Sunday, January 25, 2009

The first step to recovery

I was saw that a step to getting over heartache is to write a letter to the person and then keep it to yourself.  While I express myself best in written form I don't see the point in writing to a person that will never see how you feel. 
About two weeks ago one of my favorite linesisters called me to catch up. When we got to the topic of men I told her how there was no one that I was really into to and that I was casually entertaining a few people but nothing serious.  Then she brought up that one... the one who I would drop all others for, the one who still had a piece of me for better or worse. The one that I can't seem to harden my heart for.  I couldn't even fake it and act like he never crossed my mind then she asked "Are you like in love with him or something?" Now, an easy and obvious answer would be "yes" but with further consideration I believe that I'm more heartbroken over what didn't happen. While we did/do have amazing chemistry - that kind of love at first conversation but there was no grand love affair to miss. It's more like an itch that was never fully scratched. An unfinished entry is what makes me still intrigued. I believe that love, or the idea of it, unfulfilled is worse than a break-up. At least when you break up with someone there's a reason and an end point. When things just end with no fizzle or fire it leaves you an addict, wondering when and if things are going to pick up. I feel like I'm rambling but maybe someone feels me.

now playing: wish you loved me- tynisha keli

1 comment:

Alisha said...

I feel the same way Yas. It's been 6 months for me and for some reason, I keep going over things in mind as to why things didn't happen. It sucks so bad because I had amazing chemistry with him on every level, and the fact the it did not progress to a relationship sucks. I guess because I really do wear my heart on my sleeve. I need to wear a coat over my sleeve from now on, lol. Now, I need to get to the next step of recovery. Great entry Yasmine!! :0)