Friday, September 16, 2005

Sometimes Others Can Say it Better Than you Could Ever Articulate

Mhmn bye bye
How do you love someone
That hurts you oh so bad
With intentions good
Was all he ever had
But how do I let go when I've
Loved him for so long and I've
Given him all that I could
Maybe love is a hopeless crime
Giving up what seems your lifetime
What went wrong with something once so good
How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
When your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye
I know now I was naiveNever knew where this would lead
And I'm not trying to take away
From the good man that he is
But how do I let go when I've
Loved him for so long and I've
Given him all that I could
Was it something wrong that we did
Because others infiltrated
What went wrong with something once so good
How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
When your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye
Is this the end ...are you sure
How should you know when you've never been here beforeIt's so hard to just let go
When this is the one and only love I've ever known
So, how do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
When your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye
"Goodbye" Alicia Keys *thanks yanna'*

You know ...if I knew back then what I know now, I'd still do it all again. However next time, I'd just stick to being friends. I'd keep my girls out of my decision making and I'd keep my guard up for just awhile longer until I was sure my love was requainted. Now maybe it's because of my feminine wyles...but I knew he'd be special from the day I ever spoke his name. But never would I have ever guessed that things would take the turn that they seemingly have...granted, I've been accused of taking things too seriously but its rediculous how we dont talk that much, how when we're in the same proximity those warm feelings that were once so present have vanished and replaced with cold awkwardness. I never imagined a day where an embrace would be out of the question...I miss those hugs. Who knew?
I dont mean to harp on the same subject, but a week without him can seem kinda' of bland. Sure, my times been filled with multiple meetings, model calls, studying, and hilltopics but its something that a quick sweet conversation can add. Its the little things I miss that you take for granted until they're not there. I'm nost saying I dont understand why things went the way they did because I do. He was taking up too much brain space...while that wasnt good, I didnt want him to be totally banished from my life. I mean he's here...technically but it's like that old song, "your body's here but your minds on the other side of town". Its kinda like a corpse...it's here but the spirits not. He's here but talking to him I get minimun response, no voice inflection, no emotion, nothing...just coldness. Does he hate me? How'd I ever let myself get to this point...never again will I EVER be this concerned.

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