happened all so casually that I didn't even catch it. This is how it happened..
We had been having a usual comedic conversation when I asked him about his love life [which any one of my friends can tell you is so classic of me] and I said, "how are the girls in your life?" He replied "there are no girls, nor do I think there will be in the future." Now I almost didn't catch that last part as I only half way listen to him when he speaks...you have to understand our relationship to get that one...
So of course being the journalist that I am, I inquired further about what the hell that meant. And he just came out and said it ..."Yasmine, I'm gay."

WOAH! It hit me like a load of bricks...completely side swiped me...caught me completely off guard. What was I to say or do?

This all had to be a joke. So for the first hour I insisted that he's playing a really big prank [which would not be unlike him] and that I'm going to kill him for making me believe that this was his big, well not so big...pretty random and matter of factly, "coming out" conversation. When he first began giving me the discretion speech I really was still trying wrap my mind about what he was saying and what this meant for him, for me, for us. I never imagined him to ever be interested in something like Interactive Male.
As selfish as this sounds, part of me was really upset and hurt. Why? I'm still trying to figure it out ...ever since our conversation yesterday his sexual preference has been heavy on my heart. I have a good number of other gay friends. It's never been a big deal but mostly because I knew they were gay from the start. This friend...we've had sooo many long talks, intimate, soul searching...and over a year later I'm just finding out. A part of me is a bit upset because he's yet another super eligible black man that bit the dust. No woman will ever have the fortune of having a great guy like him as a husband or using his impeccable genes (unless they reproduce in some type of weird scientific way) I think I'm upset also because he just couldn't fight the stereotype...a good looking, style savvy, black man can't not be gay! Sometimes I feel like its an epidemic! In a way I'm super let down and that's why I believe I've been feeling a bit heartbroken.
When I think about it, I'm so shocked only because we were so close and it's kind of like an impressionistic painting. Just dots up close but when you step away from the situation you can see the whole picture.
We were always flirting friends and while I never wanted to see him naked, I did sometimes wonder how the act sex would affect the relationship [does that make sense? that I didnt want to have sex but wondered what it would bring?]. In some ways I thought of him as asexual but I guess I never believed him to be homosexual.
Now, while I do have hidden selfish feelings about my friends sexuality, I also am happy and honored that he shared himself with me in this manner. I feel great that he trusted me enough to tell me his feelings and somethings that he's never told a soul. I couldn't imagine going through life living a lie and I'm happy he's finally beginning to loosen his belt. I know that if he had a choice he wouldn't be gay and that's why I couldn't bring myself to let him know how I was truly feeling. I didn't want to turn his self-accepting victory and triumph into all about me and my fear of being a single woman forever plight.
Toward the end of our conversation I asked him, "so what, are you going to be my new gay best friend?" and he replied "I've always been your gay best friend."
I don't think I could have said it better, he's always been my gay best friend. I just never knew he was gay!



Now Playing: My Funny Valentine - Chaka Khan

Home Sweet Home?

Forgive me for my absense I've been doing absolutely nothing blogworthy since I last wrote. However, some rising thoughts have caused me to question my place in this place called "home". I really think age, time, and distance is not so slowly but surely pushing me out of my position in my home in Atlanta. When I came home after freshman year it was like nothing changed, I just had a new network of college friends. After sophomore year I didn't come home but for a few weeks and not too much had changed except that my mother had given away all of my beloved childhood furniture and repainted my room from fushia to sea foam green! Now, 2 weeks after the end of my junior year - it's like I never even lived here...all my high school memorabilia (megaphone, cheerleading uniforms, pom poms etc) are all in the closet of the newly deemed "guest room". New more vogue and mature mahogany furniture fill the space giving it a serene, luxurious getaway feel. I'm not mad at my momma but dang, why couldn't I get the vanity when I was actually here to enjoy it?!

In a heated discsusion my mother blurted out that she wished I'd "hurry up and get back to DC" - that's when I finally realized that this house is no longer my home! While it's nice to visit the parental units its clear that my life is now resides in Washington, DC. It is a bit sad but ultimately true. I don't even have a 404 number...its 202?! Though I must admit, ATLANTA is the shit these days! (see photos [top to bottom]: 1. me and my linesister, K. Champagne 2. Crazy people of Sole Munki 3. My homeslice Z and her friend, Brian)

In other news I'll be in LA at the BET Awards later this month so if you're going to be there too holla' at a player! I feel like hustle is back on...this is gonna' look great on my resume!

Now Playing: I Did You Wrong- Mims

WHEN IT RAINS IT FUCKING POURS!

I'm currently recovering from the most horrific 4 days of my life! When things seemed as nothing more could be wrong...what happened?! Shit got worse. Wanna hear the story? Well here it go...It all started with a barking cough...my nose was running, my chest had more snot in it than a four old's nose ever did. I was supposed to be moving out of my dorm that weekened, meeting older Sorors, going to my bff's graduation, and the graduation dinners of about 5 different people. Friday morning the raindrops began to fall...my mother called me in a tissy at 8 am in the morning telling me that I needed to find out which hospital my grandfather was going to and hurry because his wife was dying. Now, I know this may sound a bit curt but I never did like the bitch so it was rather interesting mustering up energy to get out bed that early but I did it for my grandpops. So I found the hospital, Washington Hospital Center, found intensive care and the Kindle room. Waiting were her grandchildren, sister, neices, and my uncle and grandfather pretty much all people who were sad that she was so ill. Whatever...the drama began when I went down to the gift shop and brought a Sprite, sipped some, then put it in my carry-all purse. When I get up to the weeping ...ahem, "waiting" room I realized my cold drink was leaking! It had spilled on my phone and within hours my cellular phone was caput (the third time within a year!) So then I knew trying to get my already irresponsible uncle, who actually worked in the PunchOut my first two years, to help move me out without a cell phone was going to be virtually impossible. I struggled to pack my belongings but keeping my computer on just so I had some contact to the outside world through AIM. After missing graduation, my bestfriend's graduation dinner (along with a host of others), and the first opportunity to move out my belongings from the dorm (which I was supposed to be out of the next day at noon)... I finally found a phone to get in touch w/ my uncle and some magical way an RA came to my room and told me they were waiting downstairs for me. Just as we were taking the things into my grandmother's it started to rain cats and dogs...it was a mess! And I found out that my grandfather's wife had indeed died, which I could believe because when I saw her the day before she had that deer in the headlights look in her eyes and she was fighting, probably the devil but only God knows that. The next day I had to figure out who was going to help me with the last bit of belongings I had...most people I would've called were either out of town, with their mothers, or tending to the dead bitch, excuse me I mean..."witch". So I immediately knew my plans to go home to Atlanta were postponed and that I would miss out on the AUC's infamous "Senior Week". Damn! Then the next day as I struggled to get all the rest of my belongings out of my dorm by noon (mind you I woke up at 10:30 as my alarm clock magically dissappeared), with no one to watch my belongings as I load them out, and wondering who was actually going to pick me up. It was a mess! Luckily my dear friend Michael watched my stuff for me (for hours at that) and let me use his phone on the hour! He was definitely the best thing that happened to me that entire weekend. My grandmother finally came to the rescue though she fussed all the while and I had to throw away my beloved floor lamp that had dimmers! ugh...I still get sick thinking about it. Then I was there at my grandma's for days...no numbers besides the ones I could get from my voicemail and phonebook, no internet, therefore no email, no cable. After a few days of that its reminiscent of That 70's Show which is NOT fun to actually live in. THEN...on top of allllllllll of that that my father get admitted into the hospital. I couldn't friggin' win for losing! To top it all off I had to sit in a 3 hour long FUNERAL for a woman who seemingly hated my guts! Well, I actually did that out of love for my grandfather...but ce la vie. I guess everyday can't be sunshine and freshed baked brownies...



Now Playing: Umbrella- Rihanna feat. Jigga


PS: just so you know things did get better I'm finally home and have a brand new white chocolate lg phone!

EVIAN, PLEASE?!

I should be packing my life away right now but the fact of the matter is that I'm not because I felt as though I needed to pause for the cause and talk about the things that are really making me say, "wow". I got an invitation (Facebook invite on at that, I know it's convienient but Hallmark is always the classy way to go) to a baby shower to a girl who I, one haven't seen in over a year, didn't know was pregnant, nor married. Ain't that a trip?! I've written on her wall inquiring her whereabouts and a whole year of being missing in action she pops up not only with a husband, or at least I think she's married I haven't seen no wedding pictures or anything but I'm trusting that she's sincerely married and not bs-ing as people do on le' Facebook, but a bun in the oven! Should I just start drinking Deer Park and Dasani? It really seems like this pregnancy thing is in the tap! Everyone knows I CAN'T WAIT to have kids but damn I don't know about right now...I'm trying to have my house, 2 car garage, husband and everything before I start my family. I definitely respect those of my friends who have decided to step up to the plate and take care of their responsibility but it seems like a lot of people are being irresponsible in the bedroom these days. My mother always told me that people in college would come and go if not because of money, because of babies. I must say as a rising senior- it is certainly true. When I think about it most of our parents had us when they were in their early 20's and all of my friends are in their early 20's. I just guess it's just weird that we're at the age where we're mommies and daddies and doing just what our parents did. My first instinct is to react as if it's *gasp* "teen pregnancy"...but truthfully it's not. We're adults now whether we realize it or not. Having a kid is on hell of a reality check! One new life I am excited about is ZOE AMARIS! She's gonna be the shit...


Now Playing: Charlene- Anthony Hamilton

Back in The Day

Remember in high school when you'd stay on the phone for hours with your crush. Your heart would flutter everytime you saw that person or their number would come up on the caller ID. Instead of feeling like a junior in college I feel like I'm right back in my momma's house and only a 16 year old junior in high school. I've only had a diluted sensation of those intense butterflies the past year. It seems as all of my collegiate relationships have been very serious and intense - very adult so it feels nice to have a school girl crush again. To have things be easy breezy and not complicated or laden with drama. I love the feeling of wondering when the next time I'll see him or he'll call as opposed to awaiting the next argument. Falling asleep on the phone and then arguing about who will be the first to hang up ...I know this post seems juvenile but that's because it is and is meant to be. I hope it joggs your memory and takes you back too.

Now Playing: C R U S H- Ciara

It is 7am on a Sunday morning and I am just now arriving back to my dorm. I have not had a night like this since I was in high school and it seemed as if I had not one single care in the world. Needless to say it feels great to be able to have things revert back that to some degree. When I tell you we party hopped...we party hopped! This is all this post will say...it's definitely a sign of the times- school is OWT!


Now Playing: Naughty Girl - Beyonce

My Thoughts of Late on Twiddling My Thumbs

No, I'm not literally twindling my thumbs but I am in my mind. I've accomplished all my goals while at Howard with a year to spare! What am I to do now? What more to conquer?

I have done it ALL

Excelled in my major (check)

Basically ran shit (check check and check -see resume)
Had my own Girl Scout Troop, yes that was a goal (check)
Did THE Fashion Show (Homecoming - the one that matters most, let's not pretend) (Check 2x -I'm doing it again in 07')

Pledged the most revered woman's organization not only on campus but in the world (DELTA...really sounds good to me:) (CHECK!)

So now...The question is - what to strive for now? I tried striving for a bomb internship in New York and came a day late and a dollar short. You know what...I think that's it. Turn my collegiate success into my life's success. I guess I've conquered everything at Howard- now the record has begun to skip. Only thing left to do on campus is to be the best student, friend, and Delta I can be and to strive for that which is HIGHER than whatever there is to do here at Howard. This time next year I'll be saying my good-bye's to good ole' HU without any regrets. Whatever I wanted- I went for it despite whether the odds were for or against me. I wouldn't change anything about my matriculation through The Hilltop. It's been a looooooooooooooong time coming (or so it seemed when I was on my way) and know I've finally reached the point where I can say "ahhhhh"- I have arrived! Now let's just make sure this fashion show is HAUTE and this is the best year ever for Alpha Chapter.

Now Playing: Teach Me- Musiq

Nikki Says it Best

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/19/vtech.shooting/index.html

The Trouble with Being Crazy In Love

When we love do we ever evaluate whether we're loving just a little too hard? The massacre at Virginia Tech all stemed from love gone awry. We all need to be much more careful when evaluating those we engage in relationships with, how we treat people, and how we prevent tragedies like this from occuring. While no one is to blame except for Cho Seung-Hui, the killer and ex-boyfriend. "[]Seung-Hui said Monday's massacre on the Virginia Tech campus could have been avoided and said 'you forced me into a corner...You had a hundred billion chances and ways to have avoided today,' Cho said in one of the videos that aired Wednesday night on NBC. 'But you decided to spill my blood. You forced me into a corner and gave me only one option. The decision was yours. Now you have blood on your hands that will never wash off.'"
At what point do we check our own sanity or the sanity of others? When love is strong enough to kill then it's no longer love.
After watching the video of Seung-Hui I really believe his soul was tormented by shame and embarassment and he felt like he had to do what he did. While I'm not making excuses for him - I always did feel sympathy for those constantly picked on and never accepted.We really have to be careful on how we treat people. You never know what might be going on inside. That person you toss off to the side just may be waiting on your careless action to go and kill themselves or better yet 33 other people and then themselves. What happened at Virginia Tech was tragic but how can we each do our part in helping to prevent people from feeling so low that they go and kill innocent people?