shouts to the family!
Just wanted to give a shoutout to my family who I now know read regularly and have spread it amongst themselves unbeknownst to me! lol. HEY EVERYBODY! *waves at the camera* Anyway, my little cousin sent me the greatest email ever and that's the kinda' thing I live for. Letting me know that I'm a positive force, an inspiration, and a cool kid. It made my heart smile. I honestly don't mind anyone reading my blog, for if I did it'd be set to private ...after all this is a blog not a DIARY! I keep the two very seperate. I'll admit there are a few statements that will make me blush when I think about cousin Dolly or Peter reading with their cup of coffee but then again I only publish things I don't mind the WORLD WIDE web reading. Ce' la vie. So since I've been informed that my blog is the hot topic of the family I figured I'd give them a shoutout!

For those who haven't been keeping up with the life of Yasmine (the daughter of Ed) via "google" or our annual Christmas cards here's my rundown:

*I'm not pregnant (and I don't have any kids)

*I'm a Senior at Howard U.

*Easiest way to reach me is by email/phone/ or at Aunt *my aunt...your cousin* Wendy's

*I pledged Delta (sorry, I know most you guys are Aka's)

*I dont plan on getting married any time soon however if you're in the area next May come to my graduation and you can get free autographs (before I blow up!)

Anyway, I thought the email Serena (Nita's daughter) sent me was hilarious, sweet, a bit unnerving, and overall awesome. Glad to know my family's reading! lol.

PS: my reviews are way UP in the honesty box!

Now Playing: Family Reunion

THE HONESTY BOX!

So about this "Honesty Box" phenom that has hit the world wide pages of Facebook. So far my appeal rate is 60/40. Sixty percent of people love me to pieces and the other forty percent are haters. Well, you can't please all the people, all the time now can you? In some ways I feel like the Honesty Box has taken the responsibility away from people. It's like you can just say whatever you feel without the repercussions of a reaction [unless of course like me you tell an old partner their stamina, or lack thereof, threw their entire stroke game off and they knew it was you so they wrote something smart in your box too]. After that incident I vowed to just be a positive force in the Honesty Box world, if I'd be ashame to admit to my remarks then I won't make them. Simple as pie.

The Honesty Box has begun to turn some wheels in my brain though...like, "what if I'm not really as cute/fly/smart/perfect as I think I am?" This is not just a personal thought though, it's more like we all pretty much think we're young, attractive, well liked and represented forces in our environments... but what if that wasn't so. It had me thinking, maybe people don't like me for my looks. Am I one of those people who when asked about people answer, "well, she's a really sweet girl." Actually they probably don't say that either because from what I'm seeing I'm not all that sweet. [ I take that back one person encouraged me to "STAY SWEET"]

The Honesty Box hasn't crushed my esteem but moreso made me be a realist in terms of coming to grips with how people truly view me and for that, I thank the makers of the Honesty Box. However, I do want to say one thing.... Fuck haters...GET MONEY! lmao.

What are your views?

Now Playing: Mo' Money More Problems - Notorious BIG

So one my coolest guy friends came out to me yesterday.

I've got to admit I never saw it coming in a million gazillion years. It happened all so casually that I didn't even catch it. This is how it happened..
We had been having a usual comedic conversation when I asked him about his love life [which any one of my friends can tell you is so classic of me] and I said, "how are the girls in your life?" He replied "there are no girls, nor do I think there will be in the future." Now I almost didn't catch that last part as I only half way listen to him when he speaks...you have to understand our relationship to get that one...
So of course being the journalist that I am, I inquired further about what the hell that meant. And he just came out and said it ..."Yasmine, I'm gay."

WOAH! It hit me like a load of bricks...completely side swiped me...caught me completely off guard. What was I to say or do?

This all had to be a joke. So for the first hour I insisted that he's playing a really big prank [which would not be unlike him] and that I'm going to kill him for making me believe that this was his big, well not so big...pretty random and matter of factly, "coming out" conversation. When he first began giving me the discretion speech I really was still trying wrap my mind about what he was saying and what this meant for him, for me, for us. I never imagined him to ever be interested in something like Interactive Male.
As selfish as this sounds, part of me was really upset and hurt. Why? I'm still trying to figure it out ...ever since our conversation yesterday his sexual preference has been heavy on my heart. I have a good number of other gay friends. It's never been a big deal but mostly because I knew they were gay from the start. This friend...we've had sooo many long talks, intimate, soul searching...and over a year later I'm just finding out. A part of me is a bit upset because he's yet another super eligible black man that bit the dust. No woman will ever have the fortune of having a great guy like him as a husband or using his impeccable genes (unless they reproduce in some type of weird scientific way) I think I'm upset also because he just couldn't fight the stereotype...a good looking, style savvy, black man can't not be gay! Sometimes I feel like its an epidemic! In a way I'm super let down and that's why I believe I've been feeling a bit heartbroken.
When I think about it, I'm so shocked only because we were so close and it's kind of like an impressionistic painting. Just dots up close but when you step away from the situation you can see the whole picture.
We were always flirting friends and while I never wanted to see him naked, I did sometimes wonder how the act sex would affect the relationship [does that make sense? that I didnt want to have sex but wondered what it would bring?]. In some ways I thought of him as asexual but I guess I never believed him to be homosexual.
Now, while I do have hidden selfish feelings about my friends sexuality, I also am happy and honored that he shared himself with me in this manner. I feel great that he trusted me enough to tell me his feelings and somethings that he's never told a soul. I couldn't imagine going through life living a lie and I'm happy he's finally beginning to loosen his belt. I know that if he had a choice he wouldn't be gay and that's why I couldn't bring myself to let him know how I was truly feeling. I didn't want to turn his self-accepting victory and triumph into all about me and my fear of being a single woman forever plight.
Toward the end of our conversation I asked him, "so what, are you going to be my new gay best friend?" and he replied "I've always been your gay best friend."
I don't think I could have said it better, he's always been my gay best friend. I just never knew he was gay!



Now Playing: My Funny Valentine - Chaka Khan

Home Sweet Home?

Forgive me for my absense I've been doing absolutely nothing blogworthy since I last wrote. However, some rising thoughts have caused me to question my place in this place called "home". I really think age, time, and distance is not so slowly but surely pushing me out of my position in my home in Atlanta. When I came home after freshman year it was like nothing changed, I just had a new network of college friends. After sophomore year I didn't come home but for a few weeks and not too much had changed except that my mother had given away all of my beloved childhood furniture and repainted my room from fushia to sea foam green! Now, 2 weeks after the end of my junior year - it's like I never even lived here...all my high school memorabilia (megaphone, cheerleading uniforms, pom poms etc) are all in the closet of the newly deemed "guest room". New more vogue and mature mahogany furniture fill the space giving it a serene, luxurious getaway feel. I'm not mad at my momma but dang, why couldn't I get the vanity when I was actually here to enjoy it?!

In a heated discsusion my mother blurted out that she wished I'd "hurry up and get back to DC" - that's when I finally realized that this house is no longer my home! While it's nice to visit the parental units its clear that my life is now resides in Washington, DC. It is a bit sad but ultimately true. I don't even have a 404 number...its 202?! Though I must admit, ATLANTA is the shit these days! (see photos [top to bottom]: 1. me and my linesister, K. Champagne 2. Crazy people of Sole Munki 3. My homeslice Z and her friend, Brian)

In other news I'll be in LA at the BET Awards later this month so if you're going to be there too holla' at a player! I feel like hustle is back on...this is gonna' look great on my resume!

Now Playing: I Did You Wrong- Mims

WHEN IT RAINS IT FUCKING POURS!

I'm currently recovering from the most horrific 4 days of my life! When things seemed as nothing more could be wrong...what happened?! Shit got worse. Wanna hear the story? Well here it go...It all started with a barking cough...my nose was running, my chest had more snot in it than a four old's nose ever did. I was supposed to be moving out of my dorm that weekened, meeting older Sorors, going to my bff's graduation, and the graduation dinners of about 5 different people. Friday morning the raindrops began to fall...my mother called me in a tissy at 8 am in the morning telling me that I needed to find out which hospital my grandfather was going to and hurry because his wife was dying. Now, I know this may sound a bit curt but I never did like the bitch so it was rather interesting mustering up energy to get out bed that early but I did it for my grandpops. So I found the hospital, Washington Hospital Center, found intensive care and the Kindle room. Waiting were her grandchildren, sister, neices, and my uncle and grandfather pretty much all people who were sad that she was so ill. Whatever...the drama began when I went down to the gift shop and brought a Sprite, sipped some, then put it in my carry-all purse. When I get up to the weeping ...ahem, "waiting" room I realized my cold drink was leaking! It had spilled on my phone and within hours my cellular phone was caput (the third time within a year!) So then I knew trying to get my already irresponsible uncle, who actually worked in the PunchOut my first two years, to help move me out without a cell phone was going to be virtually impossible. I struggled to pack my belongings but keeping my computer on just so I had some contact to the outside world through AIM. After missing graduation, my bestfriend's graduation dinner (along with a host of others), and the first opportunity to move out my belongings from the dorm (which I was supposed to be out of the next day at noon)... I finally found a phone to get in touch w/ my uncle and some magical way an RA came to my room and told me they were waiting downstairs for me. Just as we were taking the things into my grandmother's it started to rain cats and dogs...it was a mess! And I found out that my grandfather's wife had indeed died, which I could believe because when I saw her the day before she had that deer in the headlights look in her eyes and she was fighting, probably the devil but only God knows that. The next day I had to figure out who was going to help me with the last bit of belongings I had...most people I would've called were either out of town, with their mothers, or tending to the dead bitch, excuse me I mean..."witch". So I immediately knew my plans to go home to Atlanta were postponed and that I would miss out on the AUC's infamous "Senior Week". Damn! Then the next day as I struggled to get all the rest of my belongings out of my dorm by noon (mind you I woke up at 10:30 as my alarm clock magically dissappeared), with no one to watch my belongings as I load them out, and wondering who was actually going to pick me up. It was a mess! Luckily my dear friend Michael watched my stuff for me (for hours at that) and let me use his phone on the hour! He was definitely the best thing that happened to me that entire weekend. My grandmother finally came to the rescue though she fussed all the while and I had to throw away my beloved floor lamp that had dimmers! ugh...I still get sick thinking about it. Then I was there at my grandma's for days...no numbers besides the ones I could get from my voicemail and phonebook, no internet, therefore no email, no cable. After a few days of that its reminiscent of That 70's Show which is NOT fun to actually live in. THEN...on top of allllllllll of that that my father get admitted into the hospital. I couldn't friggin' win for losing! To top it all off I had to sit in a 3 hour long FUNERAL for a woman who seemingly hated my guts! Well, I actually did that out of love for my grandfather...but ce la vie. I guess everyday can't be sunshine and freshed baked brownies...



Now Playing: Umbrella- Rihanna feat. Jigga


PS: just so you know things did get better I'm finally home and have a brand new white chocolate lg phone!

EVIAN, PLEASE?!

I should be packing my life away right now but the fact of the matter is that I'm not because I felt as though I needed to pause for the cause and talk about the things that are really making me say, "wow". I got an invitation (Facebook invite on at that, I know it's convienient but Hallmark is always the classy way to go) to a baby shower to a girl who I, one haven't seen in over a year, didn't know was pregnant, nor married. Ain't that a trip?! I've written on her wall inquiring her whereabouts and a whole year of being missing in action she pops up not only with a husband, or at least I think she's married I haven't seen no wedding pictures or anything but I'm trusting that she's sincerely married and not bs-ing as people do on le' Facebook, but a bun in the oven! Should I just start drinking Deer Park and Dasani? It really seems like this pregnancy thing is in the tap! Everyone knows I CAN'T WAIT to have kids but damn I don't know about right now...I'm trying to have my house, 2 car garage, husband and everything before I start my family. I definitely respect those of my friends who have decided to step up to the plate and take care of their responsibility but it seems like a lot of people are being irresponsible in the bedroom these days. My mother always told me that people in college would come and go if not because of money, because of babies. I must say as a rising senior- it is certainly true. When I think about it most of our parents had us when they were in their early 20's and all of my friends are in their early 20's. I just guess it's just weird that we're at the age where we're mommies and daddies and doing just what our parents did. My first instinct is to react as if it's *gasp* "teen pregnancy"...but truthfully it's not. We're adults now whether we realize it or not. Having a kid is on hell of a reality check! One new life I am excited about is ZOE AMARIS! She's gonna be the shit...


Now Playing: Charlene- Anthony Hamilton

Back in The Day

Remember in high school when you'd stay on the phone for hours with your crush. Your heart would flutter everytime you saw that person or their number would come up on the caller ID. Instead of feeling like a junior in college I feel like I'm right back in my momma's house and only a 16 year old junior in high school. I've only had a diluted sensation of those intense butterflies the past year. It seems as all of my collegiate relationships have been very serious and intense - very adult so it feels nice to have a school girl crush again. To have things be easy breezy and not complicated or laden with drama. I love the feeling of wondering when the next time I'll see him or he'll call as opposed to awaiting the next argument. Falling asleep on the phone and then arguing about who will be the first to hang up ...I know this post seems juvenile but that's because it is and is meant to be. I hope it joggs your memory and takes you back too.

Now Playing: C R U S H- Ciara

It is 7am on a Sunday morning and I am just now arriving back to my dorm. I have not had a night like this since I was in high school and it seemed as if I had not one single care in the world. Needless to say it feels great to be able to have things revert back that to some degree. When I tell you we party hopped...we party hopped! This is all this post will say...it's definitely a sign of the times- school is OWT!


Now Playing: Naughty Girl - Beyonce

My Thoughts of Late on Twiddling My Thumbs

No, I'm not literally twindling my thumbs but I am in my mind. I've accomplished all my goals while at Howard with a year to spare! What am I to do now? What more to conquer?

I have done it ALL

Excelled in my major (check)

Basically ran shit (check check and check -see resume)
Had my own Girl Scout Troop, yes that was a goal (check)
Did THE Fashion Show (Homecoming - the one that matters most, let's not pretend) (Check 2x -I'm doing it again in 07')

Pledged the most revered woman's organization not only on campus but in the world (DELTA...really sounds good to me:) (CHECK!)

So now...The question is - what to strive for now? I tried striving for a bomb internship in New York and came a day late and a dollar short. You know what...I think that's it. Turn my collegiate success into my life's success. I guess I've conquered everything at Howard- now the record has begun to skip. Only thing left to do on campus is to be the best student, friend, and Delta I can be and to strive for that which is HIGHER than whatever there is to do here at Howard. This time next year I'll be saying my good-bye's to good ole' HU without any regrets. Whatever I wanted- I went for it despite whether the odds were for or against me. I wouldn't change anything about my matriculation through The Hilltop. It's been a looooooooooooooong time coming (or so it seemed when I was on my way) and know I've finally reached the point where I can say "ahhhhh"- I have arrived! Now let's just make sure this fashion show is HAUTE and this is the best year ever for Alpha Chapter.

Now Playing: Teach Me- Musiq

Nikki Says it Best

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/19/vtech.shooting/index.html

The Trouble with Being Crazy In Love

When we love do we ever evaluate whether we're loving just a little too hard? The massacre at Virginia Tech all stemed from love gone awry. We all need to be much more careful when evaluating those we engage in relationships with, how we treat people, and how we prevent tragedies like this from occuring. While no one is to blame except for Cho Seung-Hui, the killer and ex-boyfriend. "[]Seung-Hui said Monday's massacre on the Virginia Tech campus could have been avoided and said 'you forced me into a corner...You had a hundred billion chances and ways to have avoided today,' Cho said in one of the videos that aired Wednesday night on NBC. 'But you decided to spill my blood. You forced me into a corner and gave me only one option. The decision was yours. Now you have blood on your hands that will never wash off.'"
At what point do we check our own sanity or the sanity of others? When love is strong enough to kill then it's no longer love.
After watching the video of Seung-Hui I really believe his soul was tormented by shame and embarassment and he felt like he had to do what he did. While I'm not making excuses for him - I always did feel sympathy for those constantly picked on and never accepted.We really have to be careful on how we treat people. You never know what might be going on inside. That person you toss off to the side just may be waiting on your careless action to go and kill themselves or better yet 33 other people and then themselves. What happened at Virginia Tech was tragic but how can we each do our part in helping to prevent people from feeling so low that they go and kill innocent people?

Guess it Can't All Be R a i n b o w s and Heartbeats

So...I didn't get the internship with Teen Vogue. I suppose that would have been one too many perfect things going on in my life. I won't even lie..I was super hurt (or as hurt as a up and coming fashion journalist could be) ...I mean anyone who knows me knows that NO ONE...and I do mean ...NO ONE loves Teen Vogue as much as I do.
You know what I blame this on? The Hills! If people weren't glued to their television set every week feeding into the facade that MTV is selling then there wouldn't have been as many applicants and I would have gotten the position. Damn you LC! You didn't even go to France ...(yes, I'm still mad about that one!) There just aren't enough jobs to go around - well, jobs in Teen Vogue's fashion department anyway :( I think the fact that I actually got so close to getting it makes it even worse. Going to the closet, sitting in the office, seeing the other iterns do what I so longed to do (you know...fold, wrap, hang, steam etc). Oh God...the heartache. I'm seriously sad ya'll. I know it sounds petty but it just seemed like destiny since I had sent resumes and cover letters to soooo many other places and only the one place I truly wanted to work called me back - TEEN muthafukin' VOGUE! Yes, life does go on and I will continue to be a "Beast" (as Z. Morrow would call me) but for tonight I let a tear roll down my cheek for what could have been with my beloved Teen Vogue. People say that is it speaks volumes that I even got an interview but honestly that still hasn't landed me anywhere...I just pray they make room for me in 1.5 years!

In going out I'll leave with the wretched rejection email...

Hi Yasmine-Thanks for taking the initiative to apply to be an intern. It was great to meet you and your resume looked great as well but we had so many candidates apply and very few spots to fill. Unfortunately I can't offer you an internship at this time.
Good luck with your future endeavors,
JWD
TeenVOGUE

PS: anyone have any ideas on where I can get a bangin dress for Bison Ball- preferably in RED?


Now Playing: Peachtree Blues - Janelle Monae

Dreams Do Come True...I'm Living Proof!

I know you all have been wondering where I've been the last two months. Well, I was becoming a DevaSTating Lady of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc! It felt like forever and it was hard as ever and I never want to pledge again but I'm happy I did and live to tell (well, actually I won't be telling anything so don't ask Delta business is Delta business and that ain't no joke) the story. It was a long hard road to Delta but I'm proud to be a Neophyte and apart of Sedulous 35 and in the same chapter, Alpha, as the 22 Illustrious Founders. Yay me!

While my life has been an example of the "work" of Delta it felt good to be OWT this weekend and finally feel the social aspect of Delta life. I'm not gonna lie...doing a party through the crowd felt great.

Among other new occurances I had an interview with Teen Vogue's fashion assistant, James DeMolet for an internship with the Fashion Department this summer. Can we spell..."dreamcometrue?" OMG...anyone who knows me knows how obsessed with Teen Vogue (even before The Hills)...If I get this internship life would be PERFECTO!

So, for you that asked...yes my dreams do come true because I work damn hard to make them a reality. 2007 really will be the Year of Yasmine Part Deaux :)

Now Playing: All I Do - Nivea

The Blueprint for Evolution







This is the finest display of reinvention since Madonna.

Cee-lo Green has shown himself to be someone who has continued to remain relevant in the music industry. He performed "Crazy" at the Grammy's last night like it was the frickin' National Athem. Just amazing! He's changed his image and appeal, without negleting his core audience. He's now appealing to wider group of music lovers without selling out! It's a beautiful thing people it really is. "Ya'll are sleep and I'm trying to wake you the fuck up!" (a quote from The Smoking Aces- I know it didn't fit...I just really wanted to use it!)While he's always been very creative and a little eccentric, he has truly come into his own. From Soul Food and Goodie Mob to St. Elsewhere and Gnarls Barkley...Cee-lo Green is friggin amazing and has evolved into this uber cool icon without loosing his street cred (although, his daughter, Sierra, on my Super Sweet Sixteen almost got his card revoked!)

Now Playing: Closet Freak - Cee-lo

I KNOW ALL WHITE PEOPLE AREN'T EVIL BUT...
sometimes it's REALLY easy to forget that. Last night I watched an HBO movie about the Japanese internment camps during World War II. Over 120,000 of Japanese-America was relocated to this "outdoor prisons." 62% of these people were citizens of the United States. They made people leave their homes, businesses, split up families to these "War Relocation Centers" all in the name of seeing who was loyal to a country that had NEVER been loyal to them. In the film there was an Asian family and of course there was one son who wanted to go along with the rules, stand by America, and let things float along with the system and there was another son who was more militant named Charlie. He made the most profound statement in the entire film, "We stopped being Americans the second the barbed wire went up." To some degree ALL minorities in America have experienced this. Whites use you to build the country, win olympic titles in its name, keep the rowdy coloreds at bay, pacify militant minds and supsicion...but at the end of the day AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP is negotiable. Every minority in this country has had there loyalty and/or citizenship up on the chopping block. People always say, NIGGAS AINT SHIT...WELP, CRACKERS AINT SHIT NEITHER because THEY have been doing fucked up shit since Christopher Columbus! Europeans didn't bring 'civilization' to America, they brought disease, death, and Thanksgiving.
Let's go down the list of fucked up shit they've done.
1. African "Americans" ...400 years of fucking SLAVERY! Plus another 100+ years of unabashed racism
2. Native "Americans" ...how do you spell, "STONE COLD ROBBERY?!" ...Trail of tears anyone...We all live and breath on their land and where do they live? RESERVATIONS IN OKLAHOMA and own casinos for WHITE people to have fun in
3. Japanese "Americans" ...INTERNMENT CAMPS? Constant stereotyping, jokes at their expense...
4. Hispanic "Americans" ...first of all...the title in itself is RACIST as fuck...Clearly, each "hispanic" person has his OWN nationality. IF they are from Cuba...They're CUBAN AMERICAN....Columbia? COLUMBIAN AMERICAN...Though they may share similarities...such as a basic language but the food, specific culture, dialect DIFFERENT...SHIT!
Who's next? Middle Easterners...and "Hispanics" have alot further to go in there pledging process to join the USA.
Oh yea, AND its their FAULT we have The Bloods and The Crips....they're the bastard of children of The Black Panther Party which WAS ONLY started to combat the terrorism of whites in BLACK America! I'm not one of those people who blame Whites for each and every misfortune of minority people but truth be told THEY HAVE ALOT to do with it. I truly want to know, what a white man thinks about when he wakes up in the morning. I know its definitely not the same thing I think about as a double minority. What makes them sooooo prone (i didn't want to use the word "inherently) to being so God Darn EVIL?

Now Reading: The Isis Papers by Dr. Frances Cress Welsing

A Fine Line Between Mockery and Hilarity (this and that)

This is the infamous...MySpace/YouTube local celebrity Chris Crocker. I'm choosing to laugh. Though his inspiration isn't so funny and it's actually an abomination to "REAL" black women. (oh yea...did he say "nigga"?!)

Now watching: The White Rapper on VH1
PS: as you can see i have a new found obsession with youtube!

Finding My Focus

For the second time in 2007 I went to church. While I no longer make resolutions in the new year, I do create goals for myself. One of my goals is to find a church home here in DC. At home I enjoy and am challenged by the message of Bishop Eddie Long at New Birth Cathedral. Yea, it's one of those black mega churches and that's a controversial subject in itself. HOWEVER, he's always met me where I am in my life and teaches on subject matters pertaining to things that not only apply to me now but guides me to where I want to be not only spiritually but in every aspect of my life. (and for anyone who wants to say he cheats the congregation out of their money...half of them make more than him...it's a BLESSED church)I've been going to church with my Aunt mostly for the past 3 years and I've really only been going because it's the right thing to do. But truthfully, I learned about Daniel and the Lion's Den long ago. It really just really wasn't feeding my spirit. Then I visited my cousin's church that she raves so much about...what's it called? From the Heart or something to that degree. It was okaaay but the minister talked to the simulcast the entire time which was distracting and then when they acknowledged the visitors they sang the cheesiest song I'd ever heard. From the Heart just wasn't in my heart so it was a no go...Then this evening I went to church right on Howard's campus. Something just wasn't right...too much shouting, hooping and hollering and not enough true to life Word. I'm not anti-old school style of church but I don't feel like a 4 hour church service is relevant to my life! Honestly I can't understand the message through all that hoopin' and hollerin'! That's so retro like those churches that are constantly having fish fry's and selling chicken dinners to raise money for a new air condition unit- I simply can't do it! Also, I got the most funny feeling while there...as if all the spirits present weren't quite Holy. The older I get the more of a discerning spirit I have grown. And I'm trusting my gut on this one...The search continues

Now Playing: Jesus On The Mainline (tell Him what you want!)

My Thoughts of Late on Friendship, Inspiration, My Vow to Blog More Often, and Being a True to Life Good Girl :)
(Current State: stuck in the snow at my aunt's, deep in the burbs of D.C. (mitchelleville/bowie if you cared to know) - mind you she has 335i BMW Coupe that she swears does not work in the snow ...maybe if I had something to do in the morning I'd be upset but la vie es belle so I don't and I am sucking up all this bougie Prince George's county air and chalking up the fully stocked fridge, lush beds, and jacuzzi for what it's worth!Now on to what I'm actually supposed to be writing about...)

I'm horrible at making friends. That's a God-honest fact! In most cases I'm super reserved around new faces, I'm almost terrified of strangers, and I'm not always the most friendly nor the most open person. However, for some strange reason I have my fair share of really great friends. I don't mean the kind of friends that come and go as they please but I have some true blue...super trooper type crew...It's mind blowing to think about. With many friends comes many personalities- and with people come flaws- flaws that I'm beginning to notice and having to deal with. Sounds crazy I know...silly even but it always suprising me when I discover my friend's tragic flaws. I recently inducted new friends into my circle (most friends I've had for over 5 years), and for the past 6 mos. they're flaws have gone virtually unnoticed.

...Now, I can't say the same. Though, when you're attached at the hip with someone...always being associated with that same one...and also always have people talk about how close you are (whether they know or they think they know ...) it becomes alot to handle. It's a lethal overdose for even the best of friendships. Now I've found myself backing away from my friend and taking it in like a super hot cup of cocoa...being careful not to burn myself or her with the nerves that she can really pluck.
Are girlfriends becoming the new boyfriends? Should we keep our friendships on the low just so people don't pre-label what we are? Am I horrible for shying away from the term bestfriend, even though I love the person dearly and hang out ALOT with them? Am I THE ONE AFRAID OF COMMITMENT? Idunno...you tell me.

But here's one think I do know, I'm gonna keep juggling friends like clowns juggle bowling pins. I'm definitely a Girl Scout at heart I "make new friends but keep the old...one is silver and the other's gold" ...I'm just not up for promoting someone from silver to gold before they've faired their time.


In other news. I've been feeling so inspired lately...I'm thinking it has something to do with my Fashion Illustration II class. Professor Vernon really knows how to pull out my creative side and charges me to dig deep to find out what and who I'm all about. I love it and I can't wait to live the colors I see in my mind out in life. The people around me have been a true source of inspiration as well...everyone is hustling their prospective mojos and it's a beautiful thing. Soon you all will see...I've got something brewing in my pot (just ask Farren Hinton:)

About blogging. Some people blog waaaaaaaaay too fucking much in my opinion. How do you have time to live life if you're always on the damn internet? What do you truly have to write about? I'd rather write less with more substance than write everyday and have my ramblings loose it's appeal. I'd like to think of my posts as something similar to The Charlie Brown Christmas Special (someone please remind me who I was talking to when I said this silly shit and remind me why it was soooo hilarious) ...see, the reason it's so great to watch is because it doesn't come on that often. My blog is appealing is because there is an anticipation that comes along with waiting on a new post. I'm not saying I intentionally go great legnths of time without blogging...but what I am saying is I'm busy living life in 3D. And nothign can replace that. Though, I do like to please others so I do plan on writing a bit more in this new year. HAPPY NOW?

The other night I was talking to one of my most in'sync guy friends and he was reading me my sexology (I'm a virgo) and it was talking about how the virgo woman, me in this case, is a true good girl- no matter how hard she fights to dispell the myth. While I was a bit uncertain of the validity of the book's claims ...I'm certain now.

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 40%

Sloth: 40%

Pride: 20%

Gluttony: 0%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.

Only a 14% chance of going to hell? I'm an ANGEL!


Now Playing: Dreamgirls- The Dreams (Dreamgirls OST)

I was a revolutionary. In middle and high school, I clung tight to my "blackness" ...owned it, sold it every opportunity I had. When we had to do biographies on an american hero, I did Malcolm X. We had a compare and contrast paper to do in English...I argued that the Klu Klux Klan couldn't be compared to the Black Panther Party because the KKK was a fraternal organization and the BPP was a political party. In the 7th grade we had to draw and color this guy named Strevenski upside down...mine was Black! (0nly one ever made:) When Bush ran against Gore...I argued on behalf of the Democratic party in Government. When it was time for debates I was Pro-Affirmative Action...Pro-choice in a Southern, Predominately White, Conservative, Christian School.

In the 8th grade I had to memorize a poem to recite to my class and this is what I chose. I began my love affair with who I like to call, Nikki G.. I love her. She's womanly, powerful, real, gritty, and eloquent all in the same line. To this day, each time I read this poem I 1. laugh at how adult it was for the circumstance 2 . feel proud of my revolutionary ways and 3. am happy to be me

WOMAN

she wanted to be a blade of grass amid the fields

but he wouldn't agree to be the dandelion
she wanted to be a robin singing through the leaves

but he refused to be her tree
she spun herself into a web

and looking for a place to rest turned to him

but he stood straight declining to be her corner
she tried to be a book

but he wouldn't read
she turned herself into a bulb

but he wouldn't let her grow
she decided to become a woman

and though he still refused to be a man

she decided it was all right
-Nikki Giovanni

Now Reading : Cotton Candy On A Rainy Day, Nikki Giovanni

Since It's Sunday...

I figured I'd do a religious post.I guess a bit silly too, just to start your week off right. Have you ever been in church and been worshiping next to a horrid singer? Were you tempted to laugh or embarassed that their frail notes distracted you soooo much? What's even worse is when the children's choir singer isn't so cute...you should really feel ashamed for laughing at the kids! The worst of all is laughing at the regular choir...I mean, they get your service started off right...go from high to low...praise to worship. So when they pick Keke, who's only allowed to be in choir because she has "such heart", to sing lead the only result can be trecherous...