The Mrs. Degree

(My Final Article for Journalism, it won't be published but I felt it was too good not to post)

By Yasmine*

Today’s modern woman has seemingly earned every degree obtainable- the B.A., D.D.S., Ph.D., C.P.A., and her MBA, the only degree these power women seem to be missing is her M.R.S. While nearly all women on a mission have a hard time making it down the aisle, it seems as if professional black women have felt the aftershock of financial success even more.
To troubleshoot this travesty, some college-aged women are not only focusing on their professional goals but their personal ones as well. Whether it’s going to college to find Mr. Right or being encouraged to do so by family, this new breed of female professionals seem to be taking a cue from their future bosses and locking down their spouse while the picking’s good.
These college co-eds may be concerned for good reason, the marriage rate for African Americans has been dropping since the 1960s. Today, blacks have the lowest marriage rate of any racial group in the United States. In 2001, 43.3 percent of black men and 41.9 percent of black women in America had never been married, in contrast to 27.4 percent and 20.7 percent respectively for whites, according to the U.S. Census. African American women are the least likely in society to marry.
With odds against them, some young black women aren’t taking any chances when it comes to saying "I do" and looking for Mr. Right while in college setting."They kind of pound it into your head once you step foot on campus that the Spelman woman isn’t complete until you find your Morehouse man," said Lauren Stokes, a Spelman College alumna and graduate student. "Some girls come looking for a man. there are a lot of influences around you like professors whose wives or husbands went to Spelman or Morehouse, t-shirts, it all kind of completes the fairy tale." Stokes went on to say, "When I tell people my boyfriend went to Morehouse, they always say ‘aww.’ I know a lot of people who try to hold on to the relationship after college even if its not working, because of the ‘Spelhouse’ connection."
Spelman women aren’t the only ones looking for their perfect man, even if he doesn’t come from Morehouse.
"If I felt like I was in a relationship with ‘Mr. Right’ now, I’d get married now," said Shakuwra Norwood, a junior psychology major at Georgia State University. "I’m still looking for my dream man, someone older, wiser, and richer to sweep me off my feet. All my family and friends encourage me to find that special one because they feel like college is a best place to meet people."
Norwood’s family may not be too far off, Atlanta marriage counselor, Jackie Williams, Ph.D., agrees.
"While in college, young women are exposed to a larger number of educated men than they are outside of college. If you’re college educated and looking for someone suitable for a long-term relationship, college is an ideal place to find that person." However, Williams does not feel like anyone should go to college for the sole purpose of finding a spouse.
"I don’t think you go to college to find a husband, going to college is about getting your degree and seeking a career. It’s difficult to be married in college, especially for a traditional student. An ideal situation would be to graduate from college, start a career, and then focus on a marriage. Although how ready someone is for marriage depends on the specific individual."
While few students may be ready for marriage while they’re still an undergraduate, many marry soon after. This was the case for Wendy Sherman, a 48-year-old medical supply buyer in Washington, D.C.
"I married Michael at 23 years old, right after I graduated from Hampton. We started dating at the end of my freshman year and continued throughout college."
Though Sherman married her college love right after graduation, she doesn’t advise others to do the same.
"Though we’re celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary and are happy, if I had it to do over I would have waited a little longer. I didn’t make the best career choices because I was married. Men mature later than women. Even though I was a younger person than him, I was more mature."
Sherman was never openly advised by her parents to seek a mate, however, some college students are being encouraged to find "The One".
"‘You won’t find him at a bar or a party, Jennifer,’ my mother tells me that all the time" said Jennifer Stowe, a sophomore political science and art history double major at Howard University. "My momma told me it’s not necessary to look for him everyday but I do need to keep an eye out because this is the only place where I’ll have this many young, black successful men concentrated in one place."
While the world seems to be obsessed with marriage and afraid of the alleged shortage of eligible black men, not everyone is concerned.
"I’ve never been advised to find my husband in undergrad, in fact my mother has advised against it," said Claire Kendall, a sophomore Howard University biology major. "I don’t feel like this is my only pool of suitable mates. Once I become a doctor I’ll be around the same caliber and level of other professionals. I’m not looking for anyone to marry right now."
With Black marriages at an all time low, it may not be a bad idea to look out for that special someone while being surrounded by myriads of potential mates. The trouble however is when people rush and take what they can get just to avoid not ever being married. Though walking down the aisle is important, its even more important to have a solid foundation for a marriage filled with love, trust, honesty, and like values.

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