"Clouds and Whipped Cream"...
sometimes that's all it really is.

When I was a kid I thought that clouds were something you could hold. Something like cotton that levated up in the sky. Then I took my first plane ride and realized that it was merely a "visible mass of condensed droplets, frozen crystals suspended in the atmosphere above the surface of the earth." We flew through them as if they had no weight, they were nothing. Much of the same thing is whipped cream. When atop a dessert one can certainly be lead to believe that that whipped cream is in fact vanilla ice cream. I hate whipped cream for that very reason. Anytime I'm eating my favorite brownie a la mode at The Diner I must say "hold the whipped cream" because I hate being mislead. I hate believing that the whipped cream is something that its not. It looks too similar to the ice cream.

Do you smell what I'm stepping in? Do you see where I am going?
Not yet?
Fair Enough...

In life so many things are not what they seem. Looking at something (may it be a person, experience, thing) you may think it has so much depth, or its so extraordinary- when the fact of the matter is that its not. And then you have to live with that deceit. Its like coming down on the whipped cream on a spoon or flying through a cloud and realizing that there's nothing truly there. Or better yet what is there isn't worth the hype.


Now Playing: Cute - Canton Jones

Countdown to Meltdown.



Its 80 days until Homecoming. 289 days, 19 hours, 52 minutes and 57 seconds to graduation and the pressure is ON FULL BLAST. Christmas Break my junior year my aunt tells me that my mother has asked her to begin the planning stages of my graduation party. Normally when the world party is involved I am immediately excited however, who's to say that at that point I would even graduate on time? Now, 8 months later I have the same tiny fear. Don't get me wrong, I am scheduled for an on time commencement. However there are other factors involved...well one mainly. PASSING. Normally I wouldn't be all too concerned about that because except for a math class and one physical eduation that I never (no, not even once.) attended, I've never actually failed a class. However this year I'm going up against principles of reasoning which I hear is a beast no matter who you take. Mind you I'm a pretty good writer and thinker as well so I'm not sure what's so hard about it. But I've seen the class take people in and spit them them right back out again. Plus, I have statistics too! I've got to pass...there is no room for for anything else. I have to graduate ....ON TIME or it will be the death of me. Literally.

As far as Homecoming Goes...Its like my child. Each year coming up with a concept and seeing your vision grow, change, and come alive at the end. Comprise can be so frustrating and doing the remedial tasks like drafting agreements can be annoying. But its coming up quick and no stone can be left uncovered. Oh yea, let me just say if we're ever out please don't feel obligated to introduce me as the coordinator of the Howard Homecoming Fashion Show coordinator. It's sorta' annoying. For one, most people don't care. For two, those that do care will find out on their own. For three, if I would like for them to know I'll send them my resume or bring up in natural conversation. All that other stuff is so unnecessary. I feel the same way about Delta and being at Howard for that matter. It's so corny to me to give a random person your verbal resume every single time you shake their hand. I'm really big on networking but showboating has NEVER been my steez.

I've been thinking that I could really make something of this fashion show production business. I've been getting calls lately to help out with different shows around DC and Atlanta and I'm thinking I could make this my thing. I know its sounds silly that I'm just now thinking this but there really is a market for fashion show production. I've finally what to put on my business card. I know it's a sin or whatnot to not have a business card, but I never really had the "right" title for mine. I'm getting there ya'll....all in God's timing.

Now Playing: You Must Love Me- Jay-Z

Case of The X

So here I am. Back on my soapbox. Sitting here at work (http://www.stellableu.com be on the lookout for our new online boutique!). Bored, eating my strawberry lemon water ice from next door trying to avoid the ever dreaded brain freeze. I've been pondering this subject for a minute now, it's really been bothering me and I've been trying to figure out why. I think I've got it. They've all got one (men that is)...
"Got what?" you ask...
An Ex-girlfriend!
And I hate them all dearly.
It's just a matter of time before they rear their suprisingly beautiful head up in each and every relationship. Now, when I meet a guy and we start getting to know each other I just countdown in my head until she reveals herself because unless he's still unabashadley mourning over her - he'll try to hide the fact that she's still there. It's okay though...she'll make herself known. Unnecessary/obnoxious Myspace/Facebook posts referencing past experienes. Constant text messages. Random emails/voicemails .....She's relentless.
Every guy has one. Whether is past relationship ended good or bad, she's still there and still affects him one way or another. She's the reason he has commitment issues...she's the reason he can never spend the night...she's the reason he does this or won't do that. Its frustrating really, how this person from the past has so much precedence in his present.
What's even crazier is that while I hate ex-girlfriends....I am an ex-girlfriend. Every woman is and each of us has had a hard time letting go. We all have reaked havoc on our ex's life in some way or another...Whether we felt like he was always going to be there despite his new girlfriend, or maybe we wanted to give it another try, or we remained "friends" that make uncomfortable references in the presence of others about our past. We've all been guilty of being that blasted ex that just won't accept the fact that she is just that. An Ex.



My Love- Ciara

Bearing Your Daily Cross

I've never been uber religious (which used to get me in big trouble at my Christian high school) but I do have a strong sense of who and what God is to me. I definitely believe that everyone has a burden to bear ...a daily cross to wear on your back...your personal protest....what you alone must fight for in your life. I think I have figured mine out. Some kinda' way I got mixed in with the "role model" pile. I was just living my life trying to do my thing and the next thing I know I have godsisters, cousins, and family friends looking to me (.....................................................................excuse me while i help the 3 self-proclaimed "faggies try on our women's Joe's Cigarette cut jeans........................................................................................) as an example of what to do - may it be right or wrong. Growing up I always looked to my mother's bestfriend's daughter, Chante' for all that was cool and worthy in life. Chante' was a lot like me... short, cute, and stylish- she cheered, had great grades, popular, and super lovable. I loved coming to DC and being her miniature sidekick- anything Tae' did I wanted to do too. What I've learned is that I'm now someone else's Chante'. I have my own league of proteges now to help mold into women of purpose. I know this is a really random thing to blog about but I feel a great deal of responsibilty to be a good role model and I definitely think about that on a regular basis. I have come to realize that this is my daily cross to bear. I'm not sure who said this but I definitely agree with them..."I do this for the people."

now playing: prototype- andre 3000

Bag Brotha'

So, clearly I'm on the job being non-compliant but I'm just too excited that the Internet is finally working here that I couldn't help to update my readers on this so called fabulous life. I apologize for the delay in posts but I'm not really near a working computer regularly...its kinda messed up my cyber life but too much facebook and myspace is beginning to breed losers so I guess it's okay by me. Remember that Erykah Badu song, "Bag Lady"? She should have made a remix called, "Bag Brotha'" because all the guys I'm running into lately have soooo many hang-ups about women, girlfriends that are only part-time, or ex girlfriends that are really full time lovers. Who knew it was like this? Where was I when every other woman was figuring out that they all were the same the closer toward the end you got? Baggage is a very feminine trait ...or at least that's how I feel. What happened to other young people like myself? Carefree...easy going...not up for a lot of drama - really I just want someone that's open, easy to talk to, and attractive *too many time people try to front like they don't have to be attracted physically...well, I'll be the FIRST one to say. The brother needs to be FINE*
The more I think about it, I've always had some guy occupying my time energy. A permanent date of sorts...but now that I'm looking a little further outside my window it's looking a bit gloomy. Everyone seems to have issues surrounding them. "Oh, so and so he's a nice guy but ( Fill in the appropriate tragic downfall) " It's disturbing really...how can people so young be so filled with stress and angst. Who took their cookie? I've had my fair share of ups and downs, successes and heartbreaks ...some of which I've blogged about but never would I allow myself to be so wounded by life's hardships that I couldn't see a good thing coming. I'm definitely trying not to be one of those angry uber realist black women that think all men are either uneducated, in jail, or gay and if they're "good" then they're already taken however I'm starting think my strong black sistas *snaps* might have a point. For now though I'll continue to believe the world is my oyster and anything I desire is there for me to have ...eligible men included. After all, ignorance is bliss isn't it? Let's hope so.


Free- Mya