Behold A Lady: A Diary of my Randymethoughts

The End.

2010-03-02T19:32:00.005-06:00

I've officially ended my long time relationship with this blog. However, I will be starting something "new" very soon to go along with my completely new life. Stay tuned....

http://fulltimeflygirl.blogspot.com

A Letter to My Friends on The DL

2009-05-07T19:54:00.007-05:00

(note it's MY blog so if you don't like what you're reading please press the 'x' that the top right of your screen)
Dear Friends,
I love you all very much but what you are doing is f*cked up! This sleeping around with both men and women is wrong. What you're doing is lying, deceiving, manipulating and most of all putting a lot of people in danger because half of you, I know for a fact, are NOT using protection. Why do you think you're immune to AIDS? You're not! Even if you don't ever want to come out and say "you're gay" because you don't want to "put a label on yourself" aka you don't want to suffer the burdens of a gay black man in America - please just be honest with the people you're sleeping with. We, as women, your friends, sisters, and lovers deserve better. Stop using us as cover ups, lying to use when we confront you with the word on the street, sneaking around behind our backs with your "homies". This whole DL thing has got to stop.
Don't get me wrong, I understand how it could be hard to come out. I know many of your families don't agree with homosexual behavior and while society embraces it on t.v. no one seems to want to confront it in real life. Many of you want the freedom to lead "normal" heterosexual lives when you get ready to settle down and think you're "just living your life now" but what woman truly deserves a man that will never be in love with her? Why knowingly do that to a person? I also understand some of you truly don't know what/who you want. Some of you, my friends, are just so freaky that you'll have sex with just about anything. But let me ask you this one thing, is it worth dying for? So many of you are in this underground network of men who "mess around" with other men mostly unprotected but don't call yourselves gay and you still have girlfriends and female lovers.
While discussing my frustrations with an openly gay friend, he told me "it's really not about you". Part of that is very true, it's not about me- it's about all of us. Who you choose to sleep with is your business, it honestly is. However when you partake in risky behavior whether that be homo or heterosexual you put everyone you're in sexual contact with at risk. And that's why it's about US. Let's be honest, everyone on Howard's campus has practically slept with the same people whether we know it or not. So if Bob and Anne are dating but Bob and his homeboy Bill are having sex but don't want to see it as homosexual and therefore aren't using protection Bob and Bill are EXTRA foul. Not only is Bob cheating on Anne which causes emotional woes but he's also having unprotected sex with Bill and puts her at risk. Bill is f*cked up too - because he's most likely friends with Anne, been knowing her since Pre-O (Howard people know what that is). It's just all so sinister.
We have to change our behavior people! Not just the brothers on the downlow but the black culture as a whole. Many of the men are somewhat forced to be secretive because a lot of families ex-communicate homosexuals, it's not looked upon favorably in black business affairs, and though the black church is quick to have a gay man as a choir director that same gay man gets sideways glances when he's in the pew. We have got to be more accepting of people's lifestyle choices. No sin is greater than another.
Men who are sleeping with other men and women and not being honest with your partners-STOP! Just stop, if you're not sure which sex you like better just pause for the cause until you can figure it out. If you're not MAN enough to tell your woman that you like sleeping with men then just stop involving yourselves with women. I guess I just want all the lying and deceivng to stop. pointblankperiod. Some of you are so gay and everyone can see it but you- you're so afraid to be yourself that you don't realize that the people around you already know and love you for who you TRULY are. You don't have to lie to kick it! (getting words like she tripped up with "he" it's a damn shame!) I guess I have ranted and raved long enough. I pray we can make this situation better for all parties involved,
Signed,
A loving daughter, sister, friend, lover.

Panties On A Pedestal

2009-03-24T22:38:00.004-05:00

Do women put their panties (for lack of a more graphic word) on a pedestal? Or do men get the panties so freely that they no longer see it as a big deal? At this point in my life I've chosen to be celibate and when I was discussing this with one of my male friends - he warned me that I may be celibate for a while since most guys at our age (22-24) aren't looking to settle down. He is in the school of thought that since we are out of school and no one is there to keep tabs on your bed log that you should just f*ck as you feel. While, I see his point of view however I believe you're a hoe not because of what you do but you're a hoe because of how you feel. For me, giving myself easily makes me feel less about myself and the older I get the less I'm into casual relations. Of course he thinks the opposite, he says by the time we're 25 and/or married our body count will be so high and no one is going to be keeping their chastity in check that girls might as well do what they feel without regard. He's against women holding their panties hostage in exchange for fine dining, expensive dates, and commitments that most men our age aren't ready to make. I feel him 100% - I don't think people should put a price on their panties but I also don't think it should be shared so freely. I'm really curious to know how others way in on this issue... Is is necessary/right/wrong for a woman to put her panties on a pedestal?

Build-A-Man Workshop

2009-03-15T23:33:00.005-05:00

This idea to "Build-A-Man" came from one of my craziest linesisters and I decided to share my post with you all!

OK, here goes:
1. (Step one: Choose a bear): I want one with a nice honey/caramel complexion....i want mine to have the nicest grain of hair- that's how I like em' hairy and silky!!!!!

2. (Step 2: Pick out a heart): My bear would have a huge heart of gold and it'd be tatted with my name (first and middle -Yasmine Harema- just in case there are some other Yasmines out there!) So he'd be mine all mine :)

3. (Step 3: Stuff you bear) Even though my past few bears have been on the slimmer side- I like a lil' bit of man meat! I want him to be like size M/L with a bit of a man pouch. Not quite a "gut" but I don't need a six pack! (Marly knows how I like em'!) My man needs to be about 5'8''-6ft no taller! I don't like climbing trees - unless his name is _______ then it's all good.

4. (Step 3.5: Make a wish/ seal the bear): I'd wish for a man who is open, loving, committed, and independent.

5. (Step 5: Bath the bear): My man HAS to be fresh! I want the tatts, fresh line up whether he has curls or a fade. Throw in a lot of facial hair- I like the beard, mustache - all that grown man- just don't let the beard get long and stuff- I don't need the muslim/philly type thing goin on. Also, he would wear "drop your panties" cologne at all times!

6. (Step 6: Cloth you Bear): I don't need anymore fashion kings but he's definitely got to have "swag" (for lack of a better word) and his own style! I love em' with the fitteds, flannel shirts, and crisp denims (no nut crunchers and no thug jeans either) - He's also gotta' have the cardigans and button downs on deck when its time to get a bit more spiffy! I also love a man who owns a tux - he pretty much needs to have attire for all occasions.

7. (Step:7 Accessories) Oh and accessories are a must! I want my to own a series of watches from cool to collectibles. I also need the shades on deck- aviators are my favorite! He's GOT TO BE riding clean. I know we're young (I like em 27 and below!) so he doesn't necessarily have to have his BMW or Benz yet- I love a guy in a charger! lol. hood I know- but it's such a masculine car. My boo also makes money! While he's still on his grind to the top - he doesn't know how "broke feels" - he's a hustler in every sense of the word! My man is probably in the music or entertainment industry, he's creative and has an eye for what pops! He's doesn't spend friviously and he knows all about quality vs. quantity. He's educated, ambitious, and knows what he wants out of his life! He has a good relationship with his family and has a set of sound friends that encourage him to stay positive. I would love it if my man would volunteer with kids in his spare time - think football or baseball coach!

8. (Step 8: Name your Bear): For whatever reason I have an affinity for Brandons and "B" names in general (Brandon, Bilal, Bryson, etc)! So that'd probably be his name but I love a nice strong arbic name! Hasani, Khalid, Nasir! Love it. It sounds so good with Yasmine (Listen to it- Yasmine and Khalid- sounds and looks great together!)

9. (Step 9: Check out): Me and my man drive off in the sunset in his tinted windows with the chrome rims Charger - meet my fam, go to dinner, and maybe some industry party!

Damn that T.O.N.Y.

2009-03-03T22:25:00.001-06:00

I was wondering what she was doing on that toilet!!! Her hair looks bomb though! Makes me want some weaves lol

Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others

2009-03-03T03:21:00.001-06:00

John T. Molloy (the author of “Dress for Success”)
This book is based on over 3,000 interviews conducted by Molloy and his researchers. They interviewed couples coming out of marriage license bureaus, and then a control group. The results reflect the statistical tendencies of marriage. Many of the lessons are common sense, but what sets this book apart is its specificity and the statistical backup for its assertions.
Editor’s note: One interesting fact is that this book got positive but mixed reviews on Amazon. It seems that the statistical truths that women who are A) over 35, and B) overweight are much less likely to marry were not well-received by those women who fell into those categories.

The Six Basic Guidelines For Women To Get Married
Insist on it.
If you find yourself in a dead-end relationship, move on.
Love yourself first.
Commit yourself to the idea of getting married
Keep in shape, watch your weight, and take care of your appearance
Time is running out—use time wisely in your search for the marrying man

To maximize your chances of marrying, only date the marrying kind:
Most men will not consider marriage before they reach the age of commitment
For 80% of high school graduates, 23
For 80% of college graduates, 26
For college men, the high-commitment period is 28-33
For men who go to graduate school, 30-36
After the age of 37-38, the chances that he’ll commit drops dramatically. After 43, it drops even more
A 40+ man who has been married before is more likely to remarry than an equivalent bachelor is to marry
Most men will not contemplate marriage until they have been working and living as independent adults for several years (hence the high-commitment periods)
Men become likely to marry after they become uncomfortable with the singles scene
E.g. They realize that they’ve become the sleazy old guys who hang out at the bars and hit on younger girls
Men do have a biological clock, based on their desire to be an active father (especially to their sons)
Misc. negative traits and warning signs
Men who see marriage as a financial arrangement in which women have the most to gain
Men whose parents divorced when they were young
Men who live with their parents
Other key facts
Men often marry women whose religion, politics, values, and socioeconomic status match theirs
Men whose friends and siblings are married are more likely to marry
60% of the newly married men reported that they had a friend who had married within the last year.
Those men who didn’t have any married male friends were 2-3 times as likely to say that they weren’t ready to marry.
The majority of men who had seen their friends get married said that if they met the right woman, they’d think seriously about getting married.
Avoid stringers, men who string along women but never commit. To filter them out, insist that he commit after six months. Then stick to it, no matter what excuses he gives.
Consider unpolished jewels, men who are just as nice, intelligent, hard-working, and successful, but lack looks, height, or social skills.
a. 88% of men over 50 who were marrying for the first time were marrying divorced women. The women told the researchers that they had already tried the tall, suave, type, and he didn’t make a very good husband.
First impressions are important
1. Men are attracted by the physical, but marry character
a. Newly engaged men said that what attracted them to their fiancées was how classy, positive, energetic, enthusiastic, and upbeat their future wives were.
i. While 68% gave a physical description of their fiancée, only 20% said that what attracted them was how gorgeous and sexy their fiancée was. Over 60% described their personalities, even if the women in question were very beautiful.
b. Therefore, be positive!
2. All wives are trophy wives—men marry women whom they admire and like to show off (but not for their physical appearance)
3. Dressing appropriately sends the message, “I am wife material.” Men marry women they perceive as “situational virgins” who move easily in their world.
a. Editor’s note: In other words, don’t dress like a ho. Men see a sexy outfit as an invitation to have sex.
b. Most men decide within 10 minutes of meeting a woman if she’s appropriate for marriage, or just for a casual affair.
c. Over 80% of men said or bragged that their fiancée was the kind of woman they were proud to introduce to friends and family
d. Over 70% of men said that they knew that their future bride was a “nice girl” the minute they met
e. Only 7 out of 2,000 men interviewed said that their fiancée was dressed in a very sexy outfit when they met.
4. If you want to marry a man who is more attractive than you, go for a very good-looking man because he will actually place less emphasis on looks. Women see their own looks as a gift of nature equal to or superior to brains and talent. In contrast, 67% of very good-looking men think of their looks as a minor asset, and say they would rather be smart, rich, or talented. Do the following:
a. Approach him. Very attractive men don’t make passes at women because they don’t have to.
b. Let him put you on a pedestal. Don’t treat him any differently than you would another man, just because he’s good-looking.
c. Let him see your talents and accomplishments. Very good-looking men often marry women who have qualities they lack—education, professional accomplishment, social standing, and ambition.
d. Make demands on him. Advise him to go back to school or get a better job.
5. Making a good impression on his family is almost as important as making a good impression on him.
a. 5% said that it was their family that had convinced them that the woman was something special
b. 30% said that their family’s positive opinion had influenced them
What kind of women get married?
1. Women with a large number of female friends are more likely to marry than women with a large number of male friends
a. Men don’t go out of their way to introduce their female friends to other men
2. If you reach 30 and want to get married, you have to make finding a husband a primary goal. Once your friends start getting married, they are less likely to have an active social life with you. Don’t be the last one off the bus!
3. Women who get married, even those with high-powered careers, make getting married a priority that they work at.
4. The larger the number of single men and women you work with, the better your chances of marrying
a. If you work in an industry with few eligible men (e.g. the fashion industry, where most male colleagues are gay), or have other disadvantages, you’ll have to work harder outside of work to overcome them. It’s unfair, but suck it up.
5. Women with unrealistic expectations often remain single
a. Much of the time, these expectations are imposed by others, who think that the men she brings home aren’t “good enough for her.”
b. Give men a second chance—20% of brides to be said that they didn’t like their husband when they first met him.
6. Self-confident men are attracted to accomplished, self-assured, and talented women
7. Women who waste their time with stringers or men who don’t care for them hurt their chances of marrying
a. Women who marry refer to the men who broke up with them as losers. Women who don’t marry often make men who don’t reciprocate their feelings the center of their universe and still speak well of them.
b. Don’t date married or gay men.
8. Women who live with their parents are less likely to marry
9. Being slender attracts more men, therefore increasing your chances to marry
10. Women who put effort into looking their best are more likely to marry than those who don’t
11. However, men find women who are active and don’t spend all of their time primping more attractive
12. Women who make an effort to seek out the company of single men are more likely to marry
a. Women who marry date more frequently than those who don’t, even it’s Mr. Wrong.
b. Women who marry are three times as likely to participate in masculine activities in which they had no real interest.
c. Women who marry are twice as likely to have made lifestyle sacrifices (changing jobs or moving) to meet eligible men.
13. Women who have active social lives are more likely to marry
a. Go out on Friday and Saturday, when other single people go out
The stages in a relationship
1: Living up to expectations
Men believe that they can size up a woman in 5 minutes. They’re usually wrong. If a man doesn’t call, it’s because he realizes that he made a mistake.
2: Getting to know you. The following types of women are more like to get asked out on additional dates
a. Women who date more extensively
b. Women who have male friends or brothers (and thus have a better understanding of men)
c. Women who worry less about impressing their dates and more about having fun
d. Women who don’t have sex on the first date
e. Women who object when they don’t approve of the man’s plans
f. Women who are friendly and positive
g. Women who are a good audience and show interest and/or a concern for his welfare
Sidebar: Why men don’t call
As men see it, they don’t need a reason not to call. They do need a reason to call.
The woman gets too serious too soon
The woman is not as positive as they had thought.
90% of men find catty remarks a turnoff
3: Needs and lifestyles
This stage is about separating attraction from compatibility.
If your lifestyles aren’t compatible, end the relationship as quickly and painlessly as possible
4: Steady dating (range: 3 weeks to 3 months)
Men don’t typically think of themselves as dating until after 4-6 dates
Women typically think of themselves as dating after 2-3 dates, hence the problem
The primary reason men drop women during the first month or two is that the women come on too strong, too soon.
50% of men have broken up with a woman because she got serious prematurely
Never speak of marriage, children, or your future together for the first 6 dates.
5: Romancing the woman
Men are always trying to please the women they like. Just relax and enjoy your stay on the pedestal (because it’s likely to be brief).
6: Getting comfortable (3 months+). This is the stage where the couple stop feeling they have to be on their best behavior and start being themselves.
The fact that your man doesn’t bring you roses, but instead plops on your couch to watch TV and takes you for granted is actually a natural stage and the hallmark of almost all serious relationships—not a deal-killer.
But, don’t be a doormat. If you don’t complain, or, even worse, try to do everything for him, it will make him think you are just there for his convenience.
Women who withhold doing household chores usually get more respect from men
The women who insist on being treated well are 2x as likely to end up marrying their man. No one marries a servant.
Insist on being monogamous
7: Committed couplehood (range: 6 months to 1 year; 73% said that within 9 months, their partner had become the center of their lives).
Successful couples:
Are monogamous
Put their partners interests above their friends and family
If his family member makes a negative comment about you, he should defend you. 79% of marrying men said that they came to their financees’ defense.
Hang out together without any particular plans. When just being together, you are a successful couple.
8: Premarital couplehood.
Committed couples are:
Openly affectionate, and make sacrifices for each other
Become confidants. More than 90% of couples who get married are.
But remember that men are sensitive to criticisms of their family, and men don’t share their feelings easily
9: The proposal stage
Most men propose after going out with a woman for 18 months.
If at the end of 22 months, a man has not proposed, the chances that he will start to diminish.
For 3.5 years, the chances diminish gradually. After that, it plunges. After 7 years, your chances are virtually zero.
Speaking of Marriage
1. Men who discuss marriage are more likely to propose
2. If you want to discuss marriage, you’re going to have to bring the subject up, because many men never will
3. 73% of marrying women said that they put pressure on their man to propose
4. If a woman is convinced that marriage is essential to her happiness, she is more likely to marry.
a. If a man is convinced that being married is essential to a woman’s happiness, he is more likely to propose
5. When a man who has been dating a woman for months says he hasn’t thought of marriage, he’s probably just being honest. Men don’t think about these things.
a. 1/3 of husbands who had said no at first had forgotten that they did so
b. 2/3 remembered, but most thought it wasn’t a big deal.
c. When told that saying this upset their wives, the men generally responded, “What did she want me to do, lie to her?”
d. More than 90% of men who said they weren’t ready didn’t think the answer was a rejection, just a fact.
e. The best response is, “Maybe it’s time for you to think about it.”
f. Statistically, this is actually one of the most encouraging answers a woman can receive; many of these men proposed within 4 months.
6. Men don’t get subtle hints—a woman has to discuss marriage directly and, to make sure he gets the point, ask follow-up questions.
7. When a man says he isn’t ready, it usually doesn’t mean he will never marry.
Often, it’s because they don’t have enough money.
8. Men rarely respond positively when challenged.
a. Over 50% of men say that when presented with a choice, “Marry me or get lost,” they chose to get lost.
b. Over 50% of men say that when a woman walks out, they let her go.
c. Instead, come back to the subject later. Send the message, “I love you, but I need marriage.” Don’t let them off the hook.
i. “How could you do this to me? You hurt me.”
ii. “The reason I’m so hurt is that I love you.”
Marrying after 40
1. The best places to meet eligible men are clubs and groups based on common interests. Join organization that have single men as members.
a. 21% of engaged women over 40 said that they had met their fiancée at an athletic club
b. Sports clubs that focus on activities that attract singles (trips, bicycling) are best
c. Next best are tennis, and golf.
d. Third come professional or social organizations that are overwhelmingly male, like engineering associations or collectors of sports memorabilia.
e. Fourth come organizations that have a singles scene, or sponsor events that give singles a chance to socialize with other club members.
f. Dances, picnics, and charity golf or tennis tournaments are also a good place to meet men.
2. Have an active social life
a. Women who go out twice a week, even just to dine with other women or do volunteer work, are 3x as likely to marry than those who don’t go out.
b. Going out three times a week boosts your chances even further.
c. However, going out more than 5 nights a week decreases your chances.
3. Though men often date women who are much younger, they usually marry someone close to their own age.
4. The most common reason men over 40 were attracted to their fiancées was that they took good care of themselves. So stay in shape!
5. When asked what attracted them to their fiancées, younger men cite virtue, talent, or accomplishments. 62% of men over forty cited “niceness” (congeniality, agreeableness, a relaxed, low-maintenance attitude, and acts of kindness).
6. Older men may be in a hurry to get married; delay them, don’t dump them, if you aren’t ready yet.
7. Men who attend religious services are more likely to marry.
Divorced men, widowers, and single fathers
1. Young widowers without children are the most marriageable men on earth
2. Single fathers with young children have little or no energy for a social life
3. Most widowers are not ready for a relationship until 2 years after their wife passed away
4. Men whose wives died of lingering or painful illnesses are less likely to remarry.
5. The more amicable a man’s divorce, the more likely he is to remarry
6. The younger a man is, the more likely he is to remarry

RecessionDepression

2009-02-25T01:15:00.002-06:00

OMG- the economy truly sucks! It's really bad here in Atlanta, almost no one is hiring and the people who are are in some kind of specialized field that you see on tv school commercials like medical billing. Silly me for going to a four year institution! Either way, I'm in the process of being admitted into FIDM LA - shits too hard without being in school- I don't even have healthcare right now! I also got an opportunity to work with a stylist out there and am moving in May. YAY! Finally a silver lining to my rain clouds! Now all I have to do is find some kind of a piece of a job to save some money so that I can move to Los Angeles in May. If you or anyone you know is hiring in the Atlanta area let me know- I'll forward you my resume!!!!!

.....just a random thought- I hate when guys just "pop" back up, right when you've learned to live without them.

Illusionary Communication

2009-02-17T02:44:00.007-06:00

I hate men. Actually, I don't - but I hate the way they communicate [or lack thereof]. You haven't heard from a guy in a while and where does your mind go? First it's maybe he's busy, occupied, then you think he's dating other people, then you feel like he must be avoiding you and from that point on you, most likely with the help of a few bitter but caring girlfriends, concoct a grand storyline on how everything transpired and why he is out to destroy your life and break your heart. Three days later, after 5 shots of Patron, a four hour phone conversation, an erased number, and a heartwrenching Facebook de-friending - he calls like nothing ever happened. After you've done and talked all that shit! What do you have to say for yourselves?

By the way, my dear readers, in no way is this blog a direct reflection of my current love life. I am inspired by many situations shared between me and the people and stories I come across.

The first step to recovery

2009-01-25T14:52:00.002-06:00

I was saw that a step to getting over heartache is to write a letter to the person and then keep it to yourself. While I express myself best in written form I don't see the point in writing to a person that will never see how you feel.

About two weeks ago one of my favorite linesisters called me to catch up. When we got to the topic of men I told her how there was no one that I was really into to and that I was casually entertaining a few people but nothing serious. Then she brought up that one... the one who I would drop all others for, the one who still had a piece of me for better or worse. The one that I can't seem to harden my heart for. I couldn't even fake it and act like he never crossed my mind then she asked "Are you like in love with him or something?" Now, an easy and obvious answer would be "yes" but with further consideration I believe that I'm more heartbroken over what didn't happen. While we did/do have amazing chemistry - that kind of love at first conversation but there was no grand love affair to miss. It's more like an itch that was never fully scratched. An unfinished entry is what makes me still intrigued. I believe that love, or the idea of it, unfulfilled is worse than a break-up. At least when you break up with someone there's a reason and an end point. When things just end with no fizzle or fire it leaves you an addict, wondering when and if things are going to pick up. I feel like I'm rambling but maybe someone feels me.

now playing: wish you loved me- tynisha keli

Hazel

2009-01-24T17:25:00.001-06:00

1. Put your music player on shuffle. I used my iTunes
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Respond in the comment box with your results!

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Lay In My Bed- Mario (I’m not sure how I feel about this- no one has been laying my bed in a minute! It ain’t that easy…)

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Round Midnight- Jazmine Sullivan (LOL- this is actually perfect, “round mindnight” I’m always up thinking- I had to start taking sleeping pills because I can’t sleep for thinking so much)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Soon as I Get Home – Bobby Valentino [Babyface Remake] (This is true, I need someone who can love and support me “a stack of major credit cards and with him I don’t have to ask”)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Angel- Leona Lewis (I don’t think this is accurate, I haven’t met my angel yet. No Romeo for this Juliet)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Wifey- Next & SWV ( I hope this is a good sign)

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Love Come Down- Evelyn Champagne King (I’m bout sick of all these songs referencing love – though I can’t help the way I feel! LOL)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
After The Rain- Mya ( Hopefully this means they know I’ll always be there during the rain and after it too)

8.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Taste Your Heartbeat- Uness ( sad but true- please discover and download)

9. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
She’s a Bad Mamma Jamma- George Clinton and P-Funk (LOL, pretty muuuuch)

10 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Relax 1 – Unknown ( so random, from one of the many mixtapes I download from Aaron Reid or Blind I)

11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Mr. Bombastic- Shaggy (too funny- Mr. Luva Luva hmmmm)

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Party Pack- The Fewture ft. Graham Knox & Grip Playaz ( they always tell me “you fine but you party all the time”)

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Goodbye- PPP ft. Jamila Raegan (not sure what this means)

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
So Over You- Ashanti (Well, if I like them then this may not be true but I would definitely like to believe it! Which would explain why I’m heartless and have no feelings for anyone)

15. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Come With Me- Day 26 (They want me to be in the medical field like them LOL)

16. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Beautiful Girl- Kenny Lattimore (Perfect fit!)

17 What will they play at your funeral?
The Corner- Common ft. Scarface ( Oh no, I hope I don’t die over no BS)

18. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Def Poetry Jam- Amanda Diva

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Bedtime- Jeezy ( LOL- enough of the sexual references)

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Walk It Out- DJ Unk

21. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Whip Appeal – Babyface (ya, I’m a sucker for it!)

22. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
T-Shirt- Beyonce (Hopefully that t-shirt doesn’t belong to another woman’s man LOL)

23. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Chronometrophobia- Outkast

24. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Rearview (Ridin’) – Bobby Valentino ft. Ludacris (True, I can’t help but lookback and laugh)

25. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Unfaithful - Rihanna

26. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
I’ll Never Hate Her- Lonely Limo Mixtape (IDK what this means)

27. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
I Slept With Someone from Fall Out Boy and All I Got was a Stupid Song Written About Me- Fall Out Boy (terrible!)

28. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
What If I Fell In Love With You- Duffy

29. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
I Can’t Stop Loving You- Kem (sooo trueee)

30. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Hazel- Lloyd

Playing House

2009-01-15T00:34:00.005-06:00

Is it just me? Or are there a TON of people shacking up these days? I guess Diddy and Kim Porter made it cool somehow but there are more unmarried young couples living together now more than ever. Is it because of the downturned economy? Would partners rather just live together and split expenses? Are people testing the waters before marriage?

Maybe I'm just old school but I've never seen so many women (and men) just pick up their lives and relocate them to live with someone with no talks of marriage even in sight a lot of the time. Each time I hear of a new case of playing house I instinctively ask, "what does your mother think?". Just as I initially suspected, most aren't thrilled in the least bit.

Don't get me wrong, I understand how your partner can spend days on end at your place or vice versa and it seems like it's a pretty economical and smart idea. Even during my summer days in New York I shared my living space with a significant other though I soothed my conscience by telling myself it was only for a temporary time until he got his own apartment (which was true) and then that he would only come on the weekend (also true). Since I have seen a tiny bit of what it feels like to live with your love so I can see the perks and the pitfalls. Perks- someone to help with bills, someone to hold at night (I think it ends there). Pitfalls- someone invading your limited closet space, socks, cups, shoes... EVERYWHERE, someone taking the cover. Yea, not as sexy as I imagined it. And from what I've seen of other people's attempts at playing house things can get really sticky from people feeling suffocated, domestic violence, to identity theft. It can get ugly! I think I'll just wait until I'm married to enjoy (and suffer) living with my man!

Now Playing: Rain- Dear Jayne ft. J. Holiday

My Worst Nightmare...

2009-01-10T12:12:00.001-06:00

But one of my favorite songs by Etta James.

FRIENDS

2009-01-08T23:52:00.002-06:00

You know readers, I've really had a serious case of the blues lately. I just feel like I'm kind of in a valley of my life. I'm really not where I want to be, still haven't had my "big break", and everything around me is uninspiring. While I have vowed to have a renewed attitude in the new year it's been tough to keep my spirits up as I still have not heard back from a position with an amazing company that I interviewed with before Christmas. Times are hard, simply put.

As much as I try and listen and care for my friends I don't always feel like I have the same ear to listen to me. I constantly get phone calls about love lost, drama with friends, family problems- whatever you can think of I've heard. However when it's time for the table to turn I find myself up awake at night calling my mother at work. When I'm ready to actually talk people are busy, have to call me back, having a moment, or just can't handle the weight I feel and therefore aren't a suitable conversation mates. Have you ever really just wanted someone you could talk to? With fists full of friends I still feel like there's no where to turn.

On The Chat Line

2008-12-24T01:08:00.003-06:00

Merry Christmas party people! I can't say that I'm truly in the "Christmas" spirit - we could actually skip all the shenanigans if it were up to me. I'm just not feeling it this year. Everything just feels depres...ahem, recessed. LOL. Anyway, that's not really want I wanted to write about.

Is meeting people on the internet still taboo? After much complaining about the male selection I've been coming across in the Atlanta nightlife scene (Luckie, Ten Pin, Pure, Body Tap lol, etc) my friend told me how she randomly finds dates on the internet. From Blackplanet, Black Singles.net, MySpace, and even Craigslist she's gone off descriptions and photos to determine whether she wanted to talk on the phone then eventually meet in a mall foodcourt.

Is it me or does that seem so retro? Blackplanet was/is definitely one of the forefathers of the socially addictive phenom, Facebook. Either way she convinced me that I should start up a page and just "get out there" and explore. Wouldn't exploring entail being home more so I can check my Notes and Page Log? Moving on, I decided "why not?" I signed up, created a cute and sophisticated screen name "BeholdaLady8" (of course..), added a picture, and then immediately felt the urge to erase the page and felt a bit of embarassment. "What am I doing on this site anyway?" is what I asked myself. "I have guys I could talk to. Even if they annoy me to pieces- at least I met them at school or at the mall or something respectable." As of yet, I have still not erased the page so if you are on there too please friend me I only have four! I have gotten other friend requests but a lot of the people on there seem crazier than the guys I'm meeting at Luckie Lounge on Wednesday nights! From crazy screen names like "KngDckSlanga" and "ThugLuv69" to the men over 30 trying to holler. It's a mess! I don't do older older guys- I'm only 22 what do we could we have in common??? I'm not interested!

I have another friend who received a random friend request on Facebook from an attractive stranger and decided to accept since they knew a few of the same people. To make a long story short Facebook messages turned to Facebook chat and then to telephone conversations, him breaking up with his girlfriend and them establishing rules for their engagement. Now he's her phone's screensaver and she's "got a man". As happy as she seems to be with her new beau when you ask how they met she just says "it's a long story" and doesn't want to say "on Facebook". Why is that?

With the uprising of sites like Match.com and E-Harmony why are people still ashamed of meeting new potential dates online? While almost everyone does it in some way (friending cute strangers on Facebook) or setting up accounts on social networks - no one really seems to be okay with talking about it. I believe that there seems to be a sense of desperation attached to this form of dating which is not necessarily true. The fact is that we can't all be desperate... or are we? If we are, at least we're all in it together!

While I did bring Blackplanet up from the grave I've been on a campaign to being open to meeting people anywhere. My hotspots are ALWAYS the hoods though! Old National Hwy, the ashy part before you get to my classy hood, is always filled with suped up old school cars and tons of Dodge Chargers (the hoodest car out right now!) and also tons of men that are trying to holler at the CaramelCutie in the silver coupe with the DST tag. I get honks, request to pull over, guys rolling down their windows at stop lights anything! I also do well in the SWATS (Southwest Atlanta for those who don't know) - I don't know what it is. So far my campaign has been going well I've met someone at a holiday party, a night out with friends, a gas station, Old National, and at a store. It's funny I've given my number to a few but I have absolutely NO interest in really talking to anyone. Even though they all have been generally attractive there's nothing in me that really wants to spend time getting to know people. LOL. Funny right? I guess that's why I haven't found anyone!!!

Let's Chill

2008-12-09T00:13:00.004-06:00

...actually, LET'S NOT! Not in your house anyway. What is up with this guys? When did dating consist of constantly coming to your house and watching random dvds as you consistently get denied physical advancement? GET THE HINT STUPID! Forgive me readers, I'm really annoyed right now (as if you couldn't tell) but some men really don't get it. I have always been in the school of thought that if a man can only hang out with you in his house then he's just not that into you or he's just trying to get into you. Now, I'm hanging out with a certain guy who I've known for sometime but have never been available to until now. However, he has it all confused. If you like me, like you say you do then take my word for when I say- you're apartment won't do! (No matter how stunning the view is!) What happened to the simple things- dinner...movies...hookah? Is it really that difficult? I've already been up front- we're not going there. I'm celibate and I have no intentions of discontinuing that until I am with someone who is worth my energy. I can't say all guys have this issue, recently I went on a cool date to Apache Cafe here in Atlanta and listened to live music and enjoyed the open mic. I'm not saying you need to treat me to Ruth Chris and the Atlanta Ballet every evening but show a little initiative (though I do love the finer things). Have some pride- your apartment barely has furniture! I know it's cuddling weather but really you don't even know me like that partner!

Once a Cheat, Always a Cheat...

2008-12-05T11:54:00.004-06:00

...right? I for one believe so but hope not. If so, we're all doomed!!! In the span of 3 days I've heard numerous horror stories how of men have betrayed the trust [and satisfied the suspicsion for some] of their significant others with infidelity. One has had two year bicoastal affair for , one cheated with his so called "best friend", and another simply cheated habitually without regard. When I asked one of my friends why he cheated on his girlfriend he replied, "I was just going through things" - what kind of things would make you cheat? One guy I dated admitted to me after 5 months of casually dating that he had a girlfriend...in the middle of trying to get with me. How could you go that long without saying something? Without her saying something? He and I were not serious but we were involved and it made me furious because I pride myself on not coming in between anyone's relationship. When I reacted to his confession he replied, "you act like I'm married." That's a statement I feel a lot of men agree with. That if you're not married then cheating is non existant or it's not a big deal. My definition of cheating is defying anything that goes outside of the parameters of the your established relationship rules. When I sit and think about all the men that have ever cheated - I feel an amazing gape in my cardiovascular cavity. Almost every man has done it- known and unknown. From Presidents like John F. Kennedy and Bill Clinton to civil saints like Martin Luther King Jr and modern day dieties like the Honorable Elijah Muhammad. It's truly sickening and disheartening to believe that fidelty cannot be achieved.
I'm at a point in my life where I allow people to be who they are, stay in their lane, and to place themselves where they should be in my life. If you're friend is selfish and never likes to go out but loves to have potlucks and sleepovers- stop inviting that friend to go to the club with you all the time, don't call her unless you feel like picking her up and not getting any gas money for going 30 minutes out of your way. Sure, that's extreme but know who you're dealing with and don't expect people to change just because you find faults with them. Let people be who they are and there will be a lot less stress in your life- I promise. Not to say you have to deal with their character flaws but just accept the fact that they have them. That new found revelation has led me to believe that 98% of the time if a man cheats once he'll cheat again not necessarily because he doesn't love you but because he is simply a cheater.
PS: not to make light of my sentiments but I included a snippet of the ever humorous t.v. show Cheaters

Now Playing: Something You Forgot - Lil Wayne

Some Like it HOT

2008-11-12T14:51:00.004-06:00

...I would be one of them. However, my life these days just seem to be just lukewarm. Why is it that the things [and people for that matter] that we are most passionate about seem to be the hardest to attain? It seems like everything happening in my life is just simply....luke. I'm not going to lie and say that there's no love life- there is one but I wouldn't so much call it a 'love' life it's more like a 'ithinkilike' life. I've never been so nonchalant in my life. I mean I guess it's cool to have some mellowness in my often times overly dramatic life but oh my goodness, it's such a bore! I always used to ask myself if I adventure followed me or if I followed adventure and now I see that we're one in the same and one without the other makes for a very bored and unstimulated Yazzi.

now playing: 'valentine'- ryan leslie

And Now Our Work Truly Begins

2008-11-05T00:14:00.009-06:00

We did it, America! We finally let go of our apathy, wining, and complaining and stood in the lines that forced change to occur! While I am happy to see something that I never thought I'd witness in my lifetime, a BLACK President, I'm even happier to see democracy truly at work. Now we must live up to all that we stood in those lines for and not let apathy set back in.
I am in awe of what I witnessed tonight. To see people in long lines at the polls, radio stations being taken over by political conversations, facebook statuses with more than just snide comments about their ex's. From enslavement to presidency!!!!!! That's one hell of a trail; a trail that so many people fought, bled, and died to set. I know this is just the FIRST of many changes to come and boy am I ready!
I finally feel a bit of vindication from all those days in 9th grade government class at Landmark Christian School when I was the only moderately liberal voice to be heard. When classmates tried to mute me with their typical southern white conservative views. This is a revenge well worth waiting for.
The sad part is that they're so busy putting up ignorant facebook statuses complaining how they're going to have to work "harder" while the "lazier get even more lazy" - how predictable can you be? When do these people look past themselves to see the biggest picture? Can't they see that today is truly the day that America finally belongs to ALL OF US???? That finally we all can get a bit out of that "white only American pie"? The the white ceiling is finally broken but I guess it wouldn't be natural for every American to feel happy about that, especially when we can sense the end of white dominance in this country.
I can honestly say that growing up, especially in my teen years I had a serious issue with white people mostly because the majority of the ones around me were racist, narrow minded, one step away from the KKK .....people that I was always in defense from in one way or another- being passed up for class secretary, prefect (whatever the heck that is anyway), being slighted in cheerleading, always having to prove myself and most times still feeling like I had failed - not because of my ability but because of theirs- their ability to allow me to flourish and be the leader I was simply because of my skin. I'm sure many would dispute that as the reason but who would expect them not to anyway.
Then I grew up, looked around and saw not everyone was like the people I went to school with and that not even all of them were was terrible as I thought they once were. I realized that it's not always about race and I also realized that as a black woman, I would always have a double consciousness- and that's okay too. It's a tough situation growing up with a father who's a black nationalist, Hebrew Israelite, in the heart of Black America and then being sent to an all white school filled with christian republicans who only saw their version of right and being forced to sit in theology classes where the only thing I could agree upon was the sanctity of Jesus the Christ....
I guess my ending words to this post would be...A CHANGE IS HERE WHETHER YOU'RE READY FOR IT OR NOT.

Revisitation

2008-11-03T22:30:00.000-06:00

Well, I've been in Atlanta a little over a week now and so far...so good. I took a little time to myself while transitioning from NYC to ATL by going to Howard's Homecoming and spending quality time with family, friends, and linesisters. Homecoming honestly wasn't all I thought it would be though- I guess I really didn't miss anyone or see anyone that I did miss. I guess since I just graduated the feeling of "coming home" was kind of lackluster. However, it did feel good to be in the warm nurturing nest of HU.
So the unthinkable has occured...I'm going back to school. (Or at least that what I keep convincing myself of) The job market SUCKS and unless I want to be folding t-shirts for the rest of my career or doing something completely outside of my interest (my mom suggested becoming a nurse anesthics) - I'm going to have to if I want to 1. get to LA 2. get the kinda of jobs I want. So I decided to do a post bach program at Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising starting next fall to get me where I want to be and with the connections I need to really flourish. I never thought I would be considering school again but I believe that this career focused program will be the "how to get hired" bootcamp that I so desperately need.
I just started working with an entertaintment and fashion company here doing celebrity bookings- so if you need one for your next party, concert, college homecoming, sorority/fraternity gathering- HOLLA AT ME!!!!!
So, since I'm such a computer nerd and can sometimes spend embarassing amounts of time on the internet- I've seen this atroscity called "juicy campus" - that's is the worst website I've seen in ages. All it is is one big honesty box for different campuses to say whatever and talk about whomever they feel like- all anonymously. It's a breeding ground for haters- and people with nothing better to do with their time then to about greek life, hoes, DL men, and who has STDs. I'm so ashamed that Howard students are really giving this thing life. It's truly an embarassment for all who bear the Howard name. Brothers and sisters, we have GOT to do better. Don't we have more pertinent things to do and focus on?
On to more positive things....1 more day before Barack Obama wins the election! (fingers crossed, hopefully prayers and ballots will be answered!)

An Update for The Stalkers

2008-10-08T22:45:00.002-05:00

So, a lot of changes have been going on in my little life. I recently have been on the treck to going back to Atlanta inorder to save up for my voyage to the West Coast.
Here are the updates:
I got a brand new car! (a 2008 Altima Coupe 2.5s in precision gray)
I got a first round interview with a corporate retail management program that would relocate me to San Franscico for 3 months while training and then place me in the location of my choice.
I'm also so uberly obsessed with LinkedIn...are you on that? If not you definitely should be. There are some real industry professionals on there ready to hire!
Among other things there is no love life to speak of and that's fine by me I have some personal goals that I want to achieve while I'm in Atlanta:
I want to get invisiline - don't get me wrong I have great teeth but they're not as perfect as they once were when I first got my braces taken off
Loose a few pounds (25-30lbs to be exact)
Let my hair grow out
Save about $4,000 in my ING savings account
I think this time in ATL could serve me well - don't get me wrong - I still send out about 10 resumes a day in California but I'm happy

...a boyfriend pretty soon wouldn't be bad either.

California...Knows How To Party

2008-08-28T18:25:00.002-05:00

So, I'm in my home away from home- Floss Scandlelous, California ....The City of Angels. I love it here! There's beautiful weather, beautiful people, great shopping, and it's everything New York is not! Needless to say, I'm trying to move out here as soon as possible. I landed a great fulltime paid internship at a celebrity fashion magazine in New York but as I stated it is an ...internship and pretty soon that won't cut it anymore. It's definitely a great place for me to learn but at this point I've figured out I don't really want to be a fashion editor. One great thing about the magazine is that they have a west coast beauru. My plan is to be in LA by January 09'. I know NYC seems like the place to be, but it's truly not the place for me and I'm smart enough to know that.

Updates!

2008-08-12T19:47:00.003-05:00

I have an early life crisis just about daily but I'm figuring it out. I'm still California dreaming but NYC is calling my name. Things are really picking up opportunity wise. Last week the fabulous Marcia Caster, an editor from ESSENCE edited my resume and really made me look like a superstar on paper, and she didn't even lie! That gave me the boost I needed to go on an application spree. I've applied to I don't know how many jobs and have began to interviewing, meetings, power lunches. I am on a campaign here, I'm leaving no stone left unturned. I'm casting my ballot in a number of cards and waiting for the opportunity that belongs to me. My most phenomenal experience was being in the press office of a world renowned Japanese designer who for professionalism sake I will leave unnamed (though I will give his initials...Y.Y. and he has a brand with Adidas) and killed the interview only for the interviewer to tell me that I would tell me how talented and super cool I was and wonderful my portfolio was that I would probably be bored to pieces in the office and that there was little chance that I would get hired since the staff was so small there. Either way, she gave me contact names to various PR companies, Y-3, and one of my favorite Mags along with hers with encouragement to keep in touch. That felt good, validating. That even in a huuuuge rotten city like New York that I could shine. Out of alllll the girls in size 0 pants with degrees from FIT and Parson's that I, lil' thick girl from Howard University could still knock their socks off with my style and brilliance. Things are getting better but I'm taking it one day at a time. I have meetings and interviews all week, pray for me :)

My Eyes are Attacking Me

2008-07-28T10:05:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning looking like a one eyed monster. It's actually really disgusting. New York is growing on me but I'm still California Dreamin'. I already booked my trip for the last week in August. So I'll be freelancing full time for the .com of the magazine starting immediately after my internship is over. That's such a relief because I now pay my own rent! [mom was not playing about that]. In better news, I finally got the internet back! In bad news, I have no love life to speak of. LOL. Actually, that's not too bad, it's allowing me to focus on life and work, especially since I work like a Hebrew slave. Well, that's it. All I have to write.

2008-06-16T00:27:00.002-05:00

First off...
Let me dispell the myth ... I am not Dominican. I moved to New York and people just decided to give me a different cultural background. I'm black- I got some other stuff going on too- but at the end of the day I'm black, I mean Dominicans, Ricans, and Cubans can be black too but I'm not Domincan.
Okay, New York isn't half bad. Still not where I want to settle down at but I've come to terms with the fact that I'll probably be here for a minute while I hustle my way up the industry ladder. New York's not so lonely anymore either- I have a great circle of comrads who have really helped to ground me here in the rotten apple. I just bought those flowers today too! They're pretty. The bookclub is amazing and the nonstop mismosas don't hurt either. Plus, there are soooooo many Howard people in the city, I see them everywhere- at work, at play, on the train, on the street- everywhere. It's awesome. I do need to find a hair salon ASAP though, if you have any suggestions please leave it in my comment box or send me an email preferably in Manhattan but I wouldn't mind going to some parts of Brooklyn.
I'm liking adulthood though. It hasn't really got full swing (my mom still helps with rent for now) but I'm getting weened into independence. It's great figuring out who I am without constantly being distracted by outside influences. Figuring out and deciding who I am and who I want to be. Im creating habits, rituals, and making a lifestyle for myself. I think it's so important to decide what kind of person you're going to be and being comfortable with that. I'm very content with life. Though it's not all great - it is all good and the future's looking very bright.

2008-06-02T22:27:00.004-05:00

i'm lonely in new york-
i miss dc.atl.la
my room is big
....and empty.
all i have is a blow up mattress with $20 400 thread ct. egyptian cotton sheets (peach is the color, i thought it might liven up the place a bit) and a rolling cart with canvas drawers (i added drawer liners so my clothes would smell sweet) and a rack full of fabulousness in the indentation of my right wall known as the closet - area.
tomorrow i buy a few groceries, some flowers to yet again beautify the place, a razor (- to beautify my armpit), oh and a notepad..

but essence is dynamic and amaaaaaaaaaaaazing
its all worth the sacrifice.

Mama Gotta Have a Life Too

2008-05-25T22:01:00.003-05:00

So, I'm a week out from the beginning of my new life. I start work on June 2...10am-6pm. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time:) I'm so excited about the company I'm working with- it's just so many dynamic black women - and people in general- who have been at that very place. I feel like I'm joining another organization. It's a beautiful thing! With my new job, I plan to really get my life to where I want it to be. I opened up an ING savings account [and put $500 in there to start!] and there's more life adjustments to come :) I plan to start painting again, joining my homegirl Charreah's bookclub, find a hair salon in NYC - preferably Harlem since I don't like to have go to far for a good look and just living and loving life. I'm so exited!

2008-05-18T10:32:00.004-05:00

Addendum to my previous post...
I found a song that epitomizes how I feel relationships should be. It's called Sure Thing by this kid out in my dream city, LA, named Miguel. This song has been on repeat all morning- he's really just talking about homieloverfriend theory..his first words are "love you like a brother- treat you like a friend". It's refreshing to know that someone can feel me...I guess I'm just looking for the sure thing he's talking about.

And another update...
I finally found and got my apartment in New York, I'll be risiding in the Morningside Park area just a few blocks south of Harlem on 7th Ave (Adam Clayton Powell)- which I adore, I'm also feeling the Ft. Greene area of Brooklyn too. A friend of my mother's put me in contact with this guy (lol) who ended up taking me and my current roommate to this spot called the Brooklyn Moon which had a dope atmosphere and some great honey bbq wings! Oh, yea he was oh so attractive too:)
Apartment hunting was an experience on it's own. Two apartments were cluttered with older women- one room that was open made me feel like I would be playing the role of sister bear (it was a mother and her two teenaged sons) and the other with a woman slightly younger than my grandmother with a bedroom for $8000 with a twin bed and boy's decor (her son had died and she left all of things where he left them...yikes!). There was one apartment that was suuuuuuper nice on St. Nicholas and w. 116th for only $675 but there was an ex boxer who owned it and would be living there too, which would have been a little too uncomfortable. The place I ended up getting is four bedrooms, two full baths, a WASHER AND DRYER!, new kitchen, and my room is a great size. So, I'm excited and just riding this wave wherever it wants to take me. I start work in two weeks...
Oh yea, and I think I'm going to start painting again- a hobby is just so necessary!

now playin: Sure Thing- miguel

My Perfect Man Theory

2008-05-06T23:48:00.004-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I am the epitome of a girly girl- from the make-up to the clothes and especially boy talk! My friends accuse me of being of a talk show host asking questions like "so, what's your type"..."when do you want to get married"..."what's you ideal man." In general I would go through my check list [funny, attractive, ambtious, God fearing etc] then when I noticed my friends' minds starting to wonder while I kept listing attributes. I realized at that point that I needed to consolidate my list and this is what I came up with- a homieloverfriend.

Before you judge me, let me explain...
1. I need a homie because I want to be able to hang out with him, have riveting conversations and big laughs
2. Lover- it's not so hard side to understand right?
3. My perfect man is also my best friend because he should always have my best interest at heart and I should be able to trust him with my soul.
So while I'm sure the homieloverfriend theory reminded you of that old R. Kelly song, it actually has nothing to do anything he's talking about. Once I find mine, it will be game[s] over!

Last Day of Undergrad

2008-04-25T11:36:00.000-05:00

2008-04-25T10:50:00.005-05:00

So I'm officially complete with my academic pursuits at Howard University! I'm not sure whether I should get up and shout for joy because it's over or weep for days because....it's over. These four years have zoomed by so quickly and life is coming like a ton of bricks! I graduate May 10, I start work at the magazine on June 2. It's crazy, I love Howard so much, it's the best (and one of the only major) decisions I've made in my life. I'm so excited about being a Howard Alumna...I'm going to be one of those people in the grocery store with my HU Sweatshirt, my DST cap...just PROUD.
My only regret is that I didn't cherish every milisecond of my time here. My family is too proud, they don't even know what to do with themselves. There's a big hoopla being planned for my graduation weekend. Truthfully it's more for my mother than it is for me, but that's okay. She deserves it, she single handedly paid my tuition. I have no loans, no debt, so I'm walking across that stage a free woman! That's also very exiting. Life is beautiful.

2008-04-10T23:33:00.002-05:00

I know some of my friends were interested in knowing so I'm going to tell you- New York IS an option! At least for the summer. I got the paid internship with every homegirl's favorite magazine, so I will definitely be in the NYC. To tell the truth New York scares me to death! It's just so big and busy- I have so much more of a California persona but I'm going to give NYC a try and I sure hell wasn't about to turn down an amazing opportunity to work with the number 1 black womens publication in the world. We'll see if I'm still California Dreamin' after August 9th.

My Favourite Things At the Moment

2008-04-07T23:30:00.005-05:00

I didn't quite feel like blogging all the way, but I'm going through some serious emotion about only having 2 weeks left in my undergraduate career. I can't believe its over for Howard. I love it so much and all the lessons it has taught me.

2008-03-28T00:31:00.006-05:00

Today had to be one of the most random days everrrrrr.....
1. I get mysteriously taken off of the schedule of my job of three weeks
2. I'm proposed to by a random man at the G2 bus stop while waiting to go home after feeling 'fired'
3. I send an email to the regional sales manager and am hired again.

4. Receive an email from an admirer who saw my picture on Lenzism and said the following

I just saw a picture of you on Lenzism.com and you are a
beautiful girl. Your eyes make you look like a bright, smart, and
respectful woman. I know you know this but let me just say 'a person's
eyes are a window to their soul.' Grace me with your beautiful
presence and let me know you a little bit better and like Columbus let
us sail on a journey of each other's minds and see what it leads to.
In each other's eyes that is where we find ourselves as the eyes never
lie.

5. Am honest with myself and decide I really didn't feel like working a retail job anyway [no matter how smashing the products] and quit the job.

They couldn't write days like this if they wanted to!

PS: 6. There's a knock at the door, it's my rapper exboyfriend who I haven't heard from in almost 6 months stopping by because he was 'in the neighborhood' and saw my light on and plans to call me tomorrow. Who invited him back? OMG. Lord, days like this....

now playing: poison- bell biv devoe

Feelin' Froggy?

2008-03-24T11:56:00.005-05:00

You know what's soooo weird? I don't want to be in a relationship. Like honestly, I don't for the first time in a minute. I'm comfortable with the life and dating style I currently have [oh yea, that striking barely lasted 24 hours]. At first I just didn't get why I had been giving the best that I got and no one seemed ready. Then I did some self reflection and after deciding that they might not all be fullofshitnogoodniggasthataintnevergonnadorightbyme, I could see that it's simply a bad time in life to be bunned up. The futures so foggy I can barely see where my next footstep will land. I'm not sure what the next 2 or 3 months hold for me, I'm not sure about where I'll be living, where I'll be working, what mood I'll be in, or what haircut I'll have..I don't know anything! It would just be the worst thing for me to bring someone into that blurry equation. i feel like a frog making a big leap off of a lily pad and afraid that i wont land flat on the next. I'm making a big jump in life but I'm not quite sure what I'm jumping into and though a boyfriend might be a source of security it could also sway decisions that don't need to have anyone else's influence but my own. I was so into having a boo, I couldn't even see that this was a bad time for me just as much as it is for them. The dating life is fun, it's nice to have things easy and breezy and can often me a glimpse of sunshine in a cloudy and uncertain reality. I dont know if you can tell but I'm really having post grad anxiety! It makes me nauseous just thinking about it.

On a less sickly note, I am looking forward to when I am ready to take the plunge. Being intimate, not physically but emotionally and spiritually, with someone is an experience like no other. Have you ever loved someone so much that you wanted to melt into them? It sounds so pyscho...but my friend and I were talking about this yesterday while riding around Baltimore. When you're in love the butterflies are just so sick and never ending- that place where the only thing you're scared of is losing them and that feeling that you all share. When that day and time comes, it will be a beautiful thing. I look forward that experience but until then I'm working on doing me to the fullest and cherishing each and every millisecond of it.

Now Playing: Its Whatever- Aaliyah

Updates!

2008-03-04T12:09:00.003-06:00

Hey world, I know i've been a little MIA on the blog scene but life has really been happening! So I'm a regular bloggerist on Lenzism so please check me out and show some love. I talk about fashion, spot hot @$$ mess, and feature tons of products. We're really trying to do big things over at Lenzism so support! I also just got a job as a key holder at Lush Cosmetics - yesterday was my first day and so far so good! I'm excited about the possibilities with the company, since its worldwide and has a branch in just about any city you ever wanted to live in or visit there are lots of options. I'm thinking this is my perfect way to move to LA or NYC. Its a fun and enjoyable bread and butter job that still allows me the time and flexibility to pursue my ambitions without moving too far away from my field. I mean the bills have to be paid, being a starving artist is not what's good in the hood. Please believe mama will be getting money... being a paper chaser is in my DNA and having about 3-4 hustles is not foreign to me. So, here it is...grind time. It begins now...I didn't get the job at Lush because I'm currently in need of money but the opportunity came and I took it, knowing that I didn't want to have to scramble to find one when I was finally cut the teets of my parents. Plus all my friends have jobs so if there's no one else to bs with what's the fun of free time?

In other news one of bests just got an interview at Giant. Cool right? It reminds me of how I need to return to my hard pursuit of journalism. While I'm sooo open to do fashion pr or production or styling, I've always wanted to get into magazines. I've applied to a really crucial internship for the summer at on publication and I think I'm a great candidate but we'll see. I'll be applying to more soon but if its fulltime it has to be paid. I don't see how people can do that...fulltime unpaid internships? WHHHHAAAAT?! How do you eat like that? There are so many uncertainties in my life right now...Ugh.

I do know one thing for sure...I'm going to be somebody!

Congrats on Getting Signed on to BadBoy

2008-02-24T22:34:00.001-06:00

This song is my motivation when things don't seem to go my way...Enjoy!

I Love When It Rains Outside

2008-02-06T22:00:00.000-06:00

Okay...now that that bit is done.So the beat doesn't stop and neither does time.

Nope. Not for anyone- not even me.

So, I've been breaking my strike; there's no real way I can. Tonight I went to this concert/recital here on campus called Love Story [if you go to HU, I'm sure you heard about it]...either way, I really did not what it was or why it was $12 but I went anyway because I wanted to support my friends. It's always so interesting when you see someone that you were once involved with and you all see each other again. What's even more interesting is when you are in a romantic environment but neither is with anyone or care to be. Unless it was with each other.

Have you ever just wanted to break the silence and say, "hey, I'm still here and I still care" but pride mixed with fear stopped you. That's a big move...to be vulnerable, to be real. I feel like I've already been the bigger person by calling him and leaving a message, "hey its yasmine, I'm just calling to clear somethings up." and that was over a week ago. I wont go up and speak to him if he's speaking to everyone around me but me. I tell myself that things will work themselves out...hopefully the way I want them to.

Although I feel like it will- I still see the want in his eyes.

On a lighter note, please check out my new blog column, Haute Sh!t, on the ever humorous Lenzism.

Now Playing: You Made a Fool of Me, India Arie.

Just Like The Writers

2008-01-22T08:13:00.001-06:00

...I'm going on strike. I don't know whether or not it's something I'm doing wrong but I definitely keep attracting all the wrong guys. So, I'm going on strike. I'm just going to let the love quest take a backseat to everything else. Easier said than done, I know but I think it's necessary. I need to do some self-reflection before I end up slicing one of these knuckleheads. Doesn't matter what age they seem to be, I've had 21, 22, 24, 26...they all bullshit- they just have different styles of bullshitting me. One tried to play the sincere honesty guy who just wasn't ready, one tried to get me caught up in his black consciousness scheme, the latest whole thing was that "he was a grown man" ..."we're both adults"..."I won't look at you any different if you give it up on the first night"...You may not, but I will! They make me want to scream. So instead of waking my roommates up, who seemingly never have anything to do in the morning, I'll just said fuck it and leave it alone.

Now Playing: Celibacy Blues- Jill Scott

...Though, I'm not sure whether or not this strike will include dates or not, sometimes that free dinner is what gets you through the night. On second thought, I think they will- that's how the grown man showed his ass.

Taking the Sugar and THE LEMON

2008-01-10T23:17:00.000-06:00

Today was my first day on the beginning of a big internship with the EVP of a major television network and while it's not directly fashion related it will help me get to where I want to go if I grind hard enough. It's 12:38 AM and it feels more like 4am- I've been up since 7 something this morning. In just 8 hours I've learned so much and met so many people. It makes me happy to have put myself out there and up for scrutiny for the sake of tapping into a connection.

As great and challenging as my internship has been I'm (once again) dissapointed with how people [ergo men, or a particular man] decided to act. He saw me in our school's Punchout (the cool fast food cafeteria geared to upperclassmen) and did not say one single word. Then for whatever reason I saw him at happy hour. He generally isn't one to be on the happy hour/ bar/lounge scene - he's more of a house party guy so I never thought he would be there even though all his friends were but of all nights this was the night he was dragged out of the house. He basically said he had been distant because he felt bombarded with questions regarding us and how he basically didn't want to constantly be associated with me or be known because me or whatever..."It's all just too high profile for me, honestly." There goes that damn word again, "honestly". Whatever. I'm done.

It's so crazy how on a day where I learn the most and am faced with my future, I have some of the hardest personal realities. I'm out of it. Tired. I have a headache...

Now Playing: Whole Town Laughing At Me - Jagged Edge

2008-01-07T23:54:00.000-06:00

I AM BEGINNING TO SEE THE LIGHT...

My friend always used to call me naive and gullible. The truth is I really am. People [guys] are always innocent until proven guilty with me but I'm truly beginning to think that it should be the other way around.
Here's the breakdown:
I've heard of Summer Love and Spring Flings - but I've never in my life heard of a Winter Break Romance. I feel so bamboozled and it didn't even happen to me. Basically my friends and I are at the party and this guy starts coming on to my friend. He's being uber aggressive and she is attracted too so they exchange digits and he takes it from there. Everyday he's calling her, trying to see her, they go out on numerous dates, hugged up in the club...it was a whirlwind romance. He met her momma, her dog, and she was beginning to get used to all of this attention. Initially she had her suspicions and even asked him about his current relationships, he admitted to "talking" to some girl from another state who was away for the break but he reassured her that it wasn't anything deep enough to stop him from exploring things with her.
So they continued...
This particular friend is extremely jaded and lets almost nothing really get to her but in the span of two weeks [before Christmas and after New Year's] he had begun to break down her barriers. She was almost open - when things fell apart.
Right when she started to care he pulled the rug right from under her, saying how he "didn't mean for things to escalate" and how his "heart" is really with the chick from out of state and how they've been through so much over the past "two years" and asked if they could still "be cool". WTF?! How convienient for it to be the day before her return. I was hurt.
I know it didn't happen to me, but it's happened before and happens all too often. Sure, "at least he was honest" but let me be frank...Honesty is a b-i-t-c-h! It's like he went out of his way to play her? What's the purpose of pursuing someone so adamatly just to renig a few weeks later? I feel horrible because I was really encouraging of him. I thought he was a sincere dude [yea, he's honest but I'm not so sure about how good his intentions were] and I wanted her to let him in and let her guard down a bit. Bad advice on my part, huh? I'm so freakin' gullible. You'd think that out of all of the misadventures I've had in love that I would be at least a bit jaded. Nope, not at all...to my demise. I'm like the bird that keeps running into the glass just because it seems see through. Hitting my head and falling back everytime. I trust too easily and don't make people earn it.
I never wanted to be one of those angry [black] women who always proclaimed, "_iggas ain't s-h-i-t!" but I'm honestly beginning to feel that way. There always seems some trick around the corner of bliss.

Now Playing: He Can Only Hold Her- Amy Whinehouse

2008-01-07T00:03:00.000-06:00

Seek Those Seeking You

Am I the only person without a true New Year's Resolution? I'm not going on a super new diet that garuntees that I'll lose 50 pounds in two weeks, I'm going to continue my Sprite addiction, and I will still eat beef every now and then even though it takes a month to digest. Yes, 2008 will be a GR8 year but it there won't be any changes due to unatural causes.

So Caleb, my youngest brother, is going through a few growing pains. He's 13 and in the 8th grade at the largest and one of the most prestigious private schools in the southeast. He's struggling to find his place in it all. Don't get me wrong, my baby bro isn't a "lame", he plays football and baseball, has an array of friends but Big Sissy always knows when K-Bird is faking the funk. One of his friends from Pre-K came over and prior to his arrival Caleb goes, "have you ever had a friend who you've known since Pre-K [though I was never in Pre-K] and you don't see each other that often and when you get older they're a little lame but you still have fun with them so you're still friends?" Honest question, huh? Well, I replied, "You know, the tides change alot when you're growing up. People who are cool in elementary may be lame in middle school or they may not be and people who are the ish in middle school may fall off it high school or they may not. All that to say that you can't base your friendships on people's popularity and if you're friend is honest, true, and fun then you stay their friend even when it's not popular." My mother thought that this was needed advice as she sensed Caleb's reservations. "He wants to be friends with this kid Ryan" she said, "and yes, Ryan's a nice kid but Caleb wants to be his friend because he's the star football player, his dad is a trainer for alot of professional football players, and he's really popular. What I try to instill in Caleb is that you can't choose your friends like that and you should seek those who seek you, Ryan's not the one calling wanting to come over."

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a bit crestfallen when I heard this. No one wants their sibling to be a "reacher"- needless to say, Caleb's getting my special lecture on "how to have true friends and make it look effortless." Tonight was my last real night in the A-town and I went to the Poetry Slam at The Apache Cafe. As I heard all of the spoken word artists rhyme verbal revelations, I had an epiphany of my own. I too should seek those seeking me instead of constantly reaching for something that may or may not be there. While I may have the popularity [whatever that means] thing on lock, I don't always seek men who seek me. One of my friends/lovedoctors made a comment, "Yaz, you like guys that are hard to get". I'm not sure what that's all about but it is a bit true. Why don't I give the time to guys who are just as excited about me as I am about them? I too am guilty of "reaching". It's a mess, ain't it? It's true though and I'm not ashamed of it because everyone's guilty. We all are like little Caleb trying to find his way. Okay, so after talking it out with myself, the computer monitor, and my dog, Sole, I guess my resolution is to seek those and that which seeks me (only if passes my 10 point inspection of course!)

Happy New Year Everyone!

Now Playing: All For You- Little Brother

2007-12-28T14:16:00.000-06:00

My apologies go out to Richard Bentley Young, and whom ever else may have been waiting on a end of the year post and my thoughts for 2008.
Let me first start by saying that the past week has been a whirlwind. One of my very best friends fulfilled my prophecy of being the first to get married. Okay, well she did halfway did anyway- she got engaged. On Christmas Eve at that! How romantic right? Her engagement brings on so many emotions. For one, it makes me feel so fucking old so quickly. When did we get grown? She was just driving her mom’s rusty Bronco that we named, OJ. I didn’t realize that we were even allowed to have boys call the house!!! I’m late! Okay, so that was a little extreme but really though I feel though we’re so young and even though she’s only a year and a few months older than me I’m surprised that her family was elated and supportive and that she wasn’t drowned with lectures about "living your life to the fullest before settling down with some man". She and her boyfriend have been dating for just about five years and I had been talking about who her Maid of Honor should be to avoid the drama. Who knew the very next day she’d tell me that he popped the question. Crazy?! I guess it was the natural flow of the relationship…it was truly at the final fly or die stage and the time isn’t necessarily bad – they’re both done with undergrad. He owns a home, she’s moving out on her own on the first of the new year. They both have good jobs, she’s going to grad school next semester. They’re definitely a young couple on a serious come up but I have all faith that their love and their financial saavy. (because I don’t believe love is ever enough)
Another weird thing that happened when she got engaged was this sudden pressure. It came from no where. It was like this gun went off to mark the beginning of a race. Not a singles race but a relay. Kinda’ like the "life has officially begun" gun and she’s waaaaay in the lead. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not ready to catch up to her. I can barely get a steady boyfriend, let alone a five year fire. I couldn’t even imagine being engaged, I don’t even like to play like that on Facebook. It’s just really crazy. I’m happy for her – super happy.
Another piece of my whirlwind is experiencing my very first bikini wax! WOW! That’s all I have to say. I’m guilty of sending models to get them before fashion shows but either I got a super bikini or this is the hell they go through just to weed the garden. I don’t want you all to think it was a jungle (not that you would be wondering but since I brought it up I just thought I’d clear my name) but I was always curious to see what wax could do. I actually hadn’t planned on getting a bikini wax, I went in with my younger godsisters, one who was getting a fill in and three others watching. It was Midtown Nails off of Ponce in the Whole Foods plaza. It looked clean, they all spoke very clear English and I said…hey why not. It’s not anyone will be seeing it for a while so if she messes up it’ll be a private matter. I felt like I was in a really bad but funny comedies- all I was missing was Owen Wilson or that guy from 40 Year Old Virgin, Asian wax artist included. It honestly didn’t hurt as much as it was invasive and blushworthy. When she told me to drop my the entire bottom half of my outfit (panties included) – I knew I was in big trouble. She offered a pair of disposable pair of undies to make me feel a little less out there but I soon found out that there wasn’t much coverage from them either. I was shocked that this personal of a service was offered for the extremely low price of "$22.00". I could tell she was very experienced with waxing as she went down there with no holds bar. I was so shocked, she was very thorough though. Even through all of the embarrassment, it honestly looks and feels great even though she got a little wax happy and left me with something in between a Bikini Wax and a Brazilian. What would you call that, a Brazini Wax?
2007 came and went so quickly. It has truly been an awesome year in so many ways. It was definitely The Year of Yasmine Part Deux. Since I’m the number #8, my expected graduation date is May 2008 and my birthday is in the 8th month I feel it’s only natural that 2008 will be another stellar year- The Year of Yasmine Part Trois. The only thing that scares me about good times is that where there is a mountain top there is also a valley somewhere really close. I’m nervous to think about whatever negative might happen. My only goals for 08’ is to graduate on time, get a good start with my career, and make my way back out to California!
Habari Gani Everyone and Happy New Year!

Now Playing: Break My Heart- Common

2007-12-13T10:15:00.000-06:00

A Sentimental Mood

I'm not sure if it has anything to do with my new found appreciation for Smooth Jazz and listening to the rain but I have been in a very sentimental mood. So, to tie it in with the blog I decided to go back a little and revisit my top 8 favorite posts (in no particular order- get your clickers ready!).

8. "Coming Out" I love this post so much because it really was a postmark in my life and showed me so much about myself, being honest with myself and my feelings yet having to put 'me' aside and accept a friend. Now while this guy actually "defriended" me about 2 months ago over some nonsense, (i just chuck up to him going through alot and not knowing how and where to channel his emotions) he still taught me so much and I love him dearly.

7. "Motherhood, Marriage, and The Racial Divide" This takes me back to my more journalistic approach. I felt this post had some hardcore principles of journalism action going on plus some very bold statements made that I still feel like have some credence.

6. "Ujima" I love telling stories (true ones) and this one tops mosts. It was a crazy night where I bonded with some ladies who I still know and always share this night with. Just read ...

5. "The Reason Why I Hustle" This posts marks a landmark in my rise. Interviewing Chris Robinson was still one of my favorite moments to date. I was so happy to share it with my favorite magazine diva, Charreah too! Thanks for the invite :)

4. "The Industry" I love the industry, it brings the most colorful characters out and gives fuel to some of my funniest moments. This post was a mix of storytelling and introspective spoken thoughts.

3."Over It" I know I'm always talking about relationships and how people can't ever seem to get it together, well get together for that matter but I feel as though this posts goes into more of the real reason why as opposed to just venting.

2. "It Can't Always be R-A-I-N-B-O-W-S" You can't win them all...you just can't and I'm living proof. Ce la vie.

1. "Vulnerability" As much as I hate to revisit my bloody posts of the far past, there's something about the first time your fingertip hits the keypad to expose your thoughts, feelings, and ideas to the public. I used to be an emotional writer and while I feel as though my posts still carry a sense of passion I used to let my feelings bleed on the page. Not always a good look but I'm growing..

Hope you read, enjoy, comment and maybe learn something new about me or even you.

Here's one more just for comedy's sake "My Theories of Late on Why Fighting In The Club Increases Your Star Power"

Now Playing: In a Sentimenal Mood - John Coltrane (of couse...)

2007-12-10T11:44:00.000-06:00

Seven Down ...One To Go (prayerfully)

I just knocked out two finals (both from 10:00am-12:00pm) in French and Principles of Reasoning plus a Final project in Textiles. This past weekend I did nothing but study, eat, poop, sleep, shower, study, eat, poop, and study some more. I feel great because I know I did well in both exams even though I had added pressure from my Principles of Reasoning Professor to "work hard on the final" meaning this is do or die. So I did. I have one more semester left and it is more pressure than ever. As of right now I'm enrolled in 18 credits and I know I have to add at least one more class which makes that 21 credit hours. I'm really going to have to push it to the limit in this last leg of the race. Go until I can't go anymore...

I am terrified.

Now Playing: A Soulful Christmas

2007-12-02T02:12:00.000-06:00

The Power Hour

We would've been happy with just one hour of uninterrupted mischievous fun. A senior prank of sorts- a midnight party in the Blackburn Ballroom. The audio equipment was being set up, people were steadily arriving, and the lights were being adjusted. Then the pigs came, well the guinea pigs anyway...campus police. The silent killer of the party that could've been. This is what college is all about...this and actually getting your degree.

Now Watching: Waiting to Exhale

2007-12-01T03:08:00.000-06:00

It's 4am, I'm Just Getting Home-Tonight Was a Good Night

So, I've changed my mojo. I was on this grand quest for love and what was true in life but after assessing all that my surroundings has to offer I've realized that what I want may just have to wait but I can definitely keep myself occupied until that time comes. I mean you're only young, fly, and good looking once right? (after that you become older, fly and goodlooking ;) Anyway, my girls and I decided that tonight was a good night to celebrate our youth and seek new additions to our Little Black Books. On a mission we were!

It started at my bgf, Mike's house, he was the host house for a recent HU Law grad's going away party. To say the very least we were entirely overdressed! It was 11pm and we were in our FREAKUM OUT dresses and they were in jeans, hoodies, and few women had on high heel boots. Not to mention that we only knew my friend and his three other friends. It was soooo awkward. After being stared down by the law students, we...well I, got a rum and coke and bounced. None of them were cute anyway ...pshhhh.

So it was a slow start for sure but once we found ourselves at Jin Lounge on 14th and U it was all uphill from there. We were actually on our way to Tabaq on U St. but passed Jin on the way and the bouncer looked at us and said "hey ladies, you all should check us out...Free cover." In we were, it was cold and Jin seemed to warm and inviting. Upon entering we were welcomed by man who looked like some odd blend of Keith Sweat and Johnny Gill and my, my, my did he dance?! I mean it was 'dance fever' (ode to The Wood) in there!!!! I've never seen grown ass men dance so hard. It was like they took 1989 right out of their back pocket with the integrity of each dance move in tact- some of which I had never even seen before.

There we encountered half of HU Med students and HU Engineer Alumn. It was great...quality men, though sometimes a bit corny, were sincere and weren't overly concerned with trying to holler. It was great. We were the belles of the ball in there. Men actually asked you to dance as opposed to accosting you from blindly from behind. It was so refreshing.

We definitely plan on taking another trip to Friday Nights at Jin Lounge, especially since my DJ Coach, DJ Premonition, is the standing DJ every Friday. I loved it...(they also have an impressive martini menu- loved the Drink Pink)

After an hour or two we left and went to ever open Diner in Adams Morgan. Anyone who knows DC knows that you cant end a perfect club night Uptown without finishing it at The Diner. Where we met Morehouse Alum, the newest member of the Adrian Fenty staff, and a Loan Dealer (not so sure about that one...) I wonder what made us magnets tonight? Was it the confidence? (I thought I always exuded that) Or was it that we really just didn't care - one way or another?

Now Playing: I Like- Guy

2007-11-26T20:15:00.000-06:00

Home Is Where The Heart Is

So I went home for the Thanksgiving Holiday and I got a big dose of reality. It's something so humbling about going home, no one treating you any different because of your accomplishments, your mom making you go to the grocery store and cooking

dinner when all you want to do is go to Little 5

Points...Having to watch and entertain your younger family members...taking your sister and cousin to see Chris Brown in This Christmas even though the movie sucked ass and you were really trying to get up with your "at hom

e boo". This Thanksgiving was straight out of Southern Living or some movie, we had everything from Kim's Broccoli and Wild Rice Casserole to my mom's famous Cajun Turkey with shrimp stuffing, Granny's Greens, Dad's Tofurkey and soooo much more. This was the most culinarily (I don't think that's a word but whatev) diverse Thanksgiving ever...we had tofu, turkey, beef, seafood and every side imaginable. My mom made everyone write down what we

were thankful for and before we had our toast everyone read a card...it was actual very moving.

Like we do every year, we went to the Bayou Classic in New Orleans. This year was definitely the best yet! Last year, I was running from Delta's down there like the plague and this year I was one! It was

great...and I'm finally 21 (not like

that stops most people) but I could do anything and go anywhere. Having a legal i.d. is like a license to kill and I definitely did that. Daiquiris

...Hand Grenades...Red Headed Sluts (shouts out to JP!) ....I loved every second of this break! I love my family, my sorority sisters, and my friends!

Now Reading: Hung by Scott Poulson-Bryant

Reminiscent of KP and Envy back in the day...or maybe The Ghostown Djs

2007-11-17T13:08:00.001-06:00

Hilarious. That's all I have to say...

2007-11-11T16:46:00.000-06:00

Crash & Burn

...that's what I think of the welfare of all relationships formulated on Howard's campus have amounted to. Sure, there's the occasional one or two steady relationships that were born in Locke and bread with lunchdates in Blackburn but really people aren't trying to settle down. I remember coming up through the years and noticing as upperclassmen became seniors, they began to couple up- that is certainly not the case with the class 2008/2008.5. Last night my friends and I could barely come up with 1 couple in a serious relationship in our class. We managed to list about 3 pairs but they were all people who were relatively low key. There is no one on the Howard "scene" who's commited to just one person. There are a few that juggle a few different relationships and then some who will deny till' they die that they even are involved with anyone. I really don't understand this mentality, maybe I'm strange fruit or cut from different cloth but I just don't get how people go on with all of these fruitless relationships. I wonder which ones of us will be the one to say, "oh yes, me and ________ met at Howard and ended up getting married." I'm not salty, I promise, I just am curious to know where has the sincerity gone?

In other news, since I have no love life of which to speak - I have thrown myself into my career (or building one for myself anyway). Please check out my new Myspace page... http://www.myspace.com/yasmineharema

Now Playing: anything J*Davey

2007-11-04T00:20:00.001-05:00

I'm so over it...No, really I'm too through. Men and women play so many games whether they want to/realize it or not...and for what? NOTHING is the answer. I just got home from Lucky Strike and I felt like I was alone in a huge crowd of people, not because no one was talking to me but I just alone in how I was feeling. It seemed like the whole bar was on some other stuff. There was this whole game where the women were talking to wack/corny/generally substandard men just because they were buying from the bar. I guess I'm not really up for suffering through pointless conversation just for a Blue Razz or Lucky Lemonade. Is it just me? I don't like giving out my number unless I really want to hear from the guy and I don't give fake numbers because I feel like that's childish. The whole mingling scene is dumb to me. Unless I really see something that sparks my interest then I really don't care to exchange numbers or get to know a person. This might sound strange but I really don't like meeting new people. It's just very awkward and you don't know anything about them, where they're coming from, who they are- they're essentially a stranger.
It's not just in the bar/club scene where these mindless games are played, it happens in relationships too. I'm currently in the talking/negotiating phase of a relationship with this one guy...oh you don't know what that phase is? It's basically when you're mutually feeling one another but aren't quite exclusive but you're establishing your terms of agreement. Anyway, in relationships people still play games even when they say they aren't. You want to call but you don't because the last two times you called so now you want him to...Or he texts you more than he calls so you stop answering his texts so he'll call more. You date other bullshit guys because you don't want to put all your eggs in one basket even though you know he's the only guy really worth your time. All these silly juvenile games we play for what? So we don't get played.
Everyone's so afraid of being rejected that we hinder ourselves from truly loving and living. We're always afraid of liking someone more than they like us. We edit our true feelings until God knows when...Can someone please tell me when the walls come down? When is it okay to say what you completely feel? At this rate I don't see how anyone's getting married. It's so many smoke and mirrors in this thing called dating. I thought things would be simple if I sat back and let a man pursue me but so many guys are addicted to the chase that you can never really care for them in return without them becoming disinterested. I've had multiple guy friends tell me that they love it when a girl plays hard to get and then when she eventually comes around he's done with her and on the the next. Aint that a mess? How does that work?
It's really frustrating and disheartening.

Now Playing: This Ain't Me -B.Hines

2007-10-24T23:25:00.001-05:00

The Meltdown:
Homecoming is finally over and it's all down here from here. I register for my classes for next semester on Monday. I'm scared to say the least, partly of failing but mostly of passing and being forced into the real world. I'm currently on a campaign to find a job- shaking hands and kissing babies- it ain't no joke! The fashion show was HAUTE to say the least. The designers were amazing and the models were gorgeous. We featured Project Runway's Mychael Knight (www.mychaelknight.com), Chargrels Couture (www.chargrels.com), Aquaponi (www.aquaponi.com), and the bold and beautifully ecletic Janelle Monae (www.janellemonae.com). The Hilltop's grade was definitely poorly stated especially since most of them didn't even attend the show and in case they were going off of their staff writers article they're still in bad shape since her story obviously wasn't edited one bit. Each year I do something new with my hair, whether cut or color, this year I fell into black. I know I'm not the first to do it, but it looks damn good. I've never had dark hair before but I love it and it's perfect for the season. It's interesting how hair color can give you a completely different image. In other news I just got a brand spanking new Mac Book Pro with the 15'4'' monitor! I'm so excited to finally have the computer of my heart's desire.

2007-10-16T10:51:00.000-05:00

It's Been a Long Time - I Shouldn't Have Left You....

So, school is going great. My grades/classes/social life is great. I just haven't had the energy nor time to write. I know some bloggers make it a daily task but I never want writing to become a 'task' to me so I just write when my spirit moves me to. The fashion show is two days away...I'm so excited about it and nervous all in one. There are some stellar people coming up from Atlanta like the Aquaponi girls, Janelle Monae, and Mychael Knight! Everyone asks if I'll do another Atlanta scene like I did last year and I answer, "no" because that was a one time thing but I will always pay homage to my hometown through the talents in which I scout. Can I just say how nervous I am...I don't know why I am just a ball of nerves. I feel like the show is going to be the shit no doubt but I just want it to be extraordinary.

Okay, I've got to go now, but I'll be back shortly (forreal this time) and give you all updates on how everything went.

Now Playing: Holdn' Back - Marques Houston feat. Mya and Shawnna

PS: How do you get a guy to kiss you?

2007-08-26T22:45:00.001-05:00

There Is Something So Double sided About Birthdays.

Let me just start by saying my 21st birthday has been great. I planned a 3 day weekend of it. Starting with an all girls (well, that was the intent but it was happily crashed toward the end) cake, champagne, strawberries and pedicure party. Then my bgf (best guy friend) Mike set up a really slamming chin dig at Andalu Bar and Lounge where all guests got in free ALL NIGHT (even though it was only supposed to be until 12am) with VIP. Then to end it all off my aunt threw me a really super dinner party at her amazing place. While I couldn't have asked for a better birthday and felt so much love and support from my friends and family there is something melancholy about birthdays. Among all the joy and anticipation there is something sad that happens on your birthday and I can't quite figure out what it is. Really there shouldn't be any sadness but then again it's only your birthday not a national holiday.

I've always wanted a surprise party but too afraid to actually have one. I blame it on the "Virgo" in me and say its because no one knows what I want like I know what I want but truly its because I don't think anyone would actually do it for me. So I just plan my own parties. I guess what makes me think that is that I planned a surprise party for one of my best friends and then she asked me what I was doing for my birthday very flippantly. It seems little I know but what if I had no answer? Would she have done all the things for me that I did for her? 21 is a big year, you don't get another big birthday until 25 and it's really random to have a huge party for an age like 23 so would I have had another hum drum birthday dinner at some restaurant chain? If I left it up to others to plan my birthday? Would they know me better than to try to take me to Cheesecake Factory or Benihana's? (no offense to anyone who might like those options ...I actually did Cheesecake Factory for my 15th birthday) Do my friends know me like I think they do or should?
In other news I am currently looking for my Tiffany's cross necklace that I wear everyday. I took it off because it clashed with a very ornate pearl necklace I wore on Friday but due to my inebriation I can't remember where I laid it down. It's making me sick to my stomach literally. I've had a bad attitude since I lost it.
That's all I feel like writing right now....just wanted to update you.

Now Playing: Drink and My Two Step- Cassidy

2007-08-02T23:16:00.000-05:00

The Terminal.

From 5:15 am until 8:28pm I have been in the airport. Not even one ... two. Damn those sumbitches of AirTran Airways...X-fare can be the best of times and the worst of times. Today was the sticky black stuff at the bottom of the barrell.

6:35am- after being at the airport realizing that I will be there for at least another 5 hours I decide to take a nap.

6:45am- a woman comes rushing toward the gate in a frenzy. the door is closed. she proceeds to BANG ON THE DOOR with all her might. people begin to stare. (Is this bitch crazy? don't she know that will lock her butt up? even if she is a white woman.) She is now crying- really hard.

6:48am- she proceeds to bust the terminal door open. (after I tried to tell her that the door to the plane was closed) after that all hell broke loose. the gate attendents were shocked and immediately called security. the police came.

Apparently, the woman's mother had just died. I felt horrible for her, but I wished she would've had someone traveling with her to knock some sense into her. I guess we all have a breaking point when we loose all sanity. This was hers and I am sure she will always remember the day she posed a threat to national security.

10:38 am- I wake up to the face of my youngest brother, Caleb. "hey Yasmine!" Turns out my grandfather, brother, and two cousins were on that flight. Too bad they weren't and I didn't make it.

After one more try at the 12:40 flight, DeMone the super friendly customer service agent for AirTran suggested that we (me and my newly found travel buddies) hightail it to Dulles for more favorable flights.

1:00pm- we were off. Me, Lindsay (an Aka who just graduated from Western Kentucky with a degree in anthropology), and Juliano (a Brazilian pro-tennis player who'll be in the US Open in few weeks and wore these obnoxious Gucci shades even in the metro)

1:05pm - on the blue line toward largo town center, off at Rosslyn, catch the A5 west to Dulles

2:30pm- finally at Dulles, to wait..................and wait ............................and wait.

I was drunk off of naps and too many sex tips from the Cosmo I was reading. Lowkey though, I hate Cosmo for that very reason and since I subscribe to the cool fashion mags there was no reason to buy them. So Cosmo it was.

6:37pm- I receive the golden ticket. A SEAT assignment! Too bad, it was two more hours of waiting.

10:00pm- I finally touch down in the A. My ears still haven't unpopped. I blow my nose and all of a sudden I feel a sharp pain in my ears. The room is spinning and I seriously think I may be laid out on the women's bathroom floor in terminal A of Hartsfield-Jackson. Poor Lindsay seemed more alarmed than me.

10:05pm- I pull it together and am finally in the comfort of this magical brand new white lincoln navigator my mother "rented" (it has paper tags).

I'm home. Finally.

Now Playing: any and everything Jazmin Sullivan

FYI: I added a playlist...hope you enjoy!

2007-07-27T22:26:00.000-05:00

"Clouds and Whipped Cream"...
sometimes that's all it really is.

When I was a kid I thought that clouds were something you could hold. Something like cotton that levated up in the sky. Then I took my first plane ride and realized that it was merely a "visible mass of condensed droplets, frozen crystals suspended in the atmosphere above the surface of the earth." We flew through them as if they had no weight, they were nothing. Much of the same thing is whipped cream. When atop a dessert one can certainly be lead to believe that that whipped cream is in fact vanilla ice cream. I hate whipped cream for that very reason. Anytime I'm eating my favorite brownie a la mode at The Diner I must say "hold the whipped cream" because I hate being mislead. I hate believing that the whipped cream is something that its not. It looks too similar to the ice cream.

Do you smell what I'm stepping in? Do you see where I am going?
Not yet?
Fair Enough...

In life so many things are not what they seem. Looking at something (may it be a person, experience, thing) you may think it has so much depth, or its so extraordinary- when the fact of the matter is that its not. And then you have to live with that deceit. Its like coming down on the whipped cream on a spoon or flying through a cloud and realizing that there's nothing truly there. Or better yet what is there isn't worth the hype.

Now Playing: Cute - Canton Jones

2007-07-25T12:54:00.000-05:00

Countdown to Meltdown.

Its 80 days until Homecoming. 289 days, 19 hours, 52 minutes and 57 seconds to graduation and the pressure is ON FULL BLAST. Christmas Break my junior year my aunt tells me that my mother has asked her to begin the planning stages of my graduation party. Normally when the world party is involved I am immediately excited however, who's to say that at that point I would even graduate on time? Now, 8 months later I have the same tiny fear. Don't get me wrong, I am scheduled for an on time commencement. However there are other factors involved...well one mainly. PASSING. Normally I wouldn't be all too concerned about that because except for a math class and one physical eduation that I never (no, not even once.) attended, I've never actually failed a class. However this year I'm going up against principles of reasoning which I hear is a beast no matter who you take. Mind you I'm a pretty good writer and thinker as well so I'm not sure what's so hard about it. But I've seen the class take people in and spit them them right back out again. Plus, I have statistics too! I've got to pass...there is no room for for anything else. I have to graduate ....ON TIME or it will be the death of me. Literally.

As far as Homecoming Goes...Its like my child. Each year coming up with a concept and seeing your vision grow, change, and come alive at the end. Comprise can be so frustrating and doing the remedial tasks like drafting agreements can be annoying. But its coming up quick and no stone can be left uncovered. Oh yea, let me just say if we're ever out please don't feel obligated to introduce me as the coordinator of the Howard Homecoming Fashion Show coordinator. It's sorta' annoying. For one, most people don't care. For two, those that do care will find out on their own. For three, if I would like for them to know I'll send them my resume or bring up in natural conversation. All that other stuff is so unnecessary. I feel the same way about Delta and being at Howard for that matter. It's so corny to me to give a random person your verbal resume every single time you shake their hand. I'm really big on networking but showboating has NEVER been my steez.

I've been thinking that I could really make something of this fashion show production business. I've been getting calls lately to help out with different shows around DC and Atlanta and I'm thinking I could make this my thing. I know its sounds silly that I'm just now thinking this but there really is a market for fashion show production. I've finally what to put on my business card. I know it's a sin or whatnot to not have a business card, but I never really had the "right" title for mine. I'm getting there ya'll....all in God's timing.

Now Playing: You Must Love Me- Jay-Z

2007-07-21T13:30:00.000-05:00

Case of The X

So here I am. Back on my soapbox. Sitting here at work (http://www.stellableu.com be on the lookout for our new online boutique!). Bored, eating my strawberry lemon water ice from next door trying to avoid the ever dreaded brain freeze. I've been pondering this subject for a minute now, it's really been bothering me and I've been trying to figure out why. I think I've got it. They've all got one (men that is)...
"Got what?" you ask...
An Ex-girlfriend!
And I hate them all dearly.
It's just a matter of time before they rear their suprisingly beautiful head up in each and every relationship. Now, when I meet a guy and we start getting to know each other I just countdown in my head until she reveals herself because unless he's still unabashadley mourning over her - he'll try to hide the fact that she's still there. It's okay though...she'll make herself known. Unnecessary/obnoxious Myspace/Facebook posts referencing past experienes. Constant text messages. Random emails/voicemails .....She's relentless.
Every guy has one. Whether is past relationship ended good or bad, she's still there and still affects him one way or another. She's the reason he has commitment issues...she's the reason he can never spend the night...she's the reason he does this or won't do that. Its frustrating really, how this person from the past has so much precedence in his present.
What's even crazier is that while I hate ex-girlfriends....I am an ex-girlfriend. Every woman is and each of us has had a hard time letting go. We all have reaked havoc on our ex's life in some way or another...Whether we felt like he was always going to be there despite his new girlfriend, or maybe we wanted to give it another try, or we remained "friends" that make uncomfortable references in the presence of others about our past. We've all been guilty of being that blasted ex that just won't accept the fact that she is just that. An Ex.

My Love- Ciara

2007-07-13T12:17:00.001-05:00

Bearing Your Daily Cross

I've never been uber religious (which used to get me in big trouble at my Christian high school) but I do have a strong sense of who and what God is to me. I definitely believe that everyone has a burden to bear ...a daily cross to wear on your back...your personal protest....what you alone must fight for in your life. I think I have figured mine out. Some kinda' way I got mixed in with the "role model" pile. I was just living my life trying to do my thing and the next thing I know I have godsisters, cousins, and family friends looking to me (.....................................................................excuse me while i help the 3 self-proclaimed "faggies try on our women's Joe's Cigarette cut jeans........................................................................................) as an example of what to do - may it be right or wrong. Growing up I always looked to my mother's bestfriend's daughter, Chante' for all that was cool and worthy in life. Chante' was a lot like me... short, cute, and stylish- she cheered, had great grades, popular, and super lovable. I loved coming to DC and being her miniature sidekick- anything Tae' did I wanted to do too. What I've learned is that I'm now someone else's Chante'. I have my own league of proteges now to help mold into women of purpose. I know this is a really random thing to blog about but I feel a great deal of responsibilty to be a good role model and I definitely think about that on a regular basis. I have come to realize that this is my daily cross to bear. I'm not sure who said this but I definitely agree with them..."I do this for the people."

now playing: prototype- andre 3000

2007-07-06T11:54:00.000-05:00

Bag Brotha'

So, clearly I'm on the job being non-compliant but I'm just too excited that the Internet is finally working here that I couldn't help to update my readers on this so called fabulous life. I apologize for the delay in posts but I'm not really near a working computer regularly...its kinda messed up my cyber life but too much facebook and myspace is beginning to breed losers so I guess it's okay by me. Remember that Erykah Badu song, "Bag Lady"? She should have made a remix called, "Bag Brotha'" because all the guys I'm running into lately have soooo many hang-ups about women, girlfriends that are only part-time, or ex girlfriends that are really full time lovers. Who knew it was like this? Where was I when every other woman was figuring out that they all were the same the closer toward the end you got? Baggage is a very feminine trait ...or at least that's how I feel. What happened to other young people like myself? Carefree...easy going...not up for a lot of drama - really I just want someone that's open, easy to talk to, and attractive *too many time people try to front like they don't have to be attracted physically...well, I'll be the FIRST one to say. The brother needs to be FINE*
The more I think about it, I've always had some guy occupying my time energy. A permanent date of sorts...but now that I'm looking a little further outside my window it's looking a bit gloomy. Everyone seems to have issues surrounding them. "Oh, so and so he's a nice guy but ( Fill in the appropriate tragic downfall) " It's disturbing really...how can people so young be so filled with stress and angst. Who took their cookie? I've had my fair share of ups and downs, successes and heartbreaks ...some of which I've blogged about but never would I allow myself to be so wounded by life's hardships that I couldn't see a good thing coming. I'm definitely trying not to be one of those angry uber realist black women that think all men are either uneducated, in jail, or gay and if they're "good" then they're already taken however I'm starting think my strong black sistas *snaps* might have a point. For now though I'll continue to believe the world is my oyster and anything I desire is there for me to have ...eligible men included. After all, ignorance is bliss isn't it? Let's hope so.

Free- Mya

2007-06-20T21:44:00.000-05:00

shouts to the family!
Just wanted to give a shoutout to my family who I now know read regularly and have spread it amongst themselves unbeknownst to me! lol. HEY EVERYBODY! *waves at the camera* Anyway, my little cousin sent me the greatest email ever and that's the kinda' thing I live for. Letting me know that I'm a positive force, an inspiration, and a cool kid. It made my heart smile. I honestly don't mind anyone reading my blog, for if I did it'd be set to private ...after all this is a blog not a DIARY! I keep the two very seperate. I'll admit there are a few statements that will make me blush when I think about cousin Dolly or Peter reading with their cup of coffee but then again I only publish things I don't mind the WORLD WIDE web reading. Ce' la vie. So since I've been informed that my blog is the hot topic of the family I figured I'd give them a shoutout!

For those who haven't been keeping up with the life of Yasmine (the daughter of Ed) via "google" or our annual Christmas cards here's my rundown:

*I'm not pregnant (and I don't have any kids)

*I'm a Senior at Howard U.

*Easiest way to reach me is by email/phone/ or at Aunt *my aunt...your cousin* Wendy's

*I pledged Delta (sorry, I know most you guys are Aka's)

*I dont plan on getting married any time soon however if you're in the area next May come to my graduation and you can get free autographs (before I blow up!)

Anyway, I thought the email Serena (Nita's daughter) sent me was hilarious, sweet, a bit unnerving, and overall awesome. Glad to know my family's reading! lol.

PS: my reviews are way UP in the honesty box!

Now Playing: Family Reunion

2007-06-13T15:25:00.000-05:00

THE HONESTY BOX!

So about this "Honesty Box" phenom that has hit the world wide pages of Facebook. So far my appeal rate is 60/40. Sixty percent of people love me to pieces and the other forty percent are haters. Well, you can't please all the people, all the time now can you? In some ways I feel like the Honesty Box has taken the responsibility away from people. It's like you can just say whatever you feel without the repercussions of a reaction [unless of course like me you tell an old partner their stamina, or lack thereof, threw their entire stroke game off and they knew it was you so they wrote something smart in your box too]. After that incident I vowed to just be a positive force in the Honesty Box world, if I'd be ashame to admit to my remarks then I won't make them. Simple as pie.

The Honesty Box has begun to turn some wheels in my brain though...like, "what if I'm not really as cute/fly/smart/perfect as I think I am?" This is not just a personal thought though, it's more like we all pretty much think we're young, attractive, well liked and represented forces in our environments... but what if that wasn't so. It had me thinking, maybe people don't like me for my looks. Am I one of those people who when asked about people answer, "well, she's a really sweet girl." Actually they probably don't say that either because from what I'm seeing I'm not all that sweet. [ I take that back one person encouraged me to "STAY SWEET"]

The Honesty Box hasn't crushed my esteem but moreso made me be a realist in terms of coming to grips with how people truly view me and for that, I thank the makers of the Honesty Box. However, I do want to say one thing.... Fuck haters...GET MONEY! lmao.

What are your views?

Now Playing: Mo' Money More Problems - Notorious BIG

2007-06-04T22:58:00.000-05:00

So one my coolest guy friends came out to me yesterday.

I've got to admit I never saw it coming in a million gazillion years. It happened all so casually that I didn't even catch it. This is how it happened..
We had been having a usual comedic conversation when I asked him about his love life [which any one of my friends can tell you is so classic of me] and I said, "how are the girls in your life?" He replied "there are no girls, nor do I think there will be in the future." Now I almost didn't catch that last part as I only half way listen to him when he speaks...you have to understand our relationship to get that one...
So of course being the journalist that I am, I inquired further about what the hell that meant. And he just came out and said it ..."Yasmine, I'm gay."

WOAH! It hit me like a load of bricks...completely side swiped me...caught me completely off guard. What was I to say or do?

This all had to be a joke. So for the first hour I insisted that he's playing a really big prank [which would not be unlike him] and that I'm going to kill him for making me believe that this was his big, well not so big...pretty random and matter of factly, "coming out" conversation. When he first began giving me the discretion speech I really was still trying wrap my mind about what he was saying and what this meant for him, for me, for us. I never imagined him to ever be interested in something like Interactive Male.
As selfish as this sounds, part of me was really upset and hurt. Why? I'm still trying to figure it out ...ever since our conversation yesterday his sexual preference has been heavy on my heart. I have a good number of other gay friends. It's never been a big deal but mostly because I knew they were gay from the start. This friend...we've had sooo many long talks, intimate, soul searching...and over a year later I'm just finding out. A part of me is a bit upset because he's yet another super eligible black man that bit the dust. No woman will ever have the fortune of having a great guy like him as a husband or using his impeccable genes (unless they reproduce in some type of weird scientific way) I think I'm upset also because he just couldn't fight the stereotype...a good looking, style savvy, black man can't not be gay! Sometimes I feel like its an epidemic! In a way I'm super let down and that's why I believe I've been feeling a bit heartbroken.
When I think about it, I'm so shocked only because we were so close and it's kind of like an impressionistic painting. Just dots up close but when you step away from the situation you can see the whole picture.
We were always flirting friends and while I never wanted to see him naked, I did sometimes wonder how the act sex would affect the relationship [does that make sense? that I didnt want to have sex but wondered what it would bring?]. In some ways I thought of him as asexual but I guess I never believed him to be homosexual.
Now, while I do have hidden selfish feelings about my friends sexuality, I also am happy and honored that he shared himself with me in this manner. I feel great that he trusted me enough to tell me his feelings and somethings that he's never told a soul. I couldn't imagine going through life living a lie and I'm happy he's finally beginning to loosen his belt. I know that if he had a choice he wouldn't be gay and that's why I couldn't bring myself to let him know how I was truly feeling. I didn't want to turn his self-accepting victory and triumph into all about me and my fear of being a single woman forever plight.
Toward the end of our conversation I asked him, "so what, are you going to be my new gay best friend?" and he replied "I've always been your gay best friend."
I don't think I could have said it better, he's always been my gay best friend. I just never knew he was gay!

Now Playing: My Funny Valentine - Chaka Khan

2007-06-01T00:11:00.001-05:00

Home Sweet Home?

Forgive me for my absense I've been doing absolutely nothing blogworthy since I last wrote. However, some rising thoughts have caused me to question my place in this place called "home". I really think age, time, and distance is not so slowly but surely pushing me out of my position in my home in Atlanta. When I came home after freshman year it was like nothing changed, I just had a new network of college friends. After sophomore year I didn't come home but for a few weeks and not too much had changed except that my mother had given away all of my beloved childhood furniture and repainted my room from fushia to sea foam green! Now, 2 weeks after the end of my junior year - it's like I never even lived here...all my high school memorabilia (megaphone, cheerleading uniforms, pom poms etc) are all in the closet of the newly deemed "guest room". New more vogue and mature mahogany furniture fill the space giving it a serene, luxurious getaway feel. I'm not mad at my momma but dang, why couldn't I get the vanity when I was actually here to enjoy it?!

In a heated discsusion my mother blurted out that she wished I'd "hurry up and get back to DC" - that's when I finally realized that this house is no longer my home! While it's nice to visit the parental units its clear that my life is now resides in Washington, DC. It is a bit sad but ultimately true. I don't even have a 404 number...its 202?! Though I must admit, ATLANTA is the shit these days! (see photos [top to bottom]: 1. me and my linesister, K. Champagne 2. Crazy people of Sole Munki 3. My homeslice Z and her friend, Brian)

In other news I'll be in LA at the BET Awards later this month so if you're going to be there too holla' at a player! I feel like hustle is back on...this is gonna' look great on my resume!

Now Playing: I Did You Wrong- Mims

2007-05-21T20:38:00.000-05:00

WHEN IT RAINS IT FUCKING POURS!

I'm currently recovering from the most horrific 4 days of my life! When things seemed as nothing more could be wrong...what happened?! Shit got worse. Wanna hear the story? Well here it go...It all started with a barking cough...my nose was running, my chest had more snot in it than a four old's nose ever did. I was supposed to be moving out of my dorm that weekened, meeting older Sorors, going to my bff's graduation, and the graduation dinners of about 5 different people. Friday morning the raindrops began to fall...my mother called me in a tissy at 8 am in the morning telling me that I needed to find out which hospital my grandfather was going to and hurry because his wife was dying. Now, I know this may sound a bit curt but I never did like the bitch so it was rather interesting mustering up energy to get out bed that early but I did it for my grandpops. So I found the hospital, Washington Hospital Center, found intensive care and the Kindle room. Waiting were her grandchildren, sister, neices, and my uncle and grandfather pretty much all people who were sad that she was so ill. Whatever...the drama began when I went down to the gift shop and brought a Sprite, sipped some, then put it in my carry-all purse. When I get up to the weeping ...ahem, "waiting" room I realized my cold drink was leaking! It had spilled on my phone and within hours my cellular phone was caput (the third time within a year!) So then I knew trying to get my already irresponsible uncle, who actually worked in the PunchOut my first two years, to help move me out without a cell phone was going to be virtually impossible. I struggled to pack my belongings but keeping my computer on just so I had some contact to the outside world through AIM. After missing graduation, my bestfriend's graduation dinner (along with a host of others), and the first opportunity to move out my belongings from the dorm (which I was supposed to be out of the next day at noon)... I finally found a phone to get in touch w/ my uncle and some magical way an RA came to my room and told me they were waiting downstairs for me. Just as we were taking the things into my grandmother's it started to rain cats and dogs...it was a mess! And I found out that my grandfather's wife had indeed died, which I could believe because when I saw her the day before she had that deer in the headlights look in her eyes and she was fighting, probably the devil but only God knows that. The next day I had to figure out who was going to help me with the last bit of belongings I had...most people I would've called were either out of town, with their mothers, or tending to the dead bitch, excuse me I mean..."witch". So I immediately knew my plans to go home to Atlanta were postponed and that I would miss out on the AUC's infamous "Senior Week". Damn! Then the next day as I struggled to get all the rest of my belongings out of my dorm by noon (mind you I woke up at 10:30 as my alarm clock magically dissappeared), with no one to watch my belongings as I load them out, and wondering who was actually going to pick me up. It was a mess! Luckily my dear friend Michael watched my stuff for me (for hours at that) and let me use his phone on the hour! He was definitely the best thing that happened to me that entire weekend. My grandmother finally came to the rescue though she fussed all the while and I had to throw away my beloved floor lamp that had dimmers! ugh...I still get sick thinking about it. Then I was there at my grandma's for days...no numbers besides the ones I could get from my voicemail and phonebook, no internet, therefore no email, no cable. After a few days of that its reminiscent of That 70's Show which is NOT fun to actually live in. THEN...on top of allllllllll of that that my father get admitted into the hospital. I couldn't friggin' win for losing! To top it all off I had to sit in a 3 hour long FUNERAL for a woman who seemingly hated my guts! Well, I actually did that out of love for my grandfather...but ce la vie. I guess everyday can't be sunshine and freshed baked brownies...

Now Playing: Umbrella- Rihanna feat. Jigga

PS: just so you know things did get better I'm finally home and have a brand new white chocolate lg phone!

2007-05-09T23:43:00.000-05:00

EVIAN, PLEASE?!

I should be packing my life away right now but the fact of the matter is that I'm not because I felt as though I needed to pause for the cause and talk about the things that are really making me say, "wow". I got an invitation (Facebook invite on at that, I know it's convienient but Hallmark is always the classy way to go) to a baby shower to a girl who I, one haven't seen in over a year, didn't know was pregnant, nor married. Ain't that a trip?! I've written on her wall inquiring her whereabouts and a whole year of being missing in action she pops up not only with a husband, or at least I think she's married I haven't seen no wedding pictures or anything but I'm trusting that she's sincerely married and not bs-ing as people do on le' Facebook, but a bun in the oven! Should I just start drinking Deer Park and Dasani? It really seems like this pregnancy thing is in the tap! Everyone knows I CAN'T WAIT to have kids but damn I don't know about right now...I'm trying to have my house, 2 car garage, husband and everything before I start my family. I definitely respect those of my friends who have decided to step up to the plate and take care of their responsibility but it seems like a lot of people are being irresponsible in the bedroom these days. My mother always told me that people in college would come and go if not because of money, because of babies. I must say as a rising senior- it is certainly true. When I think about it most of our parents had us when they were in their early 20's and all of my friends are in their early 20's. I just guess it's just weird that we're at the age where we're mommies and daddies and doing just what our parents did. My first instinct is to react as if it's *gasp* "teen pregnancy"...but truthfully it's not. We're adults now whether we realize it or not. Having a kid is on hell of a reality check! One new life I am excited about is ZOE AMARIS! She's gonna be the shit...

Now Playing: Charlene- Anthony Hamilton

2007-05-02T17:11:00.000-05:00

Back in The Day

Remember in high school when you'd stay on the phone for hours with your crush. Your heart would flutter everytime you saw that person or their number would come up on the caller ID. Instead of feeling like a junior in college I feel like I'm right back in my momma's house and only a 16 year old junior in high school. I've only had a diluted sensation of those intense butterflies the past year. It seems as all of my collegiate relationships have been very serious and intense - very adult so it feels nice to have a school girl crush again. To have things be easy breezy and not complicated or laden with drama. I love the feeling of wondering when the next time I'll see him or he'll call as opposed to awaiting the next argument. Falling asleep on the phone and then arguing about who will be the first to hang up ...I know this post seems juvenile but that's because it is and is meant to be. I hope it joggs your memory and takes you back too.

Now Playing: C R U S H- Ciara

2007-04-29T06:08:00.000-05:00

It is 7am on a Sunday morning and I am just now arriving back to my dorm. I have not had a night like this since I was in high school and it seemed as if I had not one single care in the world. Needless to say it feels great to be able to have things revert back that to some degree. When I tell you we party hopped...we party hopped! This is all this post will say...it's definitely a sign of the times- school is OWT!

Now Playing: Naughty Girl - Beyonce

2007-04-25T01:36:00.000-05:00

My Thoughts of Late on Twiddling My Thumbs

No, I'm not literally twindling my thumbs but I am in my mind. I've accomplished all my goals while at Howard with a year to spare! What am I to do now? What more to conquer?

I have done it ALL

Excelled in my major (check)

Basically ran shit (check check and check -see resume)
Had my own Girl Scout Troop, yes that was a goal (check)
Did THE Fashion Show (Homecoming - the one that matters most, let's not pretend) (Check 2x -I'm doing it again in 07')

Pledged the most revered woman's organization not only on campus but in the world (DELTA...really sounds good to me:) (CHECK!)

So now...The question is - what to strive for now? I tried striving for a bomb internship in New York and came a day late and a dollar short. You know what...I think that's it. Turn my collegiate success into my life's success. I guess I've conquered everything at Howard- now the record has begun to skip. Only thing left to do on campus is to be the best student, friend, and Delta I can be and to strive for that which is HIGHER than whatever there is to do here at Howard. This time next year I'll be saying my good-bye's to good ole' HU without any regrets. Whatever I wanted- I went for it despite whether the odds were for or against me. I wouldn't change anything about my matriculation through The Hilltop. It's been a looooooooooooooong time coming (or so it seemed when I was on my way) and know I've finally reached the point where I can say "ahhhhh"- I have arrived! Now let's just make sure this fashion show is HAUTE and this is the best year ever for Alpha Chapter.

Now Playing: Teach Me- Musiq

Nikki Says it Best

2007-04-19T02:21:00.001-05:00

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/19/vtech.shooting/index.html

The Trouble with Being Crazy In Love

2007-04-19T02:13:00.001-05:00

When we love do we ever evaluate whether we're loving just a little too hard? The massacre at Virginia Tech all stemed from love gone awry. We all need to be much more careful when evaluating those we engage in relationships with, how we treat people, and how we prevent tragedies like this from occuring. While no one is to blame except for Cho Seung-Hui, the killer and ex-boyfriend. "[]Seung-Hui said Monday's massacre on the Virginia Tech campus could have been avoided and said 'you forced me into a corner...You had a hundred billion chances and ways to have avoided today,' Cho said in one of the videos that aired Wednesday night on NBC. 'But you decided to spill my blood. You forced me into a corner and gave me only one option. The decision was yours. Now you have blood on your hands that will never wash off.'"
At what point do we check our own sanity or the sanity of others? When love is strong enough to kill then it's no longer love.
After watching the video of Seung-Hui I really believe his soul was tormented by shame and embarassment and he felt like he had to do what he did. While I'm not making excuses for him - I always did feel sympathy for those constantly picked on and never accepted.We really have to be careful on how we treat people. You never know what might be going on inside. That person you toss off to the side just may be waiting on your careless action to go and kill themselves or better yet 33 other people and then themselves. What happened at Virginia Tech was tragic but how can we each do our part in helping to prevent people from feeling so low that they go and kill innocent people?

2007-04-14T00:20:00.000-05:00

Guess it Can't All Be R a i n b o w s and Heartbeats

So...I didn't get the internship with Teen Vogue. I suppose that would have been one too many perfect things going on in my life. I won't even lie..I was super hurt (or as hurt as a up and coming fashion journalist could be) ...I mean anyone who knows me knows that NO ONE...and I do mean ...NO ONE loves Teen Vogue as much as I do.
You know what I blame this on? The Hills! If people weren't glued to their television set every week feeding into the facade that MTV is selling then there wouldn't have been as many applicants and I would have gotten the position. Damn you LC! You didn't even go to France ...(yes, I'm still mad about that one!) There just aren't enough jobs to go around - well, jobs in Teen Vogue's fashion department anyway :( I think the fact that I actually got so close to getting it makes it even worse. Going to the closet, sitting in the office, seeing the other iterns do what I so longed to do (you know...fold, wrap, hang, steam etc). Oh God...the heartache. I'm seriously sad ya'll. I know it sounds petty but it just seemed like destiny since I had sent resumes and cover letters to soooo many other places and only the one place I truly wanted to work called me back - TEEN muthafukin' VOGUE! Yes, life does go on and I will continue to be a "Beast" (as Z. Morrow would call me) but for tonight I let a tear roll down my cheek for what could have been with my beloved Teen Vogue. People say that is it speaks volumes that I even got an interview but honestly that still hasn't landed me anywhere...I just pray they make room for me in 1.5 years!

In going out I'll leave with the wretched rejection email...

Hi Yasmine-Thanks for taking the initiative to apply to be an intern. It was great to meet you and your resume looked great as well but we had so many candidates apply and very few spots to fill. Unfortunately I can't offer you an internship at this time.
Good luck with your future endeavors,
JWD
TeenVOGUE

PS: anyone have any ideas on where I can get a bangin dress for Bison Ball- preferably in RED?

Now Playing: Peachtree Blues - Janelle Monae

2007-04-09T09:42:00.000-05:00

Dreams Do Come True...I'm Living Proof!

I know you all have been wondering where I've been the last two months. Well, I was becoming a DevaSTating Lady of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc! It felt like forever and it was hard as ever and I never want to pledge again but I'm happy I did and live to tell (well, actually I won't be telling anything so don't ask Delta business is Delta business and that ain't no joke) the story. It was a long hard road to Delta but I'm proud to be a Neophyte and apart of Sedulous 35 and in the same chapter, Alpha, as the 22 Illustrious Founders. Yay me!

While my life has been an example of the "work" of Delta it felt good to be OWT this weekend and finally feel the social aspect of Delta life. I'm not gonna lie...doing a party through the crowd felt great.

Among other new occurances I had an interview with Teen Vogue's fashion assistant, James DeMolet for an internship with the Fashion Department this summer. Can we spell..."dreamcometrue?" OMG...anyone who knows me knows how obsessed with Teen Vogue (even before The Hills)...If I get this internship life would be PERFECTO!

So, for you that asked...yes my dreams do come true because I work damn hard to make them a reality. 2007 really will be the Year of Yasmine Part Deaux :)

Now Playing: All I Do - Nivea

2007-02-12T22:36:00.001-06:00

The Blueprint for Evolution

This is the finest display of reinvention since Madonna.

Cee-lo Green has shown himself to be someone who has continued to remain relevant in the music industry. He performed "Crazy" at the Grammy's last night like it was the frickin' National Athem. Just amazing! He's changed his image and appeal, without negleting his core audience. He's now appealing to wider group of music lovers without selling out! It's a beautiful thing people it really is. "Ya'll are sleep and I'm trying to wake you the fuck up!" (a quote from The Smoking Aces- I know it didn't fit...I just really wanted to use it!)While he's always been very creative and a little eccentric, he has truly come into his own. From Soul Food and Goodie Mob to St. Elsewhere and Gnarls Barkley...Cee-lo Green is friggin amazing and has evolved into this uber cool icon without loosing his street cred (although, his daughter, Sierra, on my Super Sweet Sixteen almost got his card revoked!)

Now Playing: Closet Freak - Cee-lo

2007-02-06T14:16:00.000-06:00

I KNOW ALL WHITE PEOPLE AREN'T EVIL BUT...
sometimes it's REALLY easy to forget that. Last night I watched an HBO movie about the Japanese internment camps during World War II. Over 120,000 of Japanese-America was relocated to this "outdoor prisons." 62% of these people were citizens of the United States. They made people leave their homes, businesses, split up families to these "War Relocation Centers" all in the name of seeing who was loyal to a country that had NEVER been loyal to them. In the film there was an Asian family and of course there was one son who wanted to go along with the rules, stand by America, and let things float along with the system and there was another son who was more militant named Charlie. He made the most profound statement in the entire film, "We stopped being Americans the second the barbed wire went up." To some degree ALL minorities in America have experienced this. Whites use you to build the country, win olympic titles in its name, keep the rowdy coloreds at bay, pacify militant minds and supsicion...but at the end of the day AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP is negotiable. Every minority in this country has had there loyalty and/or citizenship up on the chopping block. People always say, NIGGAS AINT SHIT...WELP, CRACKERS AINT SHIT NEITHER because THEY have been doing fucked up shit since Christopher Columbus! Europeans didn't bring 'civilization' to America, they brought disease, death, and Thanksgiving.
Let's go down the list of fucked up shit they've done.
1. African "Americans" ...400 years of fucking SLAVERY! Plus another 100+ years of unabashed racism
2. Native "Americans" ...how do you spell, "STONE COLD ROBBERY?!" ...Trail of tears anyone...We all live and breath on their land and where do they live? RESERVATIONS IN OKLAHOMA and own casinos for WHITE people to have fun in
3. Japanese "Americans" ...INTERNMENT CAMPS? Constant stereotyping, jokes at their expense...
4. Hispanic "Americans" ...first of all...the title in itself is RACIST as fuck...Clearly, each "hispanic" person has his OWN nationality. IF they are from Cuba...They're CUBAN AMERICAN....Columbia? COLUMBIAN AMERICAN...Though they may share similarities...such as a basic language but the food, specific culture, dialect DIFFERENT...SHIT!
Who's next? Middle Easterners...and "Hispanics" have alot further to go in there pledging process to join the USA.
Oh yea, AND its their FAULT we have The Bloods and The Crips....they're the bastard of children of The Black Panther Party which WAS ONLY started to combat the terrorism of whites in BLACK America! I'm not one of those people who blame Whites for each and every misfortune of minority people but truth be told THEY HAVE ALOT to do with it. I truly want to know, what a white man thinks about when he wakes up in the morning. I know its definitely not the same thing I think about as a double minority. What makes them sooooo prone (i didn't want to use the word "inherently) to being so God Darn EVIL?

Now Reading: The Isis Papers by Dr. Frances Cress Welsing

A Fine Line Between Mockery and Hilarity (this and that)

2007-01-30T20:52:00.001-06:00

This is the infamous...MySpace/YouTube local celebrity Chris Crocker. I'm choosing to laugh. Though his inspiration isn't so funny and it's actually an abomination to "REAL" black women. (oh yea...did he say "nigga"?!)

Now watching: The White Rapper on VH1
PS: as you can see i have a new found obsession with youtube!

Finding My Focus

2007-01-29T01:36:00.001-06:00

For the second time in 2007 I went to church. While I no longer make resolutions in the new year, I do create goals for myself. One of my goals is to find a church home here in DC. At home I enjoy and am challenged by the message of Bishop Eddie Long at New Birth Cathedral. Yea, it's one of those black mega churches and that's a controversial subject in itself. HOWEVER, he's always met me where I am in my life and teaches on subject matters pertaining to things that not only apply to me now but guides me to where I want to be not only spiritually but in every aspect of my life. (and for anyone who wants to say he cheats the congregation out of their money...half of them make more than him...it's a BLESSED church)I've been going to church with my Aunt mostly for the past 3 years and I've really only been going because it's the right thing to do. But truthfully, I learned about Daniel and the Lion's Den long ago. It really just really wasn't feeding my spirit. Then I visited my cousin's church that she raves so much about...what's it called? From the Heart or something to that degree. It was okaaay but the minister talked to the simulcast the entire time which was distracting and then when they acknowledged the visitors they sang the cheesiest song I'd ever heard. From the Heart just wasn't in my heart so it was a no go...Then this evening I went to church right on Howard's campus. Something just wasn't right...too much shouting, hooping and hollering and not enough true to life Word. I'm not anti-old school style of church but I don't feel like a 4 hour church service is relevant to my life! Honestly I can't understand the message through all that hoopin' and hollerin'! That's so retro like those churches that are constantly having fish fry's and selling chicken dinners to raise money for a new air condition unit- I simply can't do it! Also, I got the most funny feeling while there...as if all the spirits present weren't quite Holy. The older I get the more of a discerning spirit I have grown. And I'm trusting my gut on this one...The search continues

Now Playing: Jesus On The Mainline (tell Him what you want!)

2007-01-21T22:12:00.000-06:00

My Thoughts of Late on Friendship, Inspiration, My Vow to Blog More Often, and Being a True to Life Good Girl :)
(Current State: stuck in the snow at my aunt's, deep in the burbs of D.C. (mitchelleville/bowie if you cared to know) - mind you she has 335i BMW Coupe that she swears does not work in the snow ...maybe if I had something to do in the morning I'd be upset but la vie es belle so I don't and I am sucking up all this bougie Prince George's county air and chalking up the fully stocked fridge, lush beds, and jacuzzi for what it's worth!Now on to what I'm actually supposed to be writing about...)

I'm horrible at making friends. That's a God-honest fact! In most cases I'm super reserved around new faces, I'm almost terrified of strangers, and I'm not always the most friendly nor the most open person. However, for some strange reason I have my fair share of really great friends. I don't mean the kind of friends that come and go as they please but I have some true blue...super trooper type crew...It's mind blowing to think about. With many friends comes many personalities- and with people come flaws- flaws that I'm beginning to notice and having to deal with. Sounds crazy I know...silly even but it always suprising me when I discover my friend's tragic flaws. I recently inducted new friends into my circle (most friends I've had for over 5 years), and for the past 6 mos. they're flaws have gone virtually unnoticed.

...Now, I can't say the same. Though, when you're attached at the hip with someone...always being associated with that same one...and also always have people talk about how close you are (whether they know or they think they know ...) it becomes alot to handle. It's a lethal overdose for even the best of friendships. Now I've found myself backing away from my friend and taking it in like a super hot cup of cocoa...being careful not to burn myself or her with the nerves that she can really pluck.
Are girlfriends becoming the new boyfriends? Should we keep our friendships on the low just so people don't pre-label what we are? Am I horrible for shying away from the term bestfriend, even though I love the person dearly and hang out ALOT with them? Am I THE ONE AFRAID OF COMMITMENT? Idunno...you tell me.

But here's one think I do know, I'm gonna keep juggling friends like clowns juggle bowling pins. I'm definitely a Girl Scout at heart I "make new friends but keep the old...one is silver and the other's gold" ...I'm just not up for promoting someone from silver to gold before they've faired their time.

In other news. I've been feeling so inspired lately...I'm thinking it has something to do with my Fashion Illustration II class. Professor Vernon really knows how to pull out my creative side and charges me to dig deep to find out what and who I'm all about. I love it and I can't wait to live the colors I see in my mind out in life. The people around me have been a true source of inspiration as well...everyone is hustling their prospective mojos and it's a beautiful thing. Soon you all will see...I've got something brewing in my pot (just ask Farren Hinton:)

About blogging. Some people blog waaaaaaaaay too fucking much in my opinion. How do you have time to live life if you're always on the damn internet? What do you truly have to write about? I'd rather write less with more substance than write everyday and have my ramblings loose it's appeal. I'd like to think of my posts as something similar to The Charlie Brown Christmas Special (someone please remind me who I was talking to when I said this silly shit and remind me why it was soooo hilarious) ...see, the reason it's so great to watch is because it doesn't come on that often. My blog is appealing is because there is an anticipation that comes along with waiting on a new post. I'm not saying I intentionally go great legnths of time without blogging...but what I am saying is I'm busy living life in 3D. And nothign can replace that. Though, I do like to please others so I do plan on writing a bit more in this new year. HAPPY NOW?

The other night I was talking to one of my most in'sync guy friends and he was reading me my sexology (I'm a virgo) and it was talking about how the virgo woman, me in this case, is a true good girl- no matter how hard she fights to dispell the myth. While I was a bit uncertain of the validity of the book's claims ...I'm certain now.

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 40%

Sloth: 40%

Pride: 20%

Gluttony: 0%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.

Only a 14% chance of going to hell? I'm an ANGEL!

Now Playing: Dreamgirls- The Dreams (Dreamgirls OST)

2007-01-11T01:17:00.000-06:00

I was a revolutionary. In middle and high school, I clung tight to my "blackness" ...owned it, sold it every opportunity I had. When we had to do biographies on an american hero, I did Malcolm X. We had a compare and contrast paper to do in English...I argued that the Klu Klux Klan couldn't be compared to the Black Panther Party because the KKK was a fraternal organization and the BPP was a political party. In the 7th grade we had to draw and color this guy named Strevenski upside down...mine was Black! (0nly one ever made:) When Bush ran against Gore...I argued on behalf of the Democratic party in Government. When it was time for debates I was Pro-Affirmative Action...Pro-choice in a Southern, Predominately White, Conservative, Christian School.

In the 8th grade I had to memorize a poem to recite to my class and this is what I chose. I began my love affair with who I like to call, Nikki G.. I love her. She's womanly, powerful, real, gritty, and eloquent all in the same line. To this day, each time I read this poem I 1. laugh at how adult it was for the circumstance 2 . feel proud of my revolutionary ways and 3. am happy to be me

WOMAN

she wanted to be a blade of grass amid the fields

but he wouldn't agree to be the dandelion
she wanted to be a robin singing through the leaves

but he refused to be her tree
she spun herself into a web

and looking for a place to rest turned to him

but he stood straight declining to be her corner
she tried to be a book

but he wouldn't read
she turned herself into a bulb

but he wouldn't let her grow
she decided to become a woman

and though he still refused to be a man

she decided it was all right
-Nikki Giovanni

Now Reading : Cotton Candy On A Rainy Day, Nikki Giovanni

Since It's Sunday...

2007-01-07T18:31:00.001-06:00

I figured I'd do a religious post.I guess a bit silly too, just to start your week off right. Have you ever been in church and been worshiping next to a horrid singer? Were you tempted to laugh or embarassed that their frail notes distracted you soooo much? What's even worse is when the children's choir singer isn't so cute...you should really feel ashamed for laughing at the kids! The worst of all is laughing at the regular choir...I mean, they get your service started off right...go from high to low...praise to worship. So when they pick Keke, who's only allowed to be in choir because she has "such heart", to sing lead the only result can be trecherous...

2007-01-04T12:42:00.000-06:00

Kicking and Screaming...

that's what I feel like doing right now. Though it never worked as I hoped it would when I was a child maybe throwing an adult temper tantrum will make the break a little longer. (though technically it's already ended) I'm simply not ready to go back. While my break was restful and I have been replenished (although after I saw my math grade I'm not so sure I should have been so tired)- I'm not sure if I'm ready for the rigors of a new semester. 2006 was soooo good to me, it has been hard for me to let go of the fact that is indeed, OVER...and inorder for this year to be just as good I'm going to have to work for it...ALL OVER AGAIN. It is truly tiring to think about! But ...ce la vie. On a more positive note, there are a few good things about a new semester...1. a fresh new start 2. new books and school supplies (don't act like I am the only one...with each new book, notepad, and pen you pray it will more understandable, contain better grades, and won't get lost). 3. transfer students...I love seeing new faces and seeing what fresh minds can bring to the table. 4. accomplishments...each semester someone you know accomplishes something- whether they pledge something, are appointed some position, win some election - it's always an exciting time- especially in the SPRING! While I hate that I have to leave my beloved home of Atlanta and all of my great friends...it has to be this way and I am excited to see all of my friends at school and to collect and exchange some tardy Christmas gifts!
PS: I will be doing the Heizman on all the haters this semester so don't even try it!

Now Playing : Heizman On Dat Hoe- Da' Heizman Boyz

2006-12-11T23:37:00.000-06:00

The Year of Yasmine (Part Deux!)

I took inspiration for this post from my dear friend, Charreah "Queen To Be" Jackson, well...who am I kidding...i completely hi-jacked her thoughts and recreated them for my own. But that's neither here nor there. It just hit me that we are in our last days of 2006.
As I reflect on this year I have come to realize a few things...
2006 was definitely "The Year of Yasmine"

1. I started off the year right by cutting off the right person, the relationship (not the person) was so toxic...when I cut it off life was immediately 10x better and while he's made a few attempts to regain the friendship ...no can do...life is TOO GOOD!
2. I made some super special unforgettable friends, one in particular:)
3. I met of my most outstanding goals while at Howard, late at night freshman year I'd talk to my roomate (who now is the 2007 CHAIRWOMAN of Howard Homecoming) about how I wanted to do the fashion show when I got older...
4. I made IT happen in my personal and business life all in stride!
5. None of my friends or family members died

While this was seemingly "The Best Year Ever" I hope to make 2007 "The Best Year Ever, Part Deaux!"

1. Accomplishing one of my lifelong dreams, it's been a long hard road but I'm praying my labor will all pay off
2. Making it Haute at Homecoming ....Again (fingers crossed)
3. Doing it big summer 07' (power moves people...I'm talking power moves!)
4. Finding a great spot in the urea, it's about time I move off this campus and find a little nook of my own
5. Continuing to explore the inner workings of BAS, drives me insane sometimes but I couldn't see life without the kid
6. Love. Happiness.Success.Leisure.plus all that other good shit!

Now Playing: Take It Slow- Shawnna feat. my boyfriend, Bobby Valentino

2006-12-10T16:01:00.000-06:00

My Thoughts of Late on Becoming a "Sta-ra!"
Google me, no really....Google me! "Yasmine Parrish" just type it into any "Google" toolbar and see what comes up!
Among other things, here's what I see when I search me....
"Related: What Football Game? - washingtonpost.comRelated Subjects: Atlanta · Sean Combs · Ludacris · Yasmine Parrish · Stasia Barrett · Toni Morrison · Justin Timberlake · Thurgood Marshall · Ice Cube ..."
It seems as if the things are really looking up for this mini fashionista from the ATL! Until just now I realized that I AM one of those people with an enviable resumes. While I am certainly proud of my work with the Homecoming Fashion Show, I don't believe that I have come to terms with how continuously profitable, monetary and otherwise, my labor can be if I milk it the right way. Who knew it was such a huge deal?
It is funny my good friend, M.D. Batts, always says that "people know who you are, you have one of those names ....you say 'Yasmine' and everyone knows the short thick girl who runs everything on campus that has anything to do with fashion."
People say I had some kissing my ass but truthfully when I look back I don't see it. I just remember the hard work I put in and all those people who helped me get the job done. I guess God put blinders on my head. I really don't feel like I've done anything should make me arrogant or uppity in anyway because at then end of the day I'm just a college student who dreams of splendor and glam post grad.
However, one thing I am proud of is my work ethic and hustle mode both of which I know I get from my momma!
Anyways, hopefully this new found pseudo stardom will put me one step closer to getting Bobby Valentino to be my boyfriend...No, seriously: he's cute, funny, classic Atlanta, and is on the come up!(a whole nother blogworthy topic in itself)
Until then...hustlin' real hard
-"Yasmine."

Now Playing: Hollywood- Sa-Ra

2006-11-05T22:05:00.000-06:00

Trannies are Meanies!

So, as you might know (per my last post of desperation) I'm doing a huge research project on gender roles and sexual orientation. Basically I want to prove that how people view gender and the roles of gender, if there are any, is a direct correlation on how people view various sexual orientations. For instance if a person thinks men bring home the bacon (hopefully turkey cuz that swine will kill ya') and women stay home and cook then they have a strict view on gender roles and will be less apt to support non-conservative lifestyles (ie homo/bi/transexuality). I want to compare the urban American society (which is mostly black folks) to other cultures. See, what you may not know is in other societies people aren't labeled like they are here.
In India they have a complete third gender of people who are neither "man" nor "woman" they're "hijras" /"eunuchs". They have a special place in society, thought to have special powers...they choose this lifestyle. Some were born women, most were born men and are castrated. Now while they're on the lower end of the cast system they have rights.
In the Native American culture effiminate little boys are looked at as special. They're taken away and trained, almost like being taken into the priesthood. When the boy comes of age, he is called a Berdache (bur-dash) and acts as a mediator between women in men. No one labels him "gay", in fact he lives life with a wife, produces children and is a prized member of his community. He's believed to have special powers.

Basically, the world isn't as closed minded as America is, black folks in particular.

So, how'd I come across the trannies you ask? Well...I conducted a little survey using surveymonkey.com. Here are a few of the questions I asked:

1.What is a female?
A.A person with the biological features of a female(vagina, breasts, estrogen, etc)
B.A person who wears dresses and skirts
C.Anyone who wants to be a woman

3.If you had a little boy and he played with dolls, make-up, and liked to play dress up what would you think?
A.He's expressing himself
B.Something's not right about this situation
C.He must be gay
D.I've got to give him some boy toys to play with

7. What is your sex?
A.Female
B.Male
C.Other

10. What is your sexual orientation
A.Heterosexual ( I like members of the opposite sex)
B.Homosexual (I like members of the same sex)
C.Bisexual ( I like members of both sexes)
D.Asexual (I'm not attracted to members of either sex)
E.I'm not sure

So, you get what I was getting at...right?

Now that I came up with this bomb yet simple and fun survey I had 24 hours to get 100 people of all different sexual orientations, genders, everything...It was not easy folks. I used everything ...facebook...MySpace...I browsed random people on MySpace asked them to take my survey (don't think that was too successful) ...hounded my friends on AIM. At 4pm I was at wit's end. I had 80 people and needed 20 more. Where was I going to get these people from? I sent facebook messages to about 800 people all together and my friends were getting annoyed plus i put two bullentins on MySpace not to mention my unsuccessful attempts to talk to weird looking men in Ohio named Charles. I didn't know where else to go.
Then I thought "Chat Rooms!" ...wow, haven't been in one of those since 9th grade. (16/f/atl...remember that?) First place I thought to go...AOL. America OnLine...they're diverse, intelligent, and have a special place for gays and lesbians, which who I began targeting since I had enough "breeders". The funny thing is...when I went to their special section I saw everything but chat rooms.
What was I to do then...I know...Plan B..well, more like "BP". BLACKPLANET. I hadn't used my account in a while, I barely could remember my username "hotgurl_yaz" I knew if no one else in the world used those cest pools of freaks known as chat rooms BlackPlanet still did and oh boy was I right. I went to every chat room, the 50 something (these folks could care less that I was a college kid trying to promote social change they were focused on their next lay)...college...the 30 somethings (who were suprisingly immature)...gay (who were definitely my favorite, though they weren't as responsive to taking my survey...we talked about everything from men on the DL to social stereotypes)...lesbian (who, not surprising really "took" to me and participated in my survey though many were upset I didn't have mutual feelings)...also took a visit to "Sexy Bi Femz4Femz" to get the bisexual point of view...and last but not least I went into the lion's den..the belly of the fire..."transexual4men". Those bitches are MEAN, well except for "Irreplaceable" she was sweet and didn't give me a hard time. Never call a transexual ...transgendered. I made that mistake and boy did I pay for it. "look girl, i'm a bytch with a dikk!" ..."a girl with a penis"...."i've got a shooter baybee!" is what was barked through the server. They had such opinions about how "no one fukked" with them...(all the curse words had to have an alternate spelling so BP couldn't censor them). These lady boys didn't care about any little college girl who was trying to lower hate crimes and discrimination...didn't care about promoting social change ...like the geazers they just wanted their next hit! I really wanted some transexuals to do my survey because I knew that it would add credance to my research ...I didn't put "other" as an option on #7. for no reason. I didn't just want females and males, I wanted people who really consider themselves an alternative sex. Needless to say, I got my wish. Two transexuals participated in my survey ...68 females...28 males...2 other ("transexual"/"ts" is what was written in the blank)...and 3 people who just didn't answer at all.
I guess this goes without mention but in the span of 24 hours I've seen and talked with A LOT of people and found out soooo many things about the way people view themselves, others, and more than anything else gender and sexuality. I found out through the survey that one of my friends is gay, but doesn't believe in gay marriage, and thinks that while you don't have to ever completely come out you shouldn't have sex with men and women.
I really need some sleep!

Now Playing: My Humps - TCB

2006-11-04T18:01:00.001-06:00

I'm conducting a study on gender roles and its relation to sexual orientation. I need feedback from all you good people in cyber world so help a sister out!

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=840992833158

2006-11-03T17:26:00.000-06:00

My Thoughts of Late on the "It's Complicated" Status

Surely, there are better things that I could be doing with my time than taking this 15 minute break but fuck the practical, my mind needs a release. Lately, among other things, I've really been dwelling over the relationship status "It's Complicated" on Facebook and whether or not we should really be putting that out there for the public eye. While I understand most of us live in gray areas in our various relationships but should we really give the gray area a term or hold our ground and fight for the black and white? Or...is "it's complicated" a fair place to be just like single, in a relationship, engaged, or married (giving no credance to "in an open relationship"...now that's just bull). Has "it's complicated" become the symbolic "third gender" (ie the eunuchs of India) of relationship statuses? Has it become an alright place to be?
Now, I don't say this because I'm anti-"it's complicated" relationships because I'm far from being a stranger of them but as a person who has never really posted a relationship status at all whether I am in one or not or in between I figured I'd leave people to ponder for themselves and not give them anything to talk about. I hate seeing people go from "single" one day, "married" the next, all the way back to "it's complicated"...I mean the world shouldn't be exposed to the ups and downs of your encounters. Why put your business out there unnecessarily, especially if it's an unstable relationship.

Now, as I stated before I'm no stranger to "complicated" situations...(ie I know this guy whose loved by this girl but won't be with her and doesn't want anyone else to be with her and befriends guys that try and turn them away from her) but I dont just don't think the rest of the world has to know.

Just my thoughts...

Now Playing: Bad Habit- Destiny's Child

2006-10-31T18:56:00.000-06:00

Dear Pumpkin,
Happy Birthday! You'd be 22 today! Can you imagine? I remember your 16th birthday like it was yesterday...the Mary J. Blige concert....you wore that turqoise snakeskin top from Express and i wore that tan and cream zebra print 2-piece whatever it was! LOL...thank God the fashions have evolved...didn't we think we were soooo hot?!
So I guess you saw the tattoo...hope you like it. I can't tell you how much I miss you. But I know you really never left and you speak to me in my dreams. Life is hard. Sometimes I wish I could be there with you but I know it's not my time and honestly, I'm living enough for the both of us. I wonder what you'd be like...I mean at 22. Would you really have come to Howard like we talked about? What would your major have been? I mean, forget college...I wonder how prom would have been? We had been talking about it forever...was Labat ever really going to ask you? It's been five years now and somethings never change.
To this day no one has ever been able to measure to the bond that we share. It's funny how we would stay on the phone for hours because for the most part now I hate the phone. And to this day no one else's tongue gets those extra sensitive bumps on them after eating too many Sour Patch Kids...I can't eat them without thinking of you. The tree they planted for you is growing leaps and bounds. I can't tell you how much I miss you. As you know, God sent me really awesome friends after you left. It was gonna take that or else I don't think I could have survived, even after 5 years too many thoughts of you can bring me to tears. It's crazy that I got this tattoo so that when people saw it they'd ask "Who's Gabby?" and I'd be able to tell them what an amazing person you were but I sometimes when they actually ask it pains me to tell them. They ask how you died and how old you were and I get mad at God for taking you all over again.
Well, I won't keep you...I have some more to do today but I did want to take a second and stop to tell you how much you are loved and how you are never ever ever ever forgotten.
Love Always,
Yasmine

October 31, 1984-April 9, 2001

2006-10-24T22:15:00.001-05:00

Then and Now...HILARITY IN A CLICK!

2006-10-23T00:36:00.000-05:00

Striving
just when you think things are returning to normalcy (is that a word?) things seemingly become even more crazy. I thought life was going to return to the everyday once Homecoming was over ...I couldn't be more wrong! My life is such a pyscho-melodramatic soap opera these days filled with random happenings and things you only see in Spike Lee movies. And for once I think I may have more on my plate than I can truly handle...I know that's very dangerous to admit on the internet but between being the Vice-President of University Fashion Council and HU Association of Black Journalist plus mentoring with LADIES, Girl Scouts and working at the boutique ON TOP OF being a student and pursuing other ventures it's beginning to be alot and now that the fashion show is over there is no excuse. So, I think the answer is to quit the job...as much as I LOVE my hair discount I just can't be the employee I pride myself on being with all these other things on my plate. I just don't want to do an injustice to any of my organizations by not being the leader I wanted to be. It's sooo crazy how I have these positions because I truly never ran for any of them they were given to me. And because of that I know God has entrusted me with these responsibilities that I need to do better at fulfilling.
I have to admit that I'm quite a perfectionist but not in the traditional sense of the word. It's more like I try to be perfect and become quite hurt when it comes out that I'm not. It's weird I know. Clearly, I understand that I am not perfect and that perfection is unattainable but when I come face to face with that fact it truly hurts me to the point of tears. Frankly, I don't get it...how can I know that something is unattainable yet hold myself to the standard and be hurt when I don't meet the mark?
I guess I'm just trying to reach my "peak"...

Now Playing: Welcome to the Black Parade- My Chemical Romance

2006-10-17T21:37:00.000-05:00

My Final Words

"The Other Side...

10/17/06
Perspectives

It has overwhelmingly warmed my heart to feel all of the love and support people have shown me and how not only has the Howard Family but the greater global community has appreciated my vision for the 2006 Howard University Homecoming Fashion Show.When I first received the job as Homecoming Fashion Show Coordinator, even I was a little nervous about my abilities.My mentor and predecessor, Danielle Perkins, was such a big name within the fashion world of Howard, it was a bit daunting to come behind her. I knew I had huge shoes to fill and great expectations to meet.I’m not quite sure if I was truly ready for the pseudo-celebrity that this position would cause. I’ve never had much of a showstopper personality, so to all of a sudden be the center of attention was interesting/cool/slightly scary. It’s weird for people to know who you are when you may or may not know that they exist, especially when you were once them.This position was like hitting the lottery. A true Cinderella story for me. My sophomore year was the worst ever. In just three semesters I was turned down from three organizations! I couldn’t win for losing. It never seemed like the ball was in my court. Needless to say, when it was time to turn in my proposal, I had my doubts. I knew my idea was good, because I went through so many horrible ones. Thank goodness Danie Rae shot down my first idea, “Genesis: The Beginning of Fashion!” I should probably thank William Shakespeare for creating the original play, Hugh Hefner for having his annual “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” party, and Victoria’s Secret for inspiring me to have huge pieces of candy somewhere in my show. It turns out that when something is meant to be, it all works itself out. Once I reviewed the play, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” and remembered it was about the hottest party of the season I thought about how I could interpret that in scenes. I heard the song, “Pimping All Over the World” and figured I could do something of the sort to my theme by “twisting” it to different genres. That’s when I came up with each of my scenes.Although before Harajuku there was Africa, I figured Africa was a bit overdone and decided to take out the motherland and travel to the Land of the Rising Sun.After that, everything went like clockwork. There were a few glitches along the way: a crazy overbearing stylist whose name has yet to pop up when I google him, some wayward designers and sponsors that fell through. I truly learned the power of my voice during this time and the art of simply saying “no.” Compromise, teamwork, and respect are all things that have helped me along the way. I understand that grace and poise also works in your favor and that bad/diva attitudes get you nowhere but sent out the door. Through the stress, the victories, and even a few tears, I’d like to believe my show was pretty great and I’m happy that everyone was able to see the fruits of my labor.
-Yasmine Parrish, 2006 Homecoming Fashion Show Coordinator"

http://www.thehilltoponline.com/media/storage/paper590/news/2006/10/17/Perspectives/The-Other.Side-2371730.shtml?norewrite200610172231&sourcedomain=www.thehilltoponline.com

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/13/AR2006101301626.html

http://www.thehilltoponline.com/media/storage/paper590/news/2006/10/13/Campus/Fashion.Show.Combines.chic.With.Shakespeare-2349474.shtml?norewrite200610172235&sourcedomain=www.thehilltoponline.com

2006-10-08T12:39:00.000-05:00

C'mon Homie We Major

My second show sold out in a single day. Though I still have some reservations on receiving congratualatory remarks, since I dont think it has too much to do with me personally, it is pretty cool that people are that excited to see what's coming. I can't wait quench the thirst of everyone who waited in long deadly lines, bought outrageously priced tickets, and did everything in their power to be at my show. It definitely won't be a dollar spent that's not worth it. I truly feel like God has directed my path every single step of the way and allowed me to see the mistakaes I've made and helped me to correct them inorder to make even better decisions.

One HUGE thing I've learned is though while you may be friends with someone that does not mean that you all work well together. I had my friend helping me with one aspect of the show and just about every conversation ended with a death battle argument. Sad but true, it took me way too long to realize that our working relationship was simply not going to work. He was causing more stress than what his work was worth. This experience has taught me so much about myself. My stregnths ....my weaknesses, what works...what doesn't, WHO works and who DOESN'T ...everything. I'm a lot more tough too. This was no easy task but it's my goal to make it look easy...I can't wait for everyone to see the fruits of my labor!

Now Playing: Lost without you- Robin Thicke

2006-09-24T13:26:00.000-05:00

It is the most peculiar sensation, sitting right across from someone and feeling like you are on opposites sides of the universe. Being so close and feeling so far away. You can only experience this with someone with whom you were once emotionally close to and later for whatever reason there is some distance. How can you see someone every single day and feel like you grow further and further more apart as each day passes? I tell you it is a very strange thing.
While I wholeheartedly understand that eventually the newness of any relationship wears off, it is interesting that a friendship can go from growing leaps and bounds to being so stagnant and having the growth of that same very friendship seemingly hault all toghether.
Nothing even has to be said. Female intuition can tell everything, a woman...a real woman who's real with herself..., knows when something has changed.
I truly believe our friendship has been lost in the crowd. What began as 2 has grown into 12, and I'm think it's beginning to take a toll. Never did I ever think they'd know more about us than we do...Isn't it funny how things change?
The person I thought I knew so well, I really know little about. I'm not sure if that was really you in the beginning and you've know changed into something I don't like or if this is really you and nothing you were saying and doing was really true. We're all constantly growing and evolving, I just hope you're evolving into someone I don't like. I had high hopes.

Or maybe I'm just tripping and it's really THE growing pains everyone keeps talking about.

Now Playing: Moving Cool (The Afterparty)- Outkast feat. Joi

2006-09-13T19:56:00.000-05:00

Since I Have Some Time To Spare
Okay, it's official...ya' girl has hit it big time!
People left and right have been telling me they heard MY NAME on the radio (thanks Dom!). Tickets have just gone on sale for my first show and I'm too excited now. My vision is really coming to life. My mother just bought 20 tickets (well, she really only bought 10...I gave her the other half) to my first show JUST so that all of my family and friends could be there from DC and Atlanta. I've got my models...the designers are all falling in line...and I just feel like something good is just around the corner. If you've been around me for the past 5 months or so, you know that I have not been overly excited about the fashion show...not that I wasn't happy that I was blessed with the opportunity but I was knee deep in mud and deadlines...don't get me wrong...I still am knee deep in mud and deadlines except for now I can see the other side of the river, the light at the end of the tunnel, the show in a mere 29 days.
To see people lined up just to buy tickets to MY production almost had me in tears, I feel so humbled and for the most part have forgotten that3,000 people will be there to witness MY brainchild. The concepts and ideas that I wrote and thought out and rewrote again. It's a crazy thing.

Twisted: A Midsummer Night's Dream

2006 Howard University Homecoming Fashion Show

Fashion Show I & II

October 12, 2006

7:00, 10:00pm

DON'T MISS IT!

2006-09-04T22:36:00.000-05:00

Back By Popular Demand....

I told myself I'd make it to bed by midnight. It's now 11:31pm....I have 29...welp, take that back 28 minutes to make this entry happen. I start my first REAL day of school tomorrow. I know...I know the first official day of school was August 28th but I had my 20th birthday party the night before and missed most of my classes on the first day which set the tone for the rest of my week and also made me realize how bad I needed to drop my 8am Slimnastics II class. Between my late night dinners in the newly built luxury student apartments University Town Center and model calls and cuts it seems as if going to class has been an afterthought. I think it was my own personal protest, my way of sticking it to "the man" for cutting my summer short. But I've put my pickett signs away and got my pens and notepads ready...4.0GPA is my goal!
So, it turns out I've become somewhat of a local celebrity around these hollowed halls of Howard U. Which is actually really weird/interesting/ironic and I guess slightly cool seeing as how I'm the biggest loser I know. I've tried out for just about every notable organization on campus (I won't name any names...don't even try it NOSEY!) and been a big REJECT for most of them. One I went out for more than once and was denied both times! If it weren't for The Hilltop and The Homecoming Steering Committee, I think I would have probably felt like a failure. They were the ONLY two organizations on campus who gave me a chance. I'd like to believe that I was a success at good ole' H Psi Phi (my Hilltop Heads know what that is) being that I was Staff Writer of The Year (eternally waiting on my plaque) and so far I think I've done a good job with HUHSC though the verdict's still out since the fashion show hasn't happened yet.
17 minutes to go...
We had the model call last week, it went pretty well I believe...the selections were soooooooooo extremely painstaking. I said "no" to a lot of people who I really love not only as people but as models. I've been getting countless facebook messages from friends and acquintances asking why they weren't selected, what they could have done better, and who got picked because they know "so many good people who didn't make it". Honestly, it's like that each and every year, I guess I should have known there would be some who would question my judgement but you never know how it feels until it happens to you. But just so inquiring minds know...Twisted: A Midsummer's Night Dream is going to be HOT like no other and my models are going to be AWESOME.
Another thing I've learned from working on such a gigantic production is people do not really care about you as a person. Everyone just wants to get a piece for themselves. If I'm short with someone or am obviously stressed they automatically get offended and choose to tell me about myself as opposed to taking into consideration all that I am going through not to mention that I get told about myself each and every Saturday morning at 10am sharp! So if you're reading this and I've seemingly gotten an "attitude" with you please know it's not really at you...I'm just busy, stressed, and anticipating October 12.
8 minutes to go....
My personal life has completely been shattered by everything that's going on. Things I thought were there aren't, friends I thought would step up to the plate haven't, commitments that haven't been committed, and while I'm always on the scene a bit of me always feels alone. It's weird because there is nothing anyone can do to change that. Even when I know someone is making an effort to include me, which most times they do, I still feel alone. Have you ever thought about that? Do you feel like a solo soul that is ocassional joined by another or do you feel as though you're always with others? I definitely feel like I'm alone even amongst hundreds of people. I don't really know why or if it's necessarily a bad thing. I just understand we all have our own lives, own agendas, and own goals.
4 minutes...
Okay, so I hope my loyal readers feel their thirst has been quenched. Sorry I haven't written in a while but life has been happening so fast I have hardly had a second to breath. No worries though, I'll be back if no sooner then I will later...if not later I will...eventually.

Now Playing: "What Is This" Scar feat. Cee-lo

2006-08-10T01:15:00.000-05:00

No Rhyme Nor Reason, Just Felt Like Writing
I should be packing/finishing up work/sleeping before my long awaited trip home but I can't get myself to commit to one task.
My soul is tired.
I said this earlier to a friend and he was a bit unnerved because it sounded as if I was saying I was ready to die. I can see why he said that but it's not like I'm singing "I Feel Like Going Home" quite yet. Although I do. To Atlanta though, not my heavenly home. It's something about life in the city that has worn me out. The week I had to take the bus... straight misery. Some of my deadbeat customers who come in 3 minutes before I'm scheduled to pull the plug...pure hell. The countless men on the street corners all vying for my attention...utter disgust. Sitting 8-9 hours straight in a less than booming boutique as people who do not have money to buy unfold my perfectly primped tees and recklessly shift through my fingerspaced racks without a second thought or any regard.
I am truly tired.
Some of my friends poke fun at me for having all types of oils, candles withs waz that turn into massaging lotion, and numerous amounts of incense. I admit I have a lot of items that might make the naked eye go "hmmm...she's a freak" but truly I use it all on me. When I feel I'm at my wits end I really do light the candle and simply risk the fire alarm going off. Let the aroma feel my atmosphere and just chill out. I make sure my tub stays clean so I can take a bath anytime I want. I always take that extra five minutes for myself just so I can feel just a little bit better about going out on the mean streets of the District of Crime.
It's something I get from a bath that I can't get from a shower. Sure, I have to take extra time to run the water, let it cool, and then sit and bathe but I don't see time wasted. I see time savoured. There is something about bathing that is so royal to me. It's what Kings and Queens did, just think back to Coming to America. So while I'm still a Lady in Waiting, I prep myself like a Queen, not for mere vanity, just to keep my sanity.
It's like how I pin curl my hair at night instead of wrapping it. Sure a wrap may be easier and /or quicker, pin curls are simply more attractive. They make me feel more glamourous and assured that if I were to ever have a visitor in the night I would not look like Who Shot John yet a sleeping beauty. I'm sure no one else notices or cares that I always take that extra five or ten minutes to myself but my soul can feel it. And it is because of that extra bit of time I take for myself that I am still breathing.
Life is too short to rush through it.

Now Playing: Your Love, Van Hunt

2006-08-02T22:18:00.000-05:00

I'M WITH TIA...

Okay, let's talk about the atroscity that we all witnessed this evening at 10:28 pm. Is anyone else in complete and utter shock and horror that LC didn't decide to go to Paris just to sit around the house with Jason's sometimey ass? Oh my God, what is wrong with that girl?You have the editor of THE MOST reputable teen fashion magazine telling you she wants you to go to the fashion capitol of the WORLD...and you say, "but what about my summer with Jason..." I'm all for love but DAYUM!
TRUE LOVE WAITS ...(3 months while you're creating your career in Paris!)
I just don't get these girls, LC...Andie from The Devil Wears Prada...what don't they understand? A Million Girls WOULD DIE for the jobs that that they grunt their teeth at!
Maybe LC didn't appreciate her internship because she didn't work for it...I mean really... she showed up on Laguna Beach, caught a little celebrity which made her a prime candidate for being an intern. She was constantly fucking up...skipping out on important events, protesting assignments, and worst of all...BEING LATE! Everyone who plans on being ANYONE knows....to be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, and to be late to be ERASED! This whole season of The Hills was like a horrible love hate relationship. I loved seeing her in the fashion closet, being around the industry, but I hated most of the people because of their lack of drive and because they were soooo far from reality. Why didn't anyone tell Heidi quitting school to stuff papers was dumb? Or, what the heck was Jason doing with his life? Most of all....WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL LC TO GO TO PARIS?! Dumb bitch! Seriously...ugh. She's worse than Andie.

I'll end with a few words from my favorite beauty diva, Tia Williams:
"Ladies, anything worth having is worth working your ass off for."

That's all...

Now Playing: I'll Trade a Million Bucks- Keith Sweat and Lil' Moe

2006-07-26T20:03:00.000-05:00

So, Lance Bass is gay...Can I be the first to say, "Who Knew?"
Speaking of homosexuality. Is there a safety net between a heterosexual male and gay men? Should every straight man have just enough homophobia to keep him from being accused of being gay? Why can't a straight man be good looking, well dressed, comfortable with not only his own sexuality but the sexuality of others and not be a target for rumors?
And is it me or can some gay men be super catty? I have gay friends, effeminate and some that are not but it always baffles me when men do not act like men. I know HBO, TLC, and Discovery Health tell us that some men have more female chromosomes than normal but seriously no matter what your sexual orientation you should always know that at the end of the day you are indeed, a man.

Now Playing: Is it a Crime, Sade

2006-07-24T00:16:00.000-05:00

My Unamicable Divorce
I just got out of an abusive relationship.
Now before you get your panties in a knot and call up the gossip columns let me explain.
I was in an abusive business relationship. I'm the coordinator of this event (some of you may know...and that's fine but for those who don't it really doesn't matter too much) and I was doing business with this man. He was supposed to bring alot to the table, quality, high end, professionalism...a touch of class but really what he ended up bringing before any contracts were signed was drama, threats, and lots of stress on my part. It was crazy- at night I would think about how I was going to fulfill his requests...how I was going to make the situation right. Then one day he seriously threatened me and I was like "hold up...I DO NOT have to take this SH!T, I have people lining up at my door trying to work with me...why am I pressed for this man...I seriously can't even Google his name. There has GOT to be a better way!" And there was a better way...the contract I was working for his services (complimentary drama and stress included) I'm getting with someone whose name I can actually Google. I feel so relieved and free from the situation, like a burden has been lifted. When I look back it really was like an abusive relationship. People warned me, but the shine of everything he promised was so enticing I decided to play with the fire. So when I got burned I felt obligated to continue. When he pulled a pyscho move, he made up for it with very sensible remarks. I was truly caught up in a web. But now I know better, I'm the big boss and I call the shots. I hired (and fired) him!
This man claims he can provide all these things and that he's so this and that but truthfully if he were who he said he were he wouldn't have been so pressed about doing my "little college show".

The Set Up: (The Turn Around is Classic and Flawlessy Executed)
On 7/17/06, selectnewyork wrote:
I need to know an update and now because my Make up, Hair Team and Stylist is awaiting a response because I place everything on whole until I received a deposit and contract and I guess this is not going to happen any time soon and I don't have any more time to deal with this HU ******. So this is it, deposit and contract within one week from today or you can remove my name and teams from assisting with this event and I will speak with corporate and let them know of my decision and why they should not work on this project and any other projects in the future.

Remember I spoke to you about why I stop doing show because of too many delays and drama... And for what $**** and stress not equal.

Good Luck!
From: yasmine
To: selectnewyork
Sent: Wed, 19 Jul 2006 10:34 PM
Subject: Re:
Okay. That is fine Mr. Moore. We will no longer be needing your services. The drama that you speak of comes from within, I think it's best we part ways now because your attitude is simply baffling, though I cannot say I was not forewarned by my predeccesors. Thank you for your time but I cannot work with constant threats and unreasonable time constraints. You are not the only person with whom I can work with, I now have the same services with much better working relations.
So thanks for your interest but from all of the horror stories and your threats, I see now I will not want to deal with this all the way until October.I thought working with alum and professional minorities would be worth it but I see now its not.

Now a professional probably wouldn't respond to this. I was blunt and to the point. I was fed up and really gave it to him. He claims to be doing all these shows in DR, Paris, Milan, etc he was worried about little ole' me and had to have the last word.

On 7/20/06, selectnewyork wrote:
First of all, I wasn't threatening you about doing *****the rest of the email was blah blah blah ...yada yada yada

Anyway in closing this email does not require nor needs a response.
Gregory Moore
Select New York

I will also forward this email over to the HU Homecoming Director and President of HU. Along with all of our email and the promises you made but didn't keep and using HU name and not respecting the Conduct Code as a student.

Maybe he's the novice here. Does he not understand the art of negotiating? Did not understand that he made a HUGE mistake of showing his ass a few times too many before there were any legalities involved? Needless to say I told the man, "That's fine. Do what you feel deem necessary but we won't be needing your services. Thanks"

Clearly he didn't appreciate that and decided to waste more space in my gmail with a appallingly unprofessional response. How pressed is he? I'm just glad it's over. I learned alot with this experience.
1. Know who has the power
2. Take heed to the advice of others
3. Pay attention to the red flags early on
4. Don't be afraid to cut all ties
5. Never argue with a fool

Now Playing: Crazeology Miles Davis

2006-07-06T20:42:00.000-05:00

My Thoughts of Late on The State of Desperation Common to All Women, Economy Flying, Beautiful Roomates, and Profiling in Retail

Anyone who was around me the week prior to the Fourth of July knows how much I was raving about taking a spare of the moment trip to Chicago. Well, I took that trip and had fun (though I don't see what all the hype is about when it comes to The Taste or why in the world Chicago is sooooo spread out and gigantic!) While in the Go I heard the same 3 songs in rotation on the radio..."Red Alert" by Ciara, "Unfaithful" by Rihanna, and "Doing Too Much" by a new chick named Paula Deanda. The last track stuck with me the most. Here are a few of the lyrics, in case you're not familiar..."im leaving messages and voicemails telling you i miss you baby am i doin too much why you tryin to dis me when i just wanna kiss you baby am i doin too much tell me whats the issue who i give theses lips to baby am i doin too much this is turnin into somethin i aint hip to baby am i doin too much see you got me all alone waitin right here by the phone for you to call me."
After a few listens, I decided this chick was completely desperate and that the song sounded almost as lonely and despondent as the Charlie Wilson song, "Hey girl, How you doin'My name is Charlie, last name Wilson I was wonderin' if I could take you outShow you a good time, invite you to my houseHere is my number, girl you can call meAnd don't forget it baby, the name is Charlie.."
Don't they both kinda' sound sorry to you?
Anyway...after the first 1trillion times of hearing the Paula Deanda tune I realized why it was so damn popular. We all (we as in women) can relate to her despairing sentiments! While most won't admit, every woman has had her "nose wide open" for some man and for better or worse every woman has "done too much" for a guy. We've all had that one guy who we had to (some couldn't and still can't) resist calling almost everytime he popped up in our mind (which was about every 5.98 seconds), we were on a never ending, always continuing IM conversation or nonstop chirping on the Nextel, "why didn't you come through...I want to see you...where are you...i miss you" etc. It's embarassing, yes, but everyone's been there and that's why Paula is getting PAID off of her desperation.
On to other topics...I HATE ECONOMY AIRLINE ACCOMODATIONS! UGH... All 723.67 miles from Chicago to Washington, DC I flew with a 250 lb. man on my lap. When I think about it I get annoyed all over again. He wanted his seat back and I wanted my legs crossed. We couldn't have both comfortably. It's a shame and scandal! I found my self purposefully kneeing his back hoping that he'd get the not so subtle hint and adjust his seatback unfortunately I had no such luck. I can't wait to be paid so I can fly 1st class on ALL flights and not just the ones I just happen to get because the 1st class seats are the only ones open when I use my BuddyPass.
In other news...I got a new roomate today. She's really nice and I'm releived she seems normal. I'm glad she puts on make-up and goes out and has a life. What I'm not so glad about is she got the big room before I could stake my claim and she's cute so now I'm not as laisidasical about bringing my men friends around. Before I never feared that one of my suitors would find my suitemate more attractive now...well, I'm not worried but it is something to think about.
So, I started my new job today. It was great, easy going, saleable merchandise (nothing worse than working at a store that has nothing worth saleing -sp?), I only had a problem with one thing. ME. Let me know, does this sound bad? When seemingly "ghetto" women come into the boutique I get on guard, nervous that they may try and steal. While I don't outwardly treat them differently, in my mind I'm going over ways to call them out on trying to take merchandise without paying for it..."Excuse me ma'am...did you pay for that?" I feel horrible because I know it's profiling but unfortunately sometimes the stereotype is true. At my first retail job, I was required to watch a tape on theft and the different ways people can try and steal. Unfortunately, in the store I worked at, in real life most of those people had black faces and were lower on the socioeconomic ladder. I know it's wrong to profile, and I definitely try not to but it's hard to control your mind...luckily, I'm always in control of my actions and I understand that having morals has nothing to do with your tax bracket.

Now Playing: No More, Letoya Luckett

2006-06-30T11:09:00.000-05:00

Just Let Me Say....

A blog is a form of personal expression to the public. Anything I say in MY BLOG is up to me. While I'm not a bitch and am fully aware of the readers, (though most times they freeload and never comment)...I will never let anyone or any situation stop me from speaking my mind. Yes, I censor myself- I'd never completely put someone on blast and I'd never "defame" anyone's character, unless it were true you understand...
So about my roomates. They're not bad people really they're not. They just weren't made for me and that's completely okay because as we all know the world never has and never will revolve around me. However, being that this is my blog ...sometimes when it gets real bad I will speak on it.
Just for the record...the girl mentioned first in my blog...she's an alright person. She's not dirty though sometimes I wish I didn't what curl pattern her hair has since it's normally spotted all over the bathroom. But she just moved out so everything that happened is in the past and I don't wish any bad for her. She's not a bad person just not the best roomate for me.
The second situation...when I thought the girl commited suicide. That's a true story, but honestly I haven't seen the girl since. She's never here and I hardly see signs of her living here...so besides that night she has never been an issue and so besides that incident I've never mentioned her.
Okay, just thought I should share that with all of my loyal readers. Continue on, continue on with your obviously dreary everyday lives (since you felt the need to email my blurbs about the problems I was having with my roomates to enough people but it's okay, my blog is in public space and I understand that, I still just think you're pretty lame).

Now Playing: Roomates, Kanye West ft. Consequence

2006-06-29T23:43:00.000-05:00

...On Social Obligation

Well, many of you who know me know that one of my most long standing Facebook quotes is, "I don't have to do a damn thing but stay black and die!" It's Morgan Freeman from the movie, Lean on Me. While I love this quote, I've had to retire it because I don't truly agree with it. Not only do I have to stay "black" (for lack of a better description of my ethnicity) and die, but it is my personal obligation to give back and feed into youth what was imparted in me. "Community Service" is invaluable and a priceless experience, not only do the people being 'serviced' receive something but the people serving the community gain life long knowledge about the real issues that this world faces.
This past week I've been working with some of the most intelligent, driven, and wittiest young ladies I've ever met. I was a team leader for Equipo Azul al Encuentro de Chicas Latinas de Girl Scouts. At this 3 day latina youth leadership conference I was able to meet and be inspired by the young ladies I worked with. Most of them are first generation American citizens, if not immigrants themselves. While the girls at the conference already had some sense of leadership but could not see past high school. Latinas have the highest teen pregnancy rate and high school drop out rates as well. As the largest minority in America today, it's important that they become well adjusted citizens to help make a better America and it's our duty (college educated people ...of any color I suppose, though latinos and blacks should be the first in line to volunteer) to ensure this new generation of latinos see past the statistics.
While I was speaking to my two of my group members, Noemi and Elisa, about the opportunities and advantages for teens in the Girl Scouting program, I got embarassingly choked up inside about how important it is to give your time to those younger than you. I know this sounds corny, but I saw the inspiration in their eyes and how empowered they felt knowing que es la verdad "SI, SE PUEDE" ...yes, it can be done...whatever you want to do...it can be done. Now, the girls who I thought I was helping, now have me hooked because they're really the cool kids. I've already emailed them all...friended them on MySpace and Facebook.
This is very extreme, but apart of me whats to leave everything behind when I graduate and give myself to the world's causes. Go to countries in the Carribean and Latin America and go and inspire, spread the word that you can truly do anything that you desire to do in this world.
Yes, I love fashion but I love people even more. Giving the gift of hope and inspiration is something that I truly feel convicted about and that's something that I'll be doing for my entire life...no matter where I am.

There is so much I want to do in my life and in so little time.

1. Graduate from college

2. Globetrot

3. Have a successful career in the magazine industry

4. Own my own boutique by 30

5. Get married (also by 30)

6. Have children

7. Make a difference in the live of the world's teen girls, therefore save the world

Now Playing: That's how Strong My Love Is, Otis Redding