Today had to be one of the most random days everrrrrr.....
1. I get mysteriously taken off of the schedule of my job of three weeks
2. I'm proposed to by a random man at the G2 bus stop while waiting to go home after feeling 'fired'
3. I send an email to the regional sales manager and am hired again.

4. Receive an email from an admirer who saw my picture on Lenzism and said the following

I just saw a picture of you on Lenzism.com and you are a
beautiful girl. Your eyes make you look like a bright, smart, and
respectful woman. I know you know this but let me just say 'a person's
eyes are a window to their soul.' Grace me with your beautiful
presence and let me know you a little bit better and like Columbus let
us sail on a journey of each other's minds and see what it leads to.
In each other's eyes that is where we find ourselves as the eyes never
lie.

5. Am honest with myself and decide I really didn't feel like working a retail job anyway [no matter how smashing the products] and quit the job.

They couldn't write days like this if they wanted to!

PS: 6. There's a knock at the door, it's my rapper exboyfriend who I haven't heard from in almost 6 months stopping by because he was 'in the neighborhood' and saw my light on and plans to call me tomorrow. Who invited him back? OMG. Lord, days like this....

now playing: poison- bell biv devoe

Feelin' Froggy?

You know what's soooo weird? I don't want to be in a relationship. Like honestly, I don't for the first time in a minute. I'm comfortable with the life and dating style I currently have [oh yea, that striking barely lasted 24 hours]. At first I just didn't get why I had been giving the best that I got and no one seemed ready. Then I did some self reflection and after deciding that they might not all be fullofshitnogoodniggasthataintnevergonnadorightbyme, I could see that it's simply a bad time in life to be bunned up. The futures so foggy I can barely see where my next footstep will land. I'm not sure what the next 2 or 3 months hold for me, I'm not sure about where I'll be living, where I'll be working, what mood I'll be in, or what haircut I'll have..I don't know anything! It would just be the worst thing for me to bring someone into that blurry equation. i feel like a frog making a big leap off of a lily pad and afraid that i wont land flat on the next. I'm making a big jump in life but I'm not quite sure what I'm jumping into and though a boyfriend might be a source of security it could also sway decisions that don't need to have anyone else's influence but my own. I was so into having a boo, I couldn't even see that this was a bad time for me just as much as it is for them. The dating life is fun, it's nice to have things easy and breezy and can often me a glimpse of sunshine in a cloudy and uncertain reality. I dont know if you can tell but I'm really having post grad anxiety! It makes me nauseous just thinking about it.

On a less sickly note, I am looking forward to when I am ready to take the plunge. Being intimate, not physically but emotionally and spiritually, with someone is an experience like no other. Have you ever loved someone so much that you wanted to melt into them? It sounds so pyscho...but my friend and I were talking about this yesterday while riding around Baltimore. When you're in love the butterflies are just so sick and never ending- that place where the only thing you're scared of is losing them and that feeling that you all share. When that day and time comes, it will be a beautiful thing. I look forward that experience but until then I'm working on doing me to the fullest and cherishing each and every millisecond of it.

Now Playing: Its Whatever- Aaliyah

Updates!

Hey world, I know i've been a little MIA on the blog scene but life has really been happening! So I'm a regular bloggerist on Lenzism so please check me out and show some love. I talk about fashion, spot hot @$$ mess, and feature tons of products. We're really trying to do big things over at Lenzism so support! I also just got a job as a key holder at Lush Cosmetics - yesterday was my first day and so far so good! I'm excited about the possibilities with the company, since its worldwide and has a branch in just about any city you ever wanted to live in or visit there are lots of options. I'm thinking this is my perfect way to move to LA or NYC. Its a fun and enjoyable bread and butter job that still allows me the time and flexibility to pursue my ambitions without moving too far away from my field. I mean the bills have to be paid, being a starving artist is not what's good in the hood. Please believe mama will be getting money... being a paper chaser is in my DNA and having about 3-4 hustles is not foreign to me. So, here it is...grind time. It begins now...I didn't get the job at Lush because I'm currently in need of money but the opportunity came and I took it, knowing that I didn't want to have to scramble to find one when I was finally cut the teets of my parents. Plus all my friends have jobs so if there's no one else to bs with what's the fun of free time? 

In other news one of bests just got an interview at Giant. Cool right? It reminds me of how I need to return to my hard pursuit of journalism. While I'm sooo open to do fashion pr or production or styling, I've always wanted to get into magazines. I've applied to a really crucial internship for the summer at on publication and I think I'm a great candidate but we'll see. I'll be applying to more soon  but if its fulltime it has to be paid. I don't see how people can do that...fulltime unpaid internships? WHHHHAAAAT?! How do you eat like that? There are so many uncertainties in my life right now...Ugh.

I do know one thing for sure...I'm going to be somebody!