There Is Something So Double sided About Birthdays.

Let me just start by saying my 21st birthday has been great. I planned a 3 day weekend of it. Starting with an all girls (well, that was the intent but it was happily crashed toward the end) cake, champagne, strawberries and pedicure party. Then my bgf (best guy friend) Mike set up a really slamming chin dig at Andalu Bar and Lounge where all guests got in free ALL NIGHT (even though it was only supposed to be until 12am) with VIP. Then to end it all off my aunt threw me a really super dinner party at her amazing place. While I couldn't have asked for a better birthday and felt so much love and support from my friends and family there is something melancholy about birthdays. Among all the joy and anticipation there is something sad that happens on your birthday and I can't quite figure out what it is. Really there shouldn't be any sadness but then again it's only your birthday not a national holiday.

I've always wanted a surprise party but too afraid to actually have one. I blame it on the "Virgo" in me and say its because no one knows what I want like I know what I want but truly its because I don't think anyone would actually do it for me. So I just plan my own parties. I guess what makes me think that is that I planned a surprise party for one of my best friends and then she asked me what I was doing for my birthday very flippantly. It seems little I know but what if I had no answer? Would she have done all the things for me that I did for her? 21 is a big year, you don't get another big birthday until 25 and it's really random to have a huge party for an age like 23 so would I have had another hum drum birthday dinner at some restaurant chain? If I left it up to others to plan my birthday? Would they know me better than to try to take me to Cheesecake Factory or Benihana's? (no offense to anyone who might like those options ...I actually did Cheesecake Factory for my 15th birthday) Do my friends know me like I think they do or should?
In other news I am currently looking for my Tiffany's cross necklace that I wear everyday. I took it off because it clashed with a very ornate pearl necklace I wore on Friday but due to my inebriation I can't remember where I laid it down. It's making me sick to my stomach literally. I've had a bad attitude since I lost it.
That's all I feel like writing right now....just wanted to update you.

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