A Fine Line Between Mockery and Hilarity (this and that)

This is the infamous...MySpace/YouTube local celebrity Chris Crocker. I'm choosing to laugh. Though his inspiration isn't so funny and it's actually an abomination to "REAL" black women. (oh yea...did he say "nigga"?!)

Now watching: The White Rapper on VH1
PS: as you can see i have a new found obsession with youtube!

Finding My Focus

For the second time in 2007 I went to church. While I no longer make resolutions in the new year, I do create goals for myself. One of my goals is to find a church home here in DC. At home I enjoy and am challenged by the message of Bishop Eddie Long at New Birth Cathedral. Yea, it's one of those black mega churches and that's a controversial subject in itself. HOWEVER, he's always met me where I am in my life and teaches on subject matters pertaining to things that not only apply to me now but guides me to where I want to be not only spiritually but in every aspect of my life. (and for anyone who wants to say he cheats the congregation out of their money...half of them make more than him...it's a BLESSED church)I've been going to church with my Aunt mostly for the past 3 years and I've really only been going because it's the right thing to do. But truthfully, I learned about Daniel and the Lion's Den long ago. It really just really wasn't feeding my spirit. Then I visited my cousin's church that she raves so much about...what's it called? From the Heart or something to that degree. It was okaaay but the minister talked to the simulcast the entire time which was distracting and then when they acknowledged the visitors they sang the cheesiest song I'd ever heard. From the Heart just wasn't in my heart so it was a no go...Then this evening I went to church right on Howard's campus. Something just wasn't right...too much shouting, hooping and hollering and not enough true to life Word. I'm not anti-old school style of church but I don't feel like a 4 hour church service is relevant to my life! Honestly I can't understand the message through all that hoopin' and hollerin'! That's so retro like those churches that are constantly having fish fry's and selling chicken dinners to raise money for a new air condition unit- I simply can't do it! Also, I got the most funny feeling while there...as if all the spirits present weren't quite Holy. The older I get the more of a discerning spirit I have grown. And I'm trusting my gut on this one...The search continues

Now Playing: Jesus On The Mainline (tell Him what you want!)

My Thoughts of Late on Friendship, Inspiration, My Vow to Blog More Often, and Being a True to Life Good Girl :)
(Current State: stuck in the snow at my aunt's, deep in the burbs of D.C. (mitchelleville/bowie if you cared to know) - mind you she has 335i BMW Coupe that she swears does not work in the snow ...maybe if I had something to do in the morning I'd be upset but la vie es belle so I don't and I am sucking up all this bougie Prince George's county air and chalking up the fully stocked fridge, lush beds, and jacuzzi for what it's worth!Now on to what I'm actually supposed to be writing about...)

I'm horrible at making friends. That's a God-honest fact! In most cases I'm super reserved around new faces, I'm almost terrified of strangers, and I'm not always the most friendly nor the most open person. However, for some strange reason I have my fair share of really great friends. I don't mean the kind of friends that come and go as they please but I have some true blue...super trooper type crew...It's mind blowing to think about. With many friends comes many personalities- and with people come flaws- flaws that I'm beginning to notice and having to deal with. Sounds crazy I know...silly even but it always suprising me when I discover my friend's tragic flaws. I recently inducted new friends into my circle (most friends I've had for over 5 years), and for the past 6 mos. they're flaws have gone virtually unnoticed.

...Now, I can't say the same. Though, when you're attached at the hip with someone...always being associated with that same one...and also always have people talk about how close you are (whether they know or they think they know ...) it becomes alot to handle. It's a lethal overdose for even the best of friendships. Now I've found myself backing away from my friend and taking it in like a super hot cup of cocoa...being careful not to burn myself or her with the nerves that she can really pluck.
Are girlfriends becoming the new boyfriends? Should we keep our friendships on the low just so people don't pre-label what we are? Am I horrible for shying away from the term bestfriend, even though I love the person dearly and hang out ALOT with them? Am I THE ONE AFRAID OF COMMITMENT? Idunno...you tell me.

But here's one think I do know, I'm gonna keep juggling friends like clowns juggle bowling pins. I'm definitely a Girl Scout at heart I "make new friends but keep the old...one is silver and the other's gold" ...I'm just not up for promoting someone from silver to gold before they've faired their time.


In other news. I've been feeling so inspired lately...I'm thinking it has something to do with my Fashion Illustration II class. Professor Vernon really knows how to pull out my creative side and charges me to dig deep to find out what and who I'm all about. I love it and I can't wait to live the colors I see in my mind out in life. The people around me have been a true source of inspiration as well...everyone is hustling their prospective mojos and it's a beautiful thing. Soon you all will see...I've got something brewing in my pot (just ask Farren Hinton:)

About blogging. Some people blog waaaaaaaaay too fucking much in my opinion. How do you have time to live life if you're always on the damn internet? What do you truly have to write about? I'd rather write less with more substance than write everyday and have my ramblings loose it's appeal. I'd like to think of my posts as something similar to The Charlie Brown Christmas Special (someone please remind me who I was talking to when I said this silly shit and remind me why it was soooo hilarious) ...see, the reason it's so great to watch is because it doesn't come on that often. My blog is appealing is because there is an anticipation that comes along with waiting on a new post. I'm not saying I intentionally go great legnths of time without blogging...but what I am saying is I'm busy living life in 3D. And nothign can replace that. Though, I do like to please others so I do plan on writing a bit more in this new year. HAPPY NOW?

The other night I was talking to one of my most in'sync guy friends and he was reading me my sexology (I'm a virgo) and it was talking about how the virgo woman, me in this case, is a true good girl- no matter how hard she fights to dispell the myth. While I was a bit uncertain of the validity of the book's claims ...I'm certain now.

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 40%

Sloth: 40%

Pride: 20%

Gluttony: 0%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.

Only a 14% chance of going to hell? I'm an ANGEL!


Now Playing: Dreamgirls- The Dreams (Dreamgirls OST)

I was a revolutionary. In middle and high school, I clung tight to my "blackness" ...owned it, sold it every opportunity I had. When we had to do biographies on an american hero, I did Malcolm X. We had a compare and contrast paper to do in English...I argued that the Klu Klux Klan couldn't be compared to the Black Panther Party because the KKK was a fraternal organization and the BPP was a political party. In the 7th grade we had to draw and color this guy named Strevenski upside down...mine was Black! (0nly one ever made:) When Bush ran against Gore...I argued on behalf of the Democratic party in Government. When it was time for debates I was Pro-Affirmative Action...Pro-choice in a Southern, Predominately White, Conservative, Christian School.

In the 8th grade I had to memorize a poem to recite to my class and this is what I chose. I began my love affair with who I like to call, Nikki G.. I love her. She's womanly, powerful, real, gritty, and eloquent all in the same line. To this day, each time I read this poem I 1. laugh at how adult it was for the circumstance 2 . feel proud of my revolutionary ways and 3. am happy to be me

WOMAN

she wanted to be a blade of grass amid the fields

but he wouldn't agree to be the dandelion
she wanted to be a robin singing through the leaves

but he refused to be her tree
she spun herself into a web

and looking for a place to rest turned to him

but he stood straight declining to be her corner
she tried to be a book

but he wouldn't read
she turned herself into a bulb

but he wouldn't let her grow
she decided to become a woman

and though he still refused to be a man

she decided it was all right
-Nikki Giovanni

Now Reading : Cotton Candy On A Rainy Day, Nikki Giovanni

Since It's Sunday...

I figured I'd do a religious post.I guess a bit silly too, just to start your week off right. Have you ever been in church and been worshiping next to a horrid singer? Were you tempted to laugh or embarassed that their frail notes distracted you soooo much? What's even worse is when the children's choir singer isn't so cute...you should really feel ashamed for laughing at the kids! The worst of all is laughing at the regular choir...I mean, they get your service started off right...go from high to low...praise to worship. So when they pick Keke, who's only allowed to be in choir because she has "such heart", to sing lead the only result can be trecherous...

Kicking and Screaming...

that's what I feel like doing right now. Though it never worked as I hoped it would when I was a child maybe throwing an adult temper tantrum will make the break a little longer. (though technically it's already ended) I'm simply not ready to go back. While my break was restful and I have been replenished (although after I saw my math grade I'm not so sure I should have been so tired)- I'm not sure if I'm ready for the rigors of a new semester. 2006 was soooo good to me, it has been hard for me to let go of the fact that is indeed, OVER...and inorder for this year to be just as good I'm going to have to work for it...ALL OVER AGAIN. It is truly tiring to think about! But ...ce la vie. On a more positive note, there are a few good things about a new semester...1. a fresh new start 2. new books and school supplies (don't act like I am the only one...with each new book, notepad, and pen you pray it will more understandable, contain better grades, and won't get lost). 3. transfer students...I love seeing new faces and seeing what fresh minds can bring to the table. 4. accomplishments...each semester someone you know accomplishes something- whether they pledge something, are appointed some position, win some election - it's always an exciting time- especially in the SPRING! While I hate that I have to leave my beloved home of Atlanta and all of my great friends...it has to be this way and I am excited to see all of my friends at school and to collect and exchange some tardy Christmas gifts!
PS: I will be doing the Heizman on all the haters this semester so don't even try it!

Now Playing : Heizman On Dat Hoe- Da' Heizman Boyz